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in a tone which betrayed but little feeling； 〃Why； Corvisart says you
have not a year to live。〃 This was certainly no very welcome compliment
in the mouth of an old college friend； yet I must confess that the doctor
risked little by the prediction。
I had resolved； in fact； to follow the advice of Corvisart； my family
were urgent in their entreaties that I would do so； but I always put off
the decisive step。 I was loath to give up a friendship which had
subsisted so long； and which had been only once disturbed： on that
occasion when Joseph thought proper to play the spy upon me at the table
of Fouche。 I remembered also the reception I had met with from the
conqueror of Italy； and I experienced； moreover； no slight pain at the
thought of quitting one from whom I had received so many proofs of
confidence； and to whom I had been attached from early boyhood。 These
considerations constantly triumphed over the disgust to which I was
subjected by a number of circumstances； and by the increasing vexations
occasioned by the conflict between my private sentiments and the nature
of the duties I had to perform。
I was thus kept in a state of perplexity； from which some unforeseen
circumstance alone could extricate me。 Such a circumstance at length
occurred； and the following is the history of my first rupture with
Napoleon：
On the 27th of February 1802； at ten at night； Bonaparte dictated to me a
despatch of considerable importance and urgency； for M。 de Talleyrand；
requesting the Minister for Foreign Affairs to come to the Tuileries next
morning at an appointed hour。 According to custom； I put the letter into
the hands of the office messenger that it might be forwarded to its
destination。
This was Saturday。 The following day； Sunday； M。 de Talleyrand came as
if for an audience about mid…day。 The First Consul immediately began to
confer with him on the subject of the letter sent the previous evening；
and was astonished to learn that the Minister had not received it
until the morning。 He immediately rang for the messenger； and ordered me
to be sent for。 Being in a very。 bad humour； he pulled the bell with so
much fury that he struck his hand violently against the angle of the
chimney…piece。 I hurried to his presence。 〃 Why；〃 he said； addressing me
hastily； 〃why was not my letter delivered yesterday evening？〃〃I do not
know： I put it at once into the hands of the person whose duty it was to
see that it was sent。〃〃Go and find the cause of the delay； and come
back quickly。〃 Having rapidly made my inquiries； I returned to the
cabinet。 〃Well？〃 said the First Consul； whose irritation seemed to have
increased。 〃 Well； General； it is not the fault of anybody； M。 de
Talleyrand was not to be found； either at the office or at his own
residence； or at the houses of any of his friends where he was thought
likely to be。〃 Not knowing with whom to be angry； restrained by the
coolness of M。 de Talleyrand； yet at the same time ready to burst with
rage； Bonaparte rose from his seat； and proceeding to the hall； called
the messenger and questioned him sharply。 The man； disconcerted by the
anger of the First Consul； hesitated in his replies； and gave confused
answers。 Bonaparte returned to his cabinet still more irritated than he
had left it。
I had followed him to the hall； and on my way back to the cabinet I
attempted to soothe him； and I begged him not to be thus discomposed by a
circumstance which； after all； was of no great moment。 I do not know
whether his anger was increased by the sight of the blood which flowed
from his hand； and which he was every moment looking at； but however that
might be； a transport of furious passion； such as I had never before
witnessed； seized him； and as I was about to enter the cabinet after him
he threw back the door with so much violence that； had I been two or
three inches nearer him； it must infallibly have struck me in the face。
He accompanied this action； which was almost convulsive； with an
appellation； not to be borne； he exclaimed before M。 de Talleyrand；
〃Leave me alone； you are a fool。〃 At an insult so atrocious I confess
that the anger which had already mastered the First Consul suddenly
seized on me。 I thrust the door forward with as much impetuosity as he
had used in throwing it back； and； scarcely knowing what I said；
exclaimed； 〃You are a hundredfold a greater fool than I am！〃 I then
banged the door and went upstairs to my apartment； which was situated
over the cabinet。
I was as far from expecting as from wishing such an occasion of
separating from the First Consul。 But what was done could not be undone；
and therefore； without taking time for reflection； and still under the
influence of the anger that had got the better of me； I penned the
following positive resignation：
GENERALThe state of my health no longer permits me to continue in your
service。 I therefore beg you to accept my resignation。
BOURRIENNE。
Some moments after this note was written I saw Bonaparte's saddle…horses
brought up to the entrance of the Palace。 It was Sunday morning； and；
contrary to his usual custom on that day； he was going to ride out。
Duroc accompanied him。 He was no sooner done than I； went down into his
cabinet； and placed my letter on his table。 On returning at four o'clock
with Duroc Bonaparte read my letter。 〃Ah！ ah！〃 said he； before opening
it； 〃a letter from Bourrienne。〃 And he almost immediately added； for the
note was speedily perused； 〃He is in the sulks。Accepted。〃 I had left
the Tuileries at the moment he returned； but Duroc sent to me where I was
dining the following billet：
The First Consul desires me； my dear Bourrienne； to inform you that he
accepts your resignation； and to request that you will give me the
necessary information respecting your papers。Yours；
DUROC。
P。S。：I will call on you presently。
Duroc came to me at eight o'clock the same evening。 The First Consul was
in his cabinet when we entered it。 I immediately commenced giving my
intended successor the necessary explanations to enable him to enter upon
his new duties。 Piqued at finding that I did not speak to him； and at
the coolness with which I instructed Duroc； Bonaparte said to me in a
harsh tone； 〃Come； I have had enough of this！ Leave me。〃 I stepped down
from the ladder on which I had mounted for the purpose of pointing out to
Duroc the places in which the various papers were deposited and hastily
withdrew。 I too had quite enough of it！
I remained two more days at the Tuileries until I had suited myself with
lodgings。 On Monday I went down into the cabinet of the First Consul to
take my leave of him。 We conversed together for a long time； and very
amicably。 He told me he was very sorry I was going to leave him； and
that he would do all he could for me。 I pointed out several places to
him； at last I mentioned the Tribunate。 〃That will not do for you；〃 he
said； the members are a set of babblers and phrasemongers； whom I mean to
get rid of。 All the troubles of States proceed from such