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are enemies for life。
I am not suspected； as Eunice is； of making appointments with a
sweetheart。 So I am free to go out alone； and to go where I
please。 Philip and I were punctual to our appointment this
afternoon。
Our place of meeting was in a secluded corner of the town park。
We found a rustic seat in our retirement； set up （one would
suppose） as a concession to the taste of visitors who are fond of
solitude。 The view in front of us was bounded by the park wall
and railings； and our seat was prettily approached on one side by
a plantation of young trees。 No entrance gate was near； no
carriage road crossed the grass。 A more safe and more solitary
nook for conversation； between two persons desiring to be alone；
it would be hard to find in most public parks。 Lovers are said to
know it well； and to be especially fon d of it toward evening。 We
were there in broad daylight； and we had the seat to ourselves。
My memory of what passed between us is； in some degree； disturbed
by the formidable interruption which brought our talk to an end。
But among other things； I remember that I showed him no mercy at
the outset。 At one time I was indignant； at another I was
scornful。 I declared； in regard to my object in meeting him； that
I had changed my mind； And had decided to shorten a disagreeable
interview by waiving my right to an explanation； and bidding him
farewell。 Eunice； as I pointed out； had the first claim to him；
Eunice was much more likely to suit him； as a companion for life；
than I was。 〃In short；〃 I said； in conclusion； 〃my inclination
for once takes sides with my duty； and leaves my sister in
undisturbed possession of young Mr。 Dunboyne。〃 With this
satirical explanation； I rose to say good…by。
I had merely intended to irritate him。 He showed a superiority to
anger for which I was not prepared。
〃Be so kind as to sit down again；〃 he said quietly。
He took my letter from his pocket； and pointed to that part of it
which alluded to his conduct； when we had met in my father 's
study。
〃You have offered me the opportunity of saying a word in my own
defense；〃 he went on。 〃I prize that privilege far too highly to
consent to your withdrawing it； merely because you have changed
your mind。 Let me at least tell you what my errand was； when I
called on your father。 Loving you； and you only； I had forced
myself to make a last effort to be true to your sister。 Remember
that； Helena； and then sayis it wonderful if I was beside
myself； when I found You in the study？〃
〃When you tell me you were beside yourself；〃 I said； 〃do you
mean； ashamed of yourself？〃
That touched him。 〃I mean nothing of the kind；〃 he burst out。
〃After the hell on earth in which I have been living between you
two sisters； a man hasn't virtue enough left in him to be
ashamed。 He's half madthat's what he is。 Look at my position！ I
had made up my mind never to see you again； I had made up my mind
（if I married Eunice） to rid myself of my own miserable life when
I could endure it no longer。 In that state of feeling； when my
sense of duty depended on my speaking with Mr。 Gracedieu alone；
whose was the first face I saw when I entered the room？ If I had
dared to look at you； or to speak to you； what do you think would
have become of my resolution to sacrifice myself？〃
〃What has become of it now？〃 I asked。
〃Tell me first if I am forgiven；〃 he said 〃and you shall know。〃
〃Do you deserve to be forgiven？〃
It has been discovered by wiser heads than mine that weak people
are always in extremes。 So far； I had seen Philip in the vain and
violent extreme。 He now shifted suddenly to the sad and
submissive extreme。 When I asked him if he deserved to be
forgiven； he made the humblest of all replieshe sighed and said
nothing。
〃If I did my duty to my sister；〃 I reminded him； 〃I should refuse
to forgive you； and send you back to Eunice。〃
〃Your father's language and your father's conduct；〃 he answered；
〃have released me from that entanglement。 I can never go back to
Eunice。 If you refuse to forgive me； neither you nor she will see
anything more of Philip Dunboyne； I promise you that。 Are you
satisfied now？〃
After holding out against him resolutely； I felt myself beginning
to yield。 When a man has once taken their fancy； what helplessly
weak creatures women are！ I saw through his vacillating
weaknessand yet I trusted him； with both eyes open。 My
looking…glass is opposite to me while I write。 It shows me a
contemptible Helena。 I lied； and said I was satisfiedto please
_him。_
〃Am I forgiven？〃 he asked。
It is absurd to put it on record。 Of course； I forgave him。 What
a good Christian I am； after all！
He took my willing hand。 〃My lovely darling；〃 he said； 〃our
marriage rests with you。 Whether your father approves of it or
not； say the word； claim me； and I am yours for life。〃
I must have been infatuated by his voice and his look； my heart
must have been burning under the pressure of his hand on mine。
Was it my modesty or my self…control that deserted me？ I let him
take me in his arms。 Again； and again； and again I kissed him。 We
were deaf to what we ought to have heard； we were blind to what
we ought to have seen。 Before we were conscious of a movement
among the trees； we were discovered。 My sister flew at me like a
wild animal。 Her furious hands fastened themselves on my throat。
Philip started to his feet。 When he touched her； in the act of
forcing her back from me； Eunice's raging strength became utter
weakness in an instant。 Her arms fell helpless at her sidesher
head droopedshe looked at him in silence which was dreadful； at
such a moment as that。 He shrank from the unendurable reproach in
those tearless eyes。 Meanly； he turned away from her。 Meanly； I
followed him。 Looking back for an instant； I saw her step
forward； perhaps to stop him； perhaps to speak to him。 The effort
was too much for her strength； she staggered back against the
trunk of a tree。 Like strangers； walking separate one from the
other； we left her to her companionthe hideous traitress who
was my enemy and her friend。
CHAPTER XXIX。
HELENA'S DIARY。
ON reaching the street which led to Philip's hotel； we spoke to
each other for the first time。
〃What are we to do？〃 I said。
〃Leave this place；〃 he answered。
〃Together？〃 I asked。
〃Yes。〃
To leave us （for a while）； after what had happened； might be the
wisest thing which a man； in Philip's critical position； could
do。 But if I went with himunprovided as I was with any friend
of my own sex； whose character and presence might sanction the
step I had takenI should be lost beyond redemption。 Is any man
that ever lived worth that sacrifice？ I thought of my father's
house closed to me； and of our friends ashamed of me。 I have
owned； in some earlier part of my Journal； that I am not very
patient under domestic cares。 But the possibility of Eunice being
appointed housekeeper； with my power； in my place； was more than
I could calmly contemplate。 〃No；〃 I said to Philip。 〃Your
absence； at such a time as this； may help us both； but； come what
may of it； I must remain at home。〃
He yielded； without an attempt to make me alt