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have seen myself that one man contemplated by Pascal's philosophic
eye。 Oh; I have a tale; most true; most wonderful; most real to me;
although I doubt that I have wit to tell it; and that you; my
reader; have wit to perceive it when told。 I say that I have seen
myself that one man hinted at by Pascal。 I have lain in the long
trances of the jacket and glimpsed myself a thousand living men
living the thousand lives that are themselves the history of the
human man climbing upward through the ages。
Ah; what royal memories are mine; as I flutter through the aeons of
the long ago。 In single jacket trances I have lived the many lives
involved in the thousand…years…long Odysseys of the early drifts of
men。 Heavens; before I was of the flaxen…haired Aesir; who dwelt in
Asgard; and before I was of the red…haired Vanir; who dwelt in
Vanaheim; long before those times I have memories (living memories)
of earlier drifts; when; like thistledown before the breeze; we
drifted south before the face of the descending polar ice…cap。
I have died of frost and famine; fight and flood。 I have picked
berries on the bleak backbone of the world; and I have dug roots to
eat from the fat…soiled fens and meadows。 I have scratched the
reindeer's semblance and the semblance of the hairy mammoth on ivory
tusks gotten of the chase and on the rock walls of cave shelters
when the winter storms moaned outside。 I have cracked marrow…bones
on the sites of kingly cities that had perished centuries before my
time or that were destined to be builded centuries after my passing。
And I have left the bones of my transient carcasses in pond bottoms;
and glacial gravels; and asphaltum lakes。
I have lived through the ages known to…day among the scientists as
the Paleolithic; the Neolithic; and the Bronze。 I remember when
with our domesticated wolves we herded our reindeer to pasture on
the north shore of the Mediterranean where now are France and Italy
and Spain。 This was before the ice…sheet melted backward toward the
pole。 Many processions of the equinoxes have I lived through and
died in; my reader 。 。 。 only that I remember and that you do not。
I have been a Son of the Plough; a Son of the Fish; a Son of the
Tree。 All religions from the beginnings of man's religious time
abide in me。 And when the Dominie; in the chapel; here in Folsom of
a Sunday; worships God in his own good modern way; I know that in
him; the Dominie; still abide the worships of the Plough; the Fish;
the Treeay; and also all worships of Astarte and the Night。
I have been an Aryan master in old Egypt; when my soldiers scrawled
obscenities on the carven tombs of kings dead and gone and forgotten
aforetime。 And I; the Aryan master in old Egypt; have myself
builded my two burial placesthe one a false and mighty pyramid to
which a generation of slaves could attest; the other humble; meagre;
secret; rock…hewn in a desert valley by slaves who died immediately
their work was done。 。 。 。 And I wonder me here in Folsom; while
democracy dreams its enchantments o'er the twentieth century world;
whether there; in the rock…hewn crypt of that secret; desert valley;
the bones still abide that once were mine and that stiffened my
animated body when I was an Aryan master high…stomached to command。
And on the great drift; southward and eastward under the burning sun
that perished all descendants of the houses of Asgard and Vanaheim;
I have been a king in Ceylon; a builder of Aryan monuments under
Aryan kings in old Java and old Sumatra。 And I have died a hundred
deaths on the great South Sea drift ere ever the rebirth of me came
to plant monuments; that only Aryans plant; on volcanic tropic
islands that I; Darrell Standing; cannot name; being too little
versed to…day in that far sea geography。
If only I were articulate to paint in the frail medium of words what
I see and know and possess incorporated in my consciousness of the
mighty driftage of the races in the times before our present written
history began! Yes; we had our history even then。 Our old men; our
priests; our wise ones; told our history into tales and wrote those
tales in the stars so that our seed after us should not forget。
From the sky came the life…giving rain and the sunlight。 And we
studied the sky; learned from the stars to calculate time and
apportion the seasons; and we named the stars after our heroes and
our foods and our devices for getting food; and after our
wanderings; and drifts; and adventures; and after our functions and
our furies of impulse and desire。
And; alas! we thought the heavens unchanging on which we wrote all
our humble yearnings and all the humble things we did or dreamed of
doing。 When I was a Son of the Bull; I remember me a lifetime I
spent at star…gazing。 And; later and earlier; there were other
lives in which I sang with the priests and bards the taboo…songs of
the stars wherein we believed was written our imperishable record。
And here; at the end of it all; I pore over books of astronomy from
the prison library; such as they allow condemned men to read; and
learn that even the heavens are passing fluxes; vexed with star…
driftage as the earth is by the drifts of men。
Equipped with this modern knowledge; I have; returning through the
little death from my earlier lives; been able to compare the heavens
then and now。 And the stars do change。 I have seen pole stars and
pole stars and dynasties of pole stars。 The pole star to…day is in
Ursa Minor。 Yet; in those far days I have seen the pole star in
Draco; in Hercules; in Vega; in Cygnus; and in Cepheus。 No; not
even the stars abide; and yet the memory and the knowledge of them
abides in me; in the spirit of me that is memory and that is
eternal。 Only spirit abides。 All else; being mere matter; passes;
and must pass。
Oh; I do see myself to…day that one man who appeared in the elder
world; blonde; ferocious; a killer and a lover; a meat…eater and a
root…digger; a gypsy and a robber; who; club in hand; through
millenniums of years wandered the world around seeking meat to
devour and sheltered nests for his younglings and sucklings。
I am that man; the sum of him; the all of him; the hairless biped
who struggled upward from the slime and created love and law out of
the anarchy of fecund life that screamed and squalled in the jungle。
I am all that that man was and did become。 I see myself; through
the painful generations; snaring and killing the game and the fish;
clearing the first fields from the forest; making rude tools of
stone and bone; building houses of wood; thatching the roofs with
leaves and straw; domesticating the wild grasses and meadow…roots;
fathering them to become the progenitors of rice and millet and
wheat and barley and all manner of succulent edibles; learning to
scratch the soil; to sow; to reap; to store; beating out the fibres
of plants to spin into thread and to weave into