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CHAPTER XXXVI。
THE WANDERING MIND。
FOR the moment; the Minister disappointed me。
Without speaking; without even looking up; he took out his
pocketbook; and began to write in it。 Constantly interrupted
either by a trembling in the hand that held the pencil; or by a
difficulty (as I imagined) in expressing thoughts imperfectly
realizedhis patience gave way; he dashed the book on the floor。
〃My mind is gone!〃 he burst out。 〃Oh; Father in Heaven; let death
deliver me from a body without a mind!〃
Who could hear him; and be guilty of the cruelty of preaching
self…control? I picked up the pocketbook; and offered to help
him。
〃Do you think you can?〃 he asked。
〃I can at least try。〃
〃Good fellow! What should I do without you? See now; here is my
difficulty。 I have got so many things to say; I want to separate
themor else they will all run into each other。 Look at the
book;〃 my poor friend said mournfully; 〃they have run into each
other in spite of me。〃
The entries proved to be nearly incomprehensible。 Here and there
I discovered some scattered words; which showed themselves more
or less distinctly in the midst of the surrounding confusion。 The
first word that I could make out was 〃Education。〃 Helped by that
hint; I trusted to guess…work to guide me in speaking to him。 It
was necessary to be positive; or he would have lost all faith in
me。
〃Well?〃 he said impatiently。
〃Well;〃 I answered; 〃you have something to say to me about the
education which you have given to your daughters。〃
〃Don't put them together!〃 he cried。 〃Dear; patient; sweet Eunice
must not be confounded with that she…devil〃
〃Hush; hush; Mr。 Gracedieu! Badly as Miss Helena has behaved; she
is your own child。〃
〃I repudiate her; sir! Think for a moment of what she has
doneand then think of the religious education that I have given
her。 Heartless! Deceitful! The most ignorant creature in the
lowest dens of this town could have done nothing more basely
cruel。 And this; after years on years of patient Christian
instruction on my part! What is religion? What is education? I
read a horrible book once (I forget who was the author); it
called religion superstition; and education empty form。 I don't
know; upon my word I don't know that the book may notOh; my
tongue! Why don't I keep a guard over my tongue? Are you a
father; too? Don't interrupt me。 Put yourself in my place; and
think of it。 Heartless; deceitful; and _my_ daughter。 Give me the
pocketbook; I want to see which memorandum comes first。〃
He had now wrought himself into a state of excitement; which
relieved his spirits of the depression that had weighed on them
up to this time。 His harmless vanity; always; as I suspect; a
latent quality in his kindly nature; had already restored his
confidence。 With a self…sufficient smile he consulted his own
unintelligible entries; and made his own wild discoveries。
〃Ah; yes; 'M' stands for Minister; I come first。 Am I to blame?
Am IGod forgive me my many sinsam I heartless? Am I
deceitful?〃
〃My good friend; not even your enemies could say that!〃
〃Thank you。 Who comes next?〃 He consulted the book again。 〃Her
mother; her sainted mother; comes next。 People say she is like
her mother。 Was my wife heartless? Was the angel of my life
deceitful?〃
(〃That;〃 I thought to myself; 〃is exactly what your wife wasand
exactly what reappears in your wife's child。〃)
〃Where does her wickedness come from?〃 he went on。 〃Not from her
mother; not from me; not from a neglected education。〃 He suddenly
stepped up to me and laid his hands on my shoulders; his voice
dropped to hoarse; moaning; awestruck tones。 〃Shall I tell you
what it is? A possession of the devil。〃
It was so evidently desirable to prevent any continuation of such
a train of thought as this; that I could feel no hesitation in
interrupting him。
〃Will you hear what I have to say?〃 I asked bluntly。
His humor changed again; he made me a low bow; and went back to
his chair。 〃I will hear you with pleasure;〃 he answered politely。
〃You are the most eloquent man I know; with one
exceptionmyself。 Of coursemyself。〃
〃It is mere waste of time;〃 I continued; 〃to regret the excellent
education which your daughter has misused。〃 Making that reply; I
was tempted to add another word of truth。 All education is at the
mercy of two powerful counter…influences: the influence of
temperament; and the influence of circumstances。 But this was
philosophy。 How could I expect him to submit to philosophy? 〃What
we know of Miss Helena;〃 I went on; 〃must be enough for us。 She
has plotted; and she means to succeed。 Stop her。〃
〃Just my idea!〃 he declared firmly。 〃I refuse my consent to that
abominable marriage。〃
In the popular phrase; I struck while the iron was hot。 〃You must
do more than that; sir;〃 I told him。
His vanity suddenly took the alarmI was leading him rather too
undisguisedly。 He handed his book back to me。 〃You will find;〃 he
said loftily; 〃that I have put it all down there。〃
I pretended to find it; and read an imaginary entry to this
effect: 〃After what she has already done; Helena is capable of
marrying in defiance of my wishes and commands。 This must be
considered and provided against。〃 So far; I had succeeded in
flattering him。 But when (thinking of his paternal authority) I
alluded next to his daughter's age; his eyes rested on me with a
look of downright terror。
〃No more of that!〃 he said。 〃I won't talk of the girls' ages even
with you。〃
What did he mean? It was useless to ask。 I went on with the
matter in handstill deliberately speaking to him; as I might
have spoken to a man with an intellect as clear as my own。 In my
experience; this practice generally stimulates a weak
intelligence to do its best。 We all know how children receive
talk that is lowered; or books that are lowered; to their
presumed level。
〃I shall take it for granted;〃 I continued; 〃that Miss Helena is
still under your lawful authority。 She can only arrive at her
ends by means of a runaway marriage。 In that case; much depends
on the man。 You told me you couldn't help liking him。 This was;
of course; before you knew of the infamous manner in which he has
behaved。 You must have changed your opinion now。〃
He seemed to be at a loss how to reply。 〃I am afraid;〃 he said;
〃the young man was drawn into it by Helena。〃
Here was Miss Jillgall's apology for Philip Dunboyne repeated in
other words。 Despising and detesting the fellow as I did; I was
forced to admit to myself that he must be recommended by personal
attractions which it would be necessary to reckon with。 I tried
to get s ome more information from Mr。 Gracedieu。
〃The excuse you have just made for him;〃 I resumed; 〃implies that
he is a weak man; easily persuaded; easily led。〃
The Minister answered by nodding his head。
〃Such weakness as that;〃 I persisted; 〃is a vice in itself。 It
has led already; sir; to the saddest results。〃
He admitted this by another nod。
〃I don't wish to shock you; Mr。 Gracedieu; but I must recommend
employing the means that present themselves。 You must practice on
this man's weakness; for the sake of the good that may come o