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the blue flower-第31章

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could only forget them all; then I could live my life as I
pleased; and be happy。〃

〃Why not?〃 said a quiet voice at his back。

He turned; and saw an old man with a long beard and a
threadbare cloak (the garb affected by the pagan philosophers)
standing behind him and smiling curiously。

〃How is it that you answer that which has not been
spoken?〃 said Hermas; 〃and who are you that honour me with
your company?〃

〃Forgive the intrusion;〃 answered the stranger; 〃it is not
ill meant。  A friendly interest is as good as an introduction。〃

〃But to what singular circumstance do I owe this interest?〃

〃To your face;〃 said the old man; with a courteous
inclination。  〃Perhaps also a little to the fact that I am the
oldest inhabitant here; and feel as if all visitors were my
guests; in a way。〃

〃Are you; then; one of the keepers of the grove?  And have
you given up your work with the trees to take a holiday as a
philosopher?

〃Not at all。  The robe of philosophy is a mere
affectation; I must confess。  I think little of it。  My
profession is the care of altars。  In fact; I am the solitary
priest of Apollo whom the Emperor Julian found here when he
came to revive the worship of the grove; some twenty years
ago。  You have heard of the incident?〃

〃Yes;〃 said Hermas; beginning to be interested; 〃the whole
city must have heard of it; for it is still talked of。  But
surely it was a strange sacrifice that you brought to
celebrate the restoration of Apollo's temple?〃

〃You mean the ancient goose?〃 said the old man laughing。
〃Well; perhaps it was not precisely what the emperor expected。
But it was all that I had; and it seemed to me not
inappropriate。  You will agree to that if you are a Christian;
as I guess from your dress。〃

〃You speak lightly for a priest of Apollo。〃

〃Oh; as for that; I am no bigot。  The priesthood is a
professional matter; and the name of Apollo is as good as any
other。  How many altars do you think there have been in this
grove?〃

〃I do not know。〃

〃Just four…and…twenty; including that of the martyr
Babylas; whose ruined chapel you see just beyond us。  I have
had something to do with most of them in my time。  They are
transitory。  They give employment to care…takers for a while。
But the thing that lasts; and the thing that interests me; is
the human life that plays around them。  The game has been
going on for centuries。  It still disports itself very
pleasantly on summer evenings through these shady walks。
Believe me; for I know。  Daphne and Apollo are shadows。  But
the flying maidens and the pursuing lovers; the music and the
dances; these are realities。  Life is a game; and the world
keeps it up merrily。  But you?  You are of a sad countenance
for one so young and so fair。  Are you a loser in the game?〃
  The words and tone of the speaker fitted Hermas' mood as
a key fits the lock。  He opened his heart to the old man; and
told him the story of his life: his luxurious boyhood in his
father's house; the irresistible spell which compelled him to
forsake it when he heard John's preaching of the new religion;
his lonely year with the anchorites among the mountains; the
strict discipline in his teacher's house at Antioch; his
weariness of duty; his distaste for poverty; his discontent with
worship。

〃And to…day;〃 said he; 〃I have been thinking that I am a
fool。  My life is swept as bare as a hermit's cell。  There is
nothing in it but a dream; a thought of God; which does not
satisfy me。〃

The singular smile deepened on his companion's face。  〃You
are ready; then;〃 he suggested; 〃to renounce your new religion
and go back to that of your father?〃

〃No; I renounce nothing; I accept nothing。  I do not wish
to think about it。  I only wish to live。〃

〃A very reasonable wish; and I think you are about to see
its accomplishment。  Indeed; I may even say that I can put you
in the way of securing it。  Do you believe in magic?〃

〃I do not know whether I believe in anything。  This is not
a day on which I care to make professions of faith。  I believe
in what I see。  I want what will give me pleasure。〃

〃Well;〃 said the old man; soothingly; as he plucked a leaf
from the laurel…tree above them and dipped it in the spring; 〃let
us dismiss the riddles of belief。  I like them as little as you
do。  You know this is a Castalian fountain。  The Emperor Hadrian
once read his fortune here from a leaf dipped in the water。  Let
us see what this leaf tells us。  It is already turning yellow。
How do you read that?〃

〃Wealth;〃 said Hermas; laughing; as he looked at his mean
garments。

〃And here is a bud on the stem that seems to be swelling。
What is that?〃

〃Pleasure;〃 answered Hermas; bitterly。

〃And here is a tracing of wreaths upon the surface。  What
do you make of that?〃

〃What you will;〃 said Hermas; not even taking the trouble
to look。  〃Suppose we say success and fame?〃

〃Yes;〃 said the stranger; 〃it is all written here。  I
promise that you shall enjoy it all。  But you do not need to
believe in my promise。  I am not in the habit of requiring
faith of those whom I would serve。  No such hard conditions
for me!  There is only one thing that I ask。  This is the season
that you Christians call the Christmas; and you have taken up the
pagan custom of exchanging gifts。  Well; if I give to you; you
must give to me。  It is a small thing; and really the thing you
can best afford to part with: a single wordthe name of Him you
profess to worship。  Let me take that word and all that
belongs to it entirely out of your life; so that you shall
never hear it or speak it again。  You will be richer without
it。  I promise you everything; and this is all I ask in
return。  Do you consent?〃

〃Yes。  I consent;〃 said Hermas; mocking。  〃If you can take
your price; a word; you can keep your promise; a dream。〃

The stranger laid the long; cool; wet leaf softly across
the young man's eyes。  An icicle of pain darted through them;
every nerve in his body was drawn together there in a knot of
agony。

Then all the tangle of pain seemed to be lifted out of
him。  A cool languor of delight flowed back through every
vein; and he sank into a profound sleep。


III

There is a slumber so deep that it annihilates time。  It is
like a fragment of eternity。  Beneath its enchantment of
vacancy; a day seems like a thousand years; and a thousand
years might well pass as one day。

It was such a sleep that fell upon Hermas in the Grove of
Daphne。  An immeasurable period; an interval of life so blank
and empty that he could not tell whether it was long or short;
had passed over him when his senses began to stir again。  The
setting sun was shooting arrows of gold under the glossy
laurel…leaves。  He rose and stretched his arms; grasping a
smooth branch above him and shaking it; to make sure that he
was alive。  Then he hurried back toward Antioch; treading
lightly as if on air。

The ground seemed to spring beneath his feet。  Already his
life had changed; he knew not how。  Something that did not
belong to him had dropped away; he had returned to a former
state of being。 He felt as if anything might happen to him; and
he was ready for anything。
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