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guilty woman。 The servant was sent away; and the husband and wife
separated soon afterward; under the excuse of incompatibility of
temper。 Years passed; and the truth was only discovered by the
death…bed confession of the wife。 A remarkable story; which has
made such an impression on me that I have written it in my
Journal。 I am not rich enough to buy the book。
For the last two days; I have been confined to my room with a bad
feverish coldcaught; as I suppose; by sitting at an open window
reading my book till nearly three o'clock in the morning。 I sent
a note to Philip; telling him of my illness。 On the first day; he
called to inquire after me。 On the second day; no visit; and no
letter。 Here is the third dayand no news of him as yet。 I am
better; but not fit to go out。 Let me wait another hour; and; if
that exertion of patience meets with no reward; I shall send a
note to the hotel。
No news of Philip。 I have sent to the hotel。 The servant has just
returned; bringing me back my note。 The waiter informed her that
Mr。 Dunboyne had gone away to London by the morning train。 No
apology or explanation left for me。
_Can_ he have deserted me? I am in such a frenzy of doubt and
rage that I can hardly write that horrible question。 Is it
possibleoh; I feel it _is_ possible that he has gone away with
Eunice。 Do I know where to find them? if I did know; what could I
do? I feel as if I could kill them both!
CHAPTER LIII。
HELENA'S DIARY RESUMED。
AFTER the heat of my anger had cooled; I made two discoveries。
One cost me a fee to a messenger; and the other exposed me to the
insolence of a servant。 I pay willingly in my purse and my pride;
when the gain is peace of mind。 Through my messenger I
ascertained that Eunice had never left the farm。 Through my own
inquiries; answered by the waiter with an impudent grin; I heard
that Philip had left orders to have his room kept for him。 What
misery our stupid housemaid might have spared me; if she had
thought of putting that question when I sent her to the hotel!
The rest of the day passed in vain speculations on Philip's
motive for this sudden departure。 What poor weak creatures we
are! I persuaded myself to hope that anxiety for our marriage had
urged him to make an effort to touch the heart of his mean
father。 Shall I see him to…morrow? And shall I have reason to be
fonder of him than ever?
We met again to…day as usual。 He has behaved infamously。
When I asked what had been his object in going to London; I was
told that it was 〃a matter of business。〃 He made that idiotic
excuse as coolly as if he really thought I should believe it。 I
submitted in silence; rather than mar his return to me by the
disaster of a quarrel。 But this was an unlucky day。 A harder
trial of my self…control was still to come。 Without the slightest
appearance of shame; Philip informed me that he was charged with
a message from Mrs。 Tenbruggen! She wanted some Irish lace; and
would I be so good as to tell her which was the best shop at
which she could buy it?
Was he really in earnest? 〃You;〃 I said; 〃who distrusted and
detested heryou are on friendly terms with that woman?〃
He remonstrated with me。 〃My dear Helena; don't speak in that way
of Mrs。 Tenbruggen。 We have both been mistaken about her。 That
good creature has forgiven the brutal manner in which I spoke to
her; when she was in attendance on my father。 She was the first
to propose that we should shake hands and forget it。 My darling;
don't let all the good feeling be on one side。 You have no idea
how kindly she speaks of you; and how anxious she is to help us
to be married。 Come! come! meet her half…way。 Write down the name
of the shop on my card; and I will take it back to her。〃
Sheer amazement kept me silent: I let him go on。 He was a mere
child in the hands of Mrs。 Tenbruggen: she had only to determine
to make a fool of him; and she could do it。
But why did she
do it? What advantage had she to gain by insinuating herself in
this way into his good opinion; evidently with the intention of
urging him to reconcile us to each other? How could we two poor
young people be of the smallest use to the fashionable Masseuse?
My silence began to irritate Philip。 〃I never knew before how
obstinate you could be;〃 he said; 〃you seem to be doing your
bestI can't imagine whyto lower yourself in my estimation。〃
I held my tongue; I assumed my smile。 It is all very well for men
to talk about the deceitfulness of women。 What chance (I should
like to ask somebody who knows about it) do the men give us of
making our lives with them endurable; except by deceit! I gave
way; of course; and wrote down the address of the shop。
He was so pleased that he kissed me。 Yes! the most fondly
affectionate kiss that he had given me; for weeks past; was my
reward for submitting to Mrs。 Tenbruggen。 She is old enough to be
his mother; and almost as ugly as Miss Jillgalland she has made
her interests his interests already!
On the next day; I fully expected to receive a visit from Mrs。
Tenbruggen。 She knew better than that。 I only got a polite little
note; thanking me for the address; and adding an artless
concession: 〃I earn more money than I know what to do with; and I
adore Irish lace。〃
The next day came; and still she was careful not to show herself
too eager for a personal reconciliation。 A splendid nosegay was
sent to me; with another little note: 〃A tribute; dear Helena;
offered by one of my grateful patients。 Too beautiful a present
for an old woman like me。 I agree with the poet: 'Sweets to the
sweet。' A charming thought of Shakespeare's; is it not? I should
like to verify the quotation。 Would you mind leaving the volume
for me in the hall; if I call to…morrow?〃
Well done; Mrs。 Tenbruggen! She doesn't venture to intrude on
Miss Gracedieu in the drawing…room; she only wants to verify a
quotation in the hall。 Oh; goddess of Humility (if there is such
a person); how becomingly you are dressed when your milliner is
an artful old woman!
While this reflection was passing through my mind; Miss Jillgall
came insaw the nosegay on the tableand instantly pounced on
it。 〃Oh; for me! for me!〃 she cried。 〃I noticed it this morning
on Elizabeth's table。 How very kind of her!〃 She plunged her
inquisitive nose into the poor flowers; and looked up
sentimentally at the ceiling。 〃The perfume of goodness;〃 she
remarked; 〃mingled with the perfume of flowers!〃 〃When you have
quite done with it;〃 I said; 〃perhaps you will be so good as to
return my nosegay?〃 〃_Your_ nosegay!〃 she exclaimed。 〃There is
Mrs。 Tenbruggen's letter;〃 I replied; 〃if you would like to look
at it。〃 She did look at it。 All the bile in her body flew up into
her eyes; and turned them green; she looked as if she longed to
scratch my face。 I gave the flowers afterward to Maria; Miss
Jillgall's nose had completely spoiled them。
It would have been too ridiculous to have allowed Mrs。 Tenbruggen
to consult Shakespeare in the hall。 I had the honor of receiving
her in my own room。 We accomplished a touching reconciliation;
and we quite forgot Shakespeare。
She troubles me; she does indeed trouble me。