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westward ho-第150章

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wept all before us; inch by inch; but surely; till the night fell。  Then Vaca de Castro; the licentiate; the clerk; the schoolman; the man of books; came down on us with his reserve like a whirlwind。  Oh! cavaliers; did not God fight against us; when He let us; the men of iron; us; the heroes of Cuzco and Vilcaconga; be foiled by a scholar in a black gown; with a pen behind his ear?  We were beaten。  Some ran; some did not run; senors; and I did not。  Geronimo de Alvarado shouted to me; 'We slew Pizarro!  We killed the tyrant!' and we rushed upon the conqueror's lances; to die like cavaliers。  There was a gallant gentleman in front of me。  His lance struck me in the crest; and bore me over my horse's croup: but mine; senors; struck him full in the vizor。  We both went to the ground together; and the battle galloped over us。

〃I know not how long I lay; for I was stunned: but after awhile I lifted myself。  My lance was still clenched in my hand; broken but not parted。  The point of it was in my foeman's brain。  I crawled to him; weary and wounded; and saw that he was a noble cavalier。 He lay on his back; his arms spread wide。  I knew that he was dead: but there came over me the strangest longing to see that dead man's face。  Perhaps I knew him。  At least I could set my foot upon it; and say; 'Vanquished as I am; there lies a foe!'  I caught hold of the rivets; and tore his helmet off。  The moon shone bright; senors; as bright as she shines nowthe glaring; ghastly; tell… tale moon; which shows man all the sins which he tries to hide; and by that moonlight; senors; I beheld the dead man's face。  And it was the face of my brother!

              。     。     。     。     。     。     。

〃Did you ever guess; most noble cavaliers; what Cain's curse might be like?  Look on me; and know!

〃I tore off my armor and fled; as Cain flednorthward ever; till I should reach a land where the name of Spaniard; yea; and the name of Christian; which the Spaniard has caused to be blasphemed from east to west; should never come。  I sank fainting; and waked beneath this rock; this tree; forty…four years ago; and I have never left them since; save once; to obtain seeds from Indians; who knew not that I was a Spanish Conquistador。  And may God have mercy on my soul!〃

The old man ceased; and his young hearers; deeply affected by his tale; sat silent for a few minutes。  Then John Brimblecombe spoke:

〃You are old; sir; and I am young; and perhaps it is not my place to counsel you。  Moreover; sir; in spite of this strange dress of mine; I am neither more nor less than an English priest; and I suppose you will not be willing to listen to a heretic。〃

〃I have seen Catholics; senor; commit too many abominations even with the name of God upon their lips; to shrink from a heretic if he speak wisely and well。  At least; you are a man; and after all; my heart yearns more and more; the longer I sit among you; for the speech of beings of my own race。  Say what you will; in God's name!〃

〃I hold; sir;〃 said Jack; modestly; 〃according to holy Scripture; that whosoever repents from his heart; as God knows you seem to have done; is forgiven there and then; and though his sins be as scarlet; they shall be white as snow; for the sake of Him who died for all。〃

〃Amen! Amen!〃 said the old man; looking lovingly at his little crucifix。  〃I hope and prayHis name is Love。  I know it now; who better?  But; sir; even if He have forgiven me; how can I forgive myself?  In honor; sir; I must be just; and sternly just; to myself; even if God be indulgent; as He has been to me; who has left me here in peace for forty years; instead of giving me a prey to the first puma or jaguar which howls round me every night。  He has given me time to work out my own salvation; but have I done it? That doubt maddens me at whiles。  When I look upon that crucifix; I float on boundless hope: but if I take my eyes from it for a moment; faith fails; and all is blank; and dark; and dreadful; till the devil whispers me to plunge into yon stream; and once and for ever wake to certainty; even though it be in hell。〃

What was Jack to answer?  He himself knew not at first。  More was wanted than the mere repetition of free pardon。

〃Heretic as I am; sir; you will not believe me when I tell you; as a priest; that God accepts your penitence。〃

〃My heart tells me so already; at moments。  But how know I that it does not lie?〃

〃Senor;〃 said Jack; 〃the best way to punish oneself for doing ill; seems to me to go and do good; and the best way to find out whether God means you well; is to find out whether He will help you to do well。  If you have wronged Indians in time past; see whether you cannot right them now。  If you can; you are safe。  For the Lord will not send the devil's servants to do His work。〃

The old man held down his head。

〃Right the Indians?  Alas! what is done; is done!〃

〃Not altogether; senor;〃 said Amyas; 〃as long as an Indian remains alive in New Granada。〃

〃Senor; shall I confess my weakness?  A voice within me has bid me a hundred times go forth and labor; for those oppressed wretches; but I dare not obey。  I dare not look them in the face。  I should fancy that they knew my story; that the very birds upon the trees would reveal my crime; and bid them turn from me with horror。〃

〃Senor;〃 said Amyas; 〃these are but the sick fancies of a noble spirit; feeding on itself in solitude。  You have but to try to conquer。〃

〃And look now;〃 said Jack; 〃if you dare not go forth to help the Indians; see now how God has brought the Indians to your own door。 Oh; excellent sir〃

〃Call me not excellent;〃 said the old man; smiting his breast。

〃I do; and shall; sir; while I see in you an excellent repentance; an excellent humility; and an excellent justice;〃 said Jack。  〃But oh; sir; look upon these forty souls; whom we must leave behind; like sheep which have no shepherd。  Could you not teach them to fear God and to love each other; to live like rational men; perhaps to die like Christians?  They would obey you as a dog obeys his master。  You might be their king; their father; yea; their pope; if you would。〃

〃You do not speak like a Lutheran。〃

〃I am not a Lutheran; but an Englishman: but; Protestant as I am; God knows; I had sooner see these poor souls of your creed; than of none。〃

〃But I am no priest。〃

〃When they are ready;〃 said Jack; 〃the Lord will send a priest。  If you begin the good work; you may trust to Him to finish it。〃

〃God help me!〃 said the old warrior。

The talk lasted long into the night; but Amyas was up long before daybreak; felling the trees; and as he and Cary walked back to breakfast; the first thing which they saw was the old man in his garden with four or five Indian children round him; talking smilingly to them。

〃The old man's heart is sound still;〃 said Will。  〃No man is lost who still is fond of little children。〃

〃Ah; senors!〃 said the hermit as they came up; 〃you see that I have begun already to act upon your advice。〃

〃And you have begun at the right end;〃 quoth Amyas; 〃if you win the children; you win the mothers。〃

〃And if you win the mothers;〃 quoth Will; 〃the poor fathers must needs obey their wives; and follow in the
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