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to me； untied the scalps from his belt； and fastened them to my
waist。
〃But you ain't killed yet；〃 I protested。
〃You bet your life I ain't；〃 he answered lightly。
〃I've just reformed； that's all。 This scalp…wearin' is a vain thing
and heathen。〃 He stopped a moment as if he had forgotten something；
then； as he turned abruptly on his heel to regain the men of our
company； he called over his shoulder； 〃Well； so long； Jesse。〃
I was wondering why he should say good…bye when a white man came
riding into the corral。 He said Major Higbee had sent him to tell
us to hurry up； because the Indians might attack at any moment。
So the march began； the two wagons first。 Lee kept along with the
women and walking children。 Behind us； after waiting until we were
a couple of hundred feet in advance； came our men。 As we emerged
from the corral we could see the militia just a short distance away。
They were leaning on their rifles and standing in a long line about
six feet apart。 As we passed them I could not help noticing how
solemn…faced they were。 They looked like men at a funeral。 So did
the women notice this； and some of them began to cry。
I walked right behind my mother。 I had chosen this position so that
she would not catch…sight of my scalps。 Behind me came the three
Demdike sisters； two of them helping the old mother。 I could hear
Lee calling all the time to the men who drove the wagons not to go
so fast。 A man that one of the Demdike girls said must be Major
Higbee sat on a horse watching us go by。 Not an Indian was in
sight。
By the time our men were just abreast of the militiaI had just
looked back to try to see where Jed Dunham wasthe thing happened。
I heard Major Higbee cry out in a loud voice； 〃Do your duty！〃 All
the rifles of the militia seemed to go off at once； and our men were
falling over and sinking down。 All the Demdike women went down at
one time。 I turned quickly to see how mother was； and she was down。
Right alongside of us； out of the bushes； came hundreds of Indians；
all shooting。 I saw the two Dunlap sisters start on the run across
the sand； and took after them； for whites and Indians were all
killing us。 And as I ran I saw the driver of one of the wagons
shooting the two wounded men。 The horses of the other wagon were
plunging and rearing and their driver was trying to hold them。
It was when the little boy that was I was running after the Dunlap
girls that blackness came upon him。 All memory there ceases； for
Jesse Fancher there ceased； and； as Jesse Fancher； ceased for ever。
The form that was Jesse Fancher； the body that was his； being matter
and apparitional； like an apparition passed and was not。 But the
imperishable spirit did not cease。 It continued to exist； and； in
its next incarnation； became the residing spirit of that
apparitional body known as Darrell Standing's which soon is to be
taken out and hanged and sent into the nothingness whither all
apparitions go。
There is a lifer here in Folsom； Matthew Davies； of old pioneer
stock； who is trusty of the scaffold and execution chamber。 He is
an old man； and his folks crossed the plains in the early days。 I
have talked with him； and he has verified the massacre in which
Jesse Fancher was killed。 When this old lifer was a child there was
much talk in his family of the Mountain Meadows Massacre。 The
children in the wagons； he said； were saved； because they were too
young to tell tales。
All of which I submit。 Never； in my life of Darrell Standing； have
I read a line or heard a word spoken of the Fancher Company that
perished at Mountain Meadows。 Yet； in the jacket in San Quentin
prison； all this knowledge came to me。 I could not create this
knowledge out of nothing； any more than could I create dynamite out
of nothing。 This knowledge and these facts I have related have but
one explanation。 They are out of the spirit content of methe
spirit that； unlike matter； does not perish。
In closing this chapter I must state that Matthew Davies also told
me that some years after the massacre Lee was taken by United States
Government officials to the Mountain Meadows and there executed on
the site of our old corral。
CHAPTER XIV
When； at the conclusion of my first ten days' term in the jacket； I
was brought back to consciousness by Doctor Jackson's thumb pressing
open an eyelid； I opened both eyes and smiled up into the face of
Warden Atherton。
〃Too cussed to live and too mean to die；〃 was his comment。
〃The ten days are up； Warden；〃 I whispered。
〃Well； we're going to unlace you；〃 he growled。
〃It is not that；〃 I said。 〃You observed my smile。 You remember we
had a little wager。 Don't bother to unlace me first。 Just give the
Bull Durham and cigarette papers to Morrell and Oppenheimer。 And
for full measure here's another smile。〃
〃Oh； I know your kind； Standing；〃 the Warden lectured。 〃But it
won't get you anything。 If I don't break you； you'll break all
strait…jacket records。〃
〃He's broken them already；〃 Doctor Jackson said。 〃Who ever heard of
a man smiling after ten days of it？〃
〃Well and bluff；〃 Warden Atherton answered。 〃Unlace him； Hutchins。〃
〃Why such haste？〃 I queried； in a whisper； of course； for so low had
life ebbed in me that it required all the little strength I
possessed and all the will of me to be able to whisper even。 〃Why
such haste？ I don't have to catch a train； and I am so confounded
comfortable as I am that I prefer not to be disturbed。〃
But unlace me they did； rolling me out of the fetid jacket and upon
the floor； an inert； helpless thing。
〃No wonder he was comfortable；〃 said Captain Jamie。 〃He didn't feel
anything。 He's paralysed。〃
〃Paralysed your grandmother；〃 sneered the Warden。 〃Get him up on
his feat and you'll see him stand。〃
Hutchins and the doctor dragged me to my feet。
〃Now let go！〃 the Warden commanded。
Not all at once could life return into the body that had been
practically dead for ten days； and as a result； with no power as yet
over my flesh； I gave at the knees； crumpled； pitched sidewise； and
gashed my forehead against the wall。
〃You see；〃 said Captain Jamie。
〃Good acting；〃 retorted the Warden。 〃That man's got nerve to do
anything。〃
〃You're right； Warden；〃 I whispered from the floor。 〃I did it on
purpose。 It was a stage fall。 Lift me up again； and I'll repeat
it。 I promise you lots of fun。〃
I shall not dwell upon the agony of returning circulation。 It was
to become an old story with me； and it bore its share in cutting the
lines in my face that I shall carry to the scaffold。
When they finally left me I lay for the rest of the day stupid and
half…comatose。 There is such a thing as anaesthesia of pain；
engendered by pain too exquisite to be borne。 And I have known that
anaesthesia。
By evening I was able to crawl a