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once accepted； 〃for it is only men like you who can both soaringly
conceive and immediately concrete in action； and； what is more； there
will be no fear of your tiring of this job and taking up another； for you
will be IT； and one cannot change oneself。〃
The gentleman looked at Mr。 Lavender very suddenly at the words 〃tiring
of this job；〃 and transferred his gaze to the Secretary； who had bent his
face down to his papers； and was smothering a snigger with his hand。
〃Who are you； sir？〃 he said sharply。
〃Merely one；〃 returned Mr。 Lavender； 〃who wishes to do all in his power
to forward a project so fraught with beneficence to all mankind。 I count
myself fortunate beyond measure to have come here this morning and found
the very Heart of the matter； the grain of mustard…seed。〃
The gentleman； who had begun to walk again； here muttered words which
would have sounded like 〃Damned impudence〃 if Mr。 Lavender had not been
too utterly carried away by his idea to hear them。
〃I shall go forth at once；〃 he said； 〃and make known the good tidings
that the fields are sown； the League formed。 Henceforth there are no
barriers between nations； and the reign of perpetual Peace is assured。
It is colossal。〃
The gentleman abruptly raised his boot； but； seeming to think better of
it； lowered it again； and turned away to the window。
Mr。 Lavender； having bowed to his back； went out； and； urged on by his
enthusiasm； directed his steps at once towards Trafalgar Square。
Arriving at this hub of the universe he saw that Chance was on his side；
for a meeting was already in progress； and a crowd of some forty persons
assembled round one of the lions。 Owing to his appearance Mr。 Lavender
was able without opposition to climb up on the plinth and join the
speaker； a woman of uncertain years。 He stood there awaiting his turn
and preparing his oration； while she continued her discourse； which
seemed to be a protest against any interference with British control of
the freedom of the seas。 A Union Jack happened to be leaning against the
monument； and when she had at last finished； Mr。 Lavender seized it and
came forward to the edge。
〃Great tidings！〃 he said at once； waving the flag； and without more ado
plunged into an oration； which； so far as it went； must certainly
be ranked among his masterpieces。 〃Great tidings； Friends！ I have
planted the grain of mustard seed or； in common parlance； have just come
from the meeting which has incepted the League of Nations； and it will be
my task this morning briefly to make known to you the principles which in
future must dominate the policy of the world。 Since it is for the closer
brotherhood of man and the reign of perpetual peace that we are
struggling； we must first secure the annihilation of our common enemies。
Those members of the human race whose infamies have largely placed them
beyond the pale must be eliminated once for all。〃
Loud cheers greeted this utterance； and stimulated by the sound Mr。
Lavender proceeded： 〃 What； however； must the civilized nations do when
at last they have clean sheets？ In the first place； all petty prejudices
and provincial aspirations must be set aside； and though the world must
be firmly founded upon the principle of nationality it must also act as
one great people。 This； my fellow…countrymen； is no mere contradiction
in terms； for though in their new solidarities each nation will be
prouder of itself； and more jealous of its good name and independence
than ever； that will not prevent its' sacrificing its inalienable rights
for the good of the whole human nation of which it is a member。 Friends；
let me give you a simple illustration； which in a nutshell will make the
whole thing clear。 We； here in Britain； are justly proud and tenacious
of our sea powerin the words of the poet； 'We hold all the gates of the
water。' Now it is abundantly and convincingly plain that this reinforced
principle of nationality bids us to retain and increase them； while
internationalism bids us givethem up。〃
His audiencewhich had hitherto listened with open mouths； here closed
them； and a strident voice exclaimed：
〃Give it a name； gov'nor。 D'you say we ought to give up Gib？
This word pierced Mr。 Lavender； standing where he was； to the very
marrow； and he fell into such confusion of spirit that his words became
inaudible。
〃My God！〃 he thought； appalled； 〃is it possible that I have not got to
the bottom of this question？〃 And； turning his back on the audience； he
gazed in a sort of agony at the figure of Nelson towering into the sky
above him。 He was about to cry out piteously： 〃Countrymen； I know not
what I think。 Oh！ I am unhappy！〃 when he inadvertently stepped back
over the edge of the plinth； and； still entangled in the flag； was picked
up by two policemen and placed in a dazed condition and a deserted spot
opposite the National Gallery。
It was while he was standing there； encircled by； pigeons and forgotten
by his fellow man； that there came to him a spiritual revelation。
〃Strange！〃 he thought； 〃I notice a certain inconsistency in myself； and
even in my utterances。 I am two men； one of whom is me and one not me；
and the one which is not me is the one which causes me to fall into the
arms of policemen and other troubles。 The one which is me loves these
pigeons； and desires to live quietly with my dog； not considering public
affairs； which； indeed； seem to be suited to persons of another sort。
Whence； then； comes the one which is not me？ Can it be that it is
derived from the sayings and writings of others； and is but a spurious
spirit only meet to be outcast？ Do I； to speak in the vernacular； care
any buttons whether we stick to Gibraltar or not so long as men do but
live in kindness？ And if that is so； have I the right to say I do？
Ought I not； rather； to be true to my private self and leave the course
of public affairs to those who have louder voices and no private selves？〃
The thought was extremely painful； for it seemed to disclose to him grave
inconsistency in the recent management of his life。 And； thoroughly
mortified； he turned round with a view of entering the National Gallery
and soothing his spirit with art； when he was arrested by the placard
which covered it announcing which town had taken which sum of bonds。
This lighted up such a new vista of public utility that his brain would
certainly have caught fire again if one of the policemen who had
conducted him across the Square had not touched him on the arm； and said：
〃How are you now； sir？〃
〃I am pretty well； thank you； policeman；〃 replied Mr。 Lavender； 〃and
sorry that I occasioned so much disturbance。〃
〃Don't mention it； sir；〃 answered the policeman； 〃you came a nasty
crump。〃
〃Tell me；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； suddenly looking up into his face； 〃do you
consider that a man is justified in living a private life？ For； as
regards my future； it is largely on y