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and suddenly desisted。 Our hands met gropingly；
lingered united in a steady； motionless clasp for a second。
。 。 。 No word was breathed by either of us when they separated。
I was standing quietly by the pantry door when the steward returned。
〃Sorry； sir。 Kettle barely warm。 Shall I light the spirit lamp？〃
〃Never mind。〃
I came out on deck slowly。 It was now a matter of conscience
to shave the land as close as possiblefor now he must go overboard
whenever the ship was put in stays。 Must！ There could be no going
back for him。 After a moment I walked over to leeward and my
heart flew into my mouth at the nearness of the land on the bow。
Under any other circumstances I would not have held on a minute longer。
The second mate had followed me anxiously。
I looked on till I felt I could command my voice。
〃She will weather；〃 I said then in a quiet tone。
〃Are you going to try that； sir？〃 he stammered out incredulously。
I took no notice of him and raised my tone just enough to be heard
by the helmsman。
〃Keep her good full。〃
〃Good full； sir。〃
The wind fanned my cheek； the sails slept； the world was silent。
The strain of watching the dark loom of the land grow bigger and denser
was too much for me。 I had shut my eyesbecause the ship must go closer。
She must！ The stillness was intolerable。 Were we standing still？
When I opened my eyes the second view started my heart with a thump。
The black southern hill of Koh…ring seemed to hang right over
the ship like a towering fragment of everlasting night。
On that enormous mass of blackness there was not a gleam to
be seen； not a sound to be heard。 It was gliding irresistibly
towards us and yet seemed already within reach of the hand。
I saw the vague figures of the watch grouped in the waist；
gazing in awed silence。
〃Are you going on； sir？〃 inquired an unsteady voice at my elbow。
I ignored it。 I had to go on。
〃Keep her full。 Don't check her way。 That won't do now；〃
I said warningly。
〃I can't see the sails very well；〃 the helmsman answered me；
in strange； quavering tones。
Was she close enough？ Already she was； I won't say in the shadow of the land；
but in the very blackness of it； already swallowed up as it were； gone too
close to be recalled； gone from me altogether。
〃Give the mate a call；〃 I said to the young man who stood at my elbow
as still as death。 〃And turn all hands up。〃
My tone had a borrowed loudness reverberated from the height of the land。
Several voices cried out together： 〃We are all on deck； sir。〃
Then stillness again； with the great shadow gliding closer；
towering higher； without a light； without a sound。
Such a hush had fallen on the ship that she might have been a bark
of the dead floating in slowly under the very gate of Erebus。
〃My God！ Where are we？〃
It was the mate moaning at my elbow。 He was thunderstruck；
and as it were deprived of the moral support of his whiskers。
He clapped his hands and absolutely cried out； 〃Lost！〃
〃Be quiet；〃 I said； sternly。
He lowered his tone； but I saw the shadowy gesture of his despair。
〃What are we doing here？〃
〃Looking for the land wind。〃
He made as if to tear his hair； and addressed me recklessly。
〃She will never get out。 You have done it； sir。 I knew it'd end in something
like this。 She will never weather； and you are too close now to stay。
She'll drift ashore before she's round。 O my God！〃
I caught his arm as he was raising it to batter his poor devoted head；
and shook it violently。
〃She's ashore already；〃 he wailed； trying to tear himself away。
〃Is she？ 。 。 。 Keep good full there！〃
〃Good full； sir；〃 cried the helmsman in a frightened； thin； childlike voice。
I hadn't let go the mate's arm and went on shaking it。 〃Ready about；
do you hear？ You go forward〃shake〃and stop there〃shake〃and hold
your noise〃shake〃 and see these head…sheets properly overhauled〃
shake； shakeshake。
And all the time I dared not look towards the land lest my heart
should fail me。 I released my grip at last and he ran forward
as if fleeing for dear life。
I wondered what my double there in the sail locker thought of
this commotion。 He was able to hear everythingand perhaps he was able
to understand why； on my conscience； it had to be thus closeno less。
My first order 〃Hard alee！〃 re…echoed ominously under the towering
shadow of Koh…ring as if I had shouted in a mountain gorge。
And then I watched the land intently。 In that smooth water
and light wind it was impossible to feel the ship coming…to。 No！
I could not feel her。 And my second self was making now ready
to ship out and lower himself overboard。 Perhaps he was gone
already 。 。 。 ？
The great black mass brooding over our very mastheads began to pivot away
from the ship's side silently。 And now I forgot the secret stranger ready
to depart； and remembered only that I was a total stranger to the ship。
I did not know her。 Would she do it？ How was she to be handled？
I swung the mainyard and waited helplessly。 She was perhaps stopped；
and her very fate hung in the balance； with the black mass
of Koh…ring like the gate of the everlasting night towering over
her taffrail。 What would she do now？ Had she way on her yet？
I stepped to the side swiftly； and on the shadowy water I could see
nothing except a faint phosphorescent flash revealing the glassy
smoothness of the sleeping surface。 It was impossible to tell
and I had not learned yet the feel of my ship。 Was she moving？
What I needed was something easily seen； a piece of paper；
which I could throw overboard and watch。 I had nothing on me。
To run down for it I didn't dare。 There was no time。
All at once my strained； yearning stare distinguished
a white object floating within a yard of the ship's side。
White on the black water。 A phosphorescent flash passed under it。
What was that thing？ 。 。 。 I recognized my own floppy hat。
It must have fallen off his head 。 。 。 and he didn't bother。
Now I had what I wantedthe saving mark for my eyes。
But I hardly thought of my other self； now gone from the ship；
to be hidden forever from all friendly faces； to be a fugitive
and a vagabond on the earth； with no brand of the curse on his
sane forehead to stay a slaying hand 。 。 。 too proud to explain。
And I watched the hatthe expression of my sudden pity for his mere flesh。
It had been meant to save his homeless head from the dangers of the sun。
And nowbeholdit was saving the ship； by serving me for a mark to help
out the ignorance of my strangeness。 Ha！ It was drifting forward；
warning me just in time that the ship had gathered sternaway。
〃Shift the helm；〃 I said in a low voice to the seaman standing still
like a statue。
The man's eyes glistened wildly in the binnacle light as he jumped
round to the other side and spun round the wheel。
I walked to the break of