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we slept in a Black Forest farmhouse。 The great charm about the
Black Forest house is its sociability。 The cows are in the next
room； the horses are upstairs； the geese and ducks are in the
kitchen； while the pigs； the children； and the chickens live all
over the place。
You are dressing； when you hear a grunt behind you。
〃Good…morning！ Don't happen to have any potato peelings in here？
No； I see you haven't； good…bye。〃
Next there is a cackle； and you see the neck of an old hen
stretched round the corner。
〃Fine morning； isn't it？ You don't mind my bringing this worm of
mine in here； do you？ It is so difficult in this house to find a
room where one can enjoy one's food with any quietness。 From a
chicken I have always been a slow eater； and when a dozenthere； I
thought they wouldn't leave me alone。 Now they'll all want a bit。
You don't mind my getting on the bed； do you？ Perhaps here they
won't notice me。〃
While you are dressing various shock heads peer in at the door；
they evidently regard the room as a temporary menagerie。 You
cannot tell whether the heads belong to boys or girls； you can only
hope they are all male。 It is of no use shutting the door； because
there is nothing to fasten it by； and the moment you are gone they
push it open again。 You breakfast as the Prodigal Son is generally
represented feeding： a pig or two drop in to keep you company； a
party of elderly geese criticise you from the door； you gather from
their whispers； added to their shocked expression； that they are
talking scandal about you。 Maybe a cow will condescend to give a
glance in。
This Noah's Ark arrangement it is； I suppose； that gives to the
Black Forest home its distinctive scent。 It is not a scent you can
liken to any one thing。 It is as if you took roses and Limburger
cheese and hair oil； some heather and onions； peaches and soapsuds；
together with a dash of sea air and a corpse； and mixed them up
together。 You cannot define any particular odour； but you feel
they are all thereall the odours that the world has yet
discovered。 People who live in these houses are fond of this
mixture。 They do not open the window and lose any of it； they keep
it carefully bottled up。 If you want any other scent； you can go
outside and smell the wood violets and the pines； inside there is
the house； and after a while； I am told； you get used to it； so
that you miss it； and are unable to go to sleep in any other
atmosphere。
We had a long walk before us the next day； and it was our desire；
therefore； to get up early； even so early as six o'clock； if that
could be managed without disturbing the whole household。 We put it
to our hostess whether she thought this could be done。 She said
she thought it could。 She might not be about herself at that time；
it was her morning for going into the town； some eight miles off；
and she rarely got back much before seven； but； possibly； her
husband or one of the boys would be returning home to lunch about
that hour。 Anyhow； somebody should be sent back to wake us and get
our breakfast。
As it turned out； we did not need any waking。 We got up at four；
all by ourselves。 We got up at four in order to get away from the
noise and the din that was making our heads ache。 What time the
Black Forest peasant rises in the summer time I am unable to say；
to us they appeared to be getting up all night。 And the first
thing the Black Forester does when he gets up is to put on a pair
of stout boots with wooden soles； and take a constitutional round
the house。 Until he has been three times up and down the stairs；
he does not feel he is up。 Once fully awake himself； the next
thing he does is to go upstairs to the stables； and wake up a
horse。 （The Black Forest house being built generally on the side
of a steep hill； the ground floor is at the top； and the hay…loft
at the bottom。） Then the horse； it would seem； must also have its
constitutional round the house； and this seen to； the man goes
downstairs into the kitchen and begins to chop wood； and when he
has chopped sufficient wood he feels pleased with himself and
begins to sing。 All things considered； we came to the conclusion
we could not do better than follow the excellent example set us。
Even George was quite eager to get up that morning。
We had a frugal breakfast at half…past four； and started away at
five。 Our road lay over a mountain； and from enquiries made in the
village it appeared to be one of those roads you cannot possibly
miss。 I suppose everybody knows this sort of road。 Generally； it
leads you back to where you started from； and when it doesn't； you
wish it did； so that at all events you might know where you were。
I foresaw evil from the very first； and before we had accomplished
a couple of miles we came up with it。 The road divided into three。
A worm…eaten sign…post indicated that the path to the left led to a
place that we had never heard ofthat was on no map。 Its other
arm； pointing out the direction of the middle road； had
disappeared。 The road to the right； so we all agreed； clearly led
back again to the village。
〃The old man said distinctly；〃 so Harris reminded us； 〃keep
straight on round the hill。〃
〃Which hill？〃 George asked； pertinently。
We were confronted by half a dozen； some of them big； some of them
little。
〃He told us；〃 continued Harris； 〃that we should come to a wood。〃
〃I see no reason to doubt him；〃 commented George； 〃whichever road
we take。〃
As a matter of fact； a dense wood covered every hill。
〃And he said；〃 murmured Harris； 〃that we should reach the top in
about an hour and a half。〃
〃There it is；〃 said George； 〃that I begin to disbelieve him。〃
〃Well； what shall we do？〃 said Harris。
Now I happen to possess the bump of locality。 It is not a virtue；
I make no boast of it。 It is merely an animal instinct that I
cannot help。 That things occasionally get in my waymountains；
precipices； rivers； and such like obstructionsis no fault of
mine。 My instinct is correct enough； it is the earth that is
wrong。 I led them by the middle road。 That the middle road had
not character enough to continue for any quarter of a mile in the
same direction； that after three miles up and down hill it ended
abruptly in a wasps' nest； was not a thing that should have been
laid to my door。 If the middle road had gone in the direction it
ought to have done； it would have taken us to where we wanted to
go； of that I am convinced。
Even as it was； I would have continued to use this gift of mine to
discover a fresh way had a proper spirit been displayed towards me。
But I am not an angelI admit this frankly；and I decline to
exert myself for the ungrateful and the ribald。 Besides； I doubt
if George and Harris would have followed me further in any event。
Therefore it was that I washed my hands of the whole affair； and
that Harris entered upon the vacancy。
〃Well；〃 said Harris。 〃I suppose you are satisfied with what you
have done？〃
〃I am quite satisfied；〃 I replied from the heap of stones where I
was sitting。 〃So far； I have brought you with safety。 I would
continue to lead you further； but no artist can