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to sit down； and reading that notice； passes by； and hunts for a
seat on which children are permitted to rest； and there he seats
himself； careful not to touch the woodwork with his muddy boots。
Imagine a seat in Regent's or St。 James's Park labelled 〃Only for
grown…ups！〃 Every child for five miles round would be trying to
get on that seat； and hauling other children off who were on。 As
for any 〃grown…up；〃 he would never be able to get within half a
mile of that seat for the crowd。 The German small boy； who has
accidentally sat down on such without noticing； rises with a start
when his error is pointed out to him； and goes away with down…cast
head； brushing to the roots of his hair with shame and regret。
Not that the German child is neglected by a paternal Government。
In German parks and public gardens special places （Spielplatze） are
provided for him； each one supplied with a heap of sand。 There he
can play to his heart's content at making mud pies and building
sand castles。 To the German child a pie made of any other mud than
this would appear an immoral pie。 It would give to him no
satisfaction： his soul would revolt against it。
〃That pie；〃 he would say to himself； 〃was not； as it should have
been； made of Government mud specially set apart for the purpose；
it was nor manufactured in the place planned and maintained by the
Government for the making of mud pies。 It can bring no real
blessing with it； it is a lawless pie。〃 And until his father had
paid the proper fine； and he had received his proper licking； his
conscience would continue to trouble him。
Another excellent piece of material for obtaining excitement in
Germany is the simple domestic perambulator。 What you may do with
a 〃kinder…wagen；〃 as it is called； and what you may not； covers
pages of German law； after the reading of which； you conclude that
the man who can push a perambulator through a German town without
breaking the law was meant for a diplomatist。 You must not loiter
with a perambulator； and you must not go too fast。 You must not
get in anybody's way with a perambulator； and if anybody gets in
your way you must get out of their way。 If you want to stop with a
perambulator； you must go to a place specially appointed where
perambulators may stop； and when you get there you MUST stop。 You
must not cross the road with a perambulator； if you and the baby
happen to live on the other side； that is your fault。 You must not
leave your perambulator anywhere； and only in certain places can
you take it with you。 I should say that in Germany you could go
out with a perambulator and get into enough trouble in half an hour
to last you for a month。 Any young Englishman anxious for a row
with the police could not do better than come over to Germany and
bring his perambulator with him。
In Germany you must not leave your front door unlocked after ten
o'clock at night； and you must not play the piano in your own house
after eleven。 In England I have never felt I wanted to play the
piano myself； or to hear anyone else play it； after eleven o'clock
at night； but that is a very different thing to being told that you
must not play it。 Here； in Germany； I never feel that I really
care for the piano until eleven o'clock； then I could sit and
listen to the 〃Maiden's Prayer；〃 or the Overture to 〃Zampa；〃 with
pleasure。 To the law…loving German； on the other hand； music after
eleven o'clock at night ceases to be music； it becomes sin； and as
such gives him no satisfaction。
The only individual throughout Germany who ever dreams of taking
liberties with the law is the German student； and he only to a
certain well…defined point。 By custom； certain privileges are
permitted to him； but even these are strictly limited and clearly
understood。 For instance； the German student may get drunk and
fall asleep in the gutter with no other penalty than that of having
the next morning to tip the policeman who has found him and brought
him home。 But for this purpose he must choose the gutters of side…
streets。 The German student； conscious of the rapid approach of
oblivion； uses all his remaining energy to get round the corner；
where he may collapse without anxiety。 In certain districts he may
ring bells。 The rent of flats in these localities is lower than in
other quarters of the town； while the difficulty is further met by
each family preparing for itself a secret code of bell…ringing by
means of which it is known whether the summons is genuine or not。
When visiting such a household late at night it is well to be
acquainted with this code； or you may； if persistent； get a bucket
of water thrown over you。
Also the German student is allowed to put out lights at night； but
there is a prejudice against his putting out too many。 The larky
German student generally keeps count； contenting himself with half
a dozen lights per night。 Likewise； he may shout and sing as he
walks home； up till half…past two； and at certain restaurants it is
permitted to him to put his arm round the Fraulein's waist。 To
prevent any suggestion of unseemliness； the waitresses at
restaurants frequented by students are always carefully selected
from among a staid and elderly classy of women； by reason of which
the German student can enjoy the delights of flirtation without
fear and without reproach to anyone。
They are a law…abiding people； the Germans。
CHAPTER X
Baden from the visitor's point of viewBeauty of the early
morning； as viewed from the preceding afternoonDistance； as
measured by the compassDitto； as measured by the legGeorge in
account with his conscienceA lazy machineBicycling； according
to the poster： its restfulnessThe poster cyclist： its costume；
its methodThe griffin as a household petA dog with proper self…
respectThe horse that was abused。
From Baden； about which it need only be said that it is a pleasure
resort singularly like other pleasure resorts of the same
description； we started bicycling in earnest。 We planned a ten
days' tour； which； while completing the Black Forest； should
include a spin down the Donau…Thal； which for the twenty miles from
Tuttlingen to Sigmaringen is； perhaps； the finest valley in
Germany； the Danube stream here winding its narrow way past old…
world unspoilt villages； past ancient monasteries； nestling in
green pastures； where still the bare…footed and bare…headed friar；
his rope girdle tight about his loins； shepherds； with crook in
hand； his sheep upon the hill sides； through rocky woods； between
sheer walls of cliff； whose every towering crag stands crowned with
ruined fortress； church； or castle； together with a blick at the
Vosges mountains； where half the population is bitterly pained if
you speak to them in French； the other half being insulted when you
address them in German； and the whole indignantly contemptuous at
the first sound of English； a state of things that renders
conversation with the stranger somewhat nervous work。
We did not succeed in carrying out our programme in its entirety；
for the reason that human performance lags ever behind human
intention。 It is easy to say and believe at three o'cloc