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inconvenient； but genuine zeal。
But if the clergyman did in the Duke's case what be would
NOT do in Smith's； if be has no more acquaintance with
the Coeurdelion family than I have with the Royal and
Serene House of Saxe…Coburg Gotha；THEN； I confess； my
dear Snobling； your question might elicit a disagreeable
reply； and one which I respectfully decline to give。 I
wonder what Sir George Tufto would say； if a sentry left
his post because a noble lord （not the least connected
with the service） begged the sentinel not to do his duty！
Alas！ that the beadle who canes little boys and drives
them out； cannot drive worldliness out too； what is
worldliness but snobbishness？ When； for instance； I read
in the newspapers that the Right Reverend the Lord
Charles James administered the rite of confirmation to a
PARTY OF THE JUVENILE NOBILITY at the Chapel Royal；as
if the Chapel Royal were a sort of ecclesiastical
Almack's； and young people were to get ready for the next
world in little exclusive genteel knots of the
aristocracy； who were not to be disturbed in their
journey thither by the company of the vulgar：when I
read such a paragraph as that （and one or two such
generally appear during the present fashionable season）；
it seems to me to be the most odious； mean and disgusting
part of that odious； mean； and disgusting publication；
the COURT CIRCULAR； and that snobbishness is therein
carried to quite an awful pitch。 What； gentlemen； can't
we even in the Church acknowledge a republic？ There； at
least； the Heralds' College itself might allow that we
all of us have the same pedigree； and are direct
descendants of Eve and Adam； whose inheritance is divided
amongst us。
I hereby call upon all Dukes； Earls； Baronets； and other
potentates； not to lend themselves to this shameful
scandal and error； and beseech all Bishops who read this
publication to take the matter into consideration； and to
protest against the continuance of the practice； and to
declare； 'We WON'T confirm or christen Lord Tomnoddy； or
Sir Carnaby Jenks； to the exclusion of any other young
Christian；' the which declaration if their Lordships are
induced to make； a great LAPIS OFFENSIONIS will be
removed； and the Snob Papers will not have been written
in vain。
A story is current of a celebrated NOUVEAU…RICHE； who
having had occasion to oblige that excellent prelate the
Bishop of Bullocksmithy； asked his Lordship； in return；
to confirm his children privately in his Lordship's own
chapel； which ceremony the grateful prelate accordingly
performed。 Can satire go farther than this？ Is there
even in this most amusing of prints； any more NAIVE
absurdity？ It is as if a man wouldn't go to heaven
unless he went in a special train； or as if he thought
（as some people think about vaccination） Confirmation
more effectual when administered at first hand。 When
that eminent person； the Begum Sumroo； died； it is said
she left ten thousand pounds to the Pope； and ten
thousand to the Archbishop of Canterbury；so that there
should be no mistake；so as to make sure of having the
ecclesiastical authorities on her side。 This is only a
little more openly and undisguisedly snobbish than the
cases before alluded to。 A well…bred Snob is just as
secretly proud of his riches and honours as a PARVENU
Snob who makes the most ludicrous exhibition of them； and
a high…born Marchioness or Duchess just as vain of
herself and her diamonds； as Queen Quashyboo； who sews a
pair of epaulets on to her skirt； and turns out in state
in a cocked hat and feathers。
It is not out of disrespect to my 'Peerage；' which I love
and honour； （indeed； have I not said before； that I
should be ready to jump out of my skin if two Dukes would
walk down Pall Mall with me？）it is not out of
disrespect for the individuals； that I wish these titles
had never been invented； but； consider； if there were no
tree； there would be no shadow； and how much more honest
society would be； and how much more serviceable the
clergy would be （which is our present consideration）； if
these temptations of rank and continual baits of
worldliness were not in existence； and perpetually thrown
out to lead them astray。
I have seen many examples of their falling away。 When；
for instance； Tom Sniffle first went into the country as
Curate for Mr。 Fuddleston （Sir Huddleston Fuddleston's
brother）； who resided on some other living； there could
not be a more kind； hardworking； and excellent creature
than Tom。 He had his aunt to live with him。 His conduct
to his poor was admirable。 He wrote annually reams of
the best…intentioned and vapid sermons。 When Lord
Brandyball's family came down into the country； and
invited him to dine at Brandyball Park； Sniffle was so
agitated that he almost forgot how to say grace； and
upset a bowl of currant…jelly sauce in Lady Fanny
Toffy's lap。
What was the consequence of his intimacy with that noble
family？ He quarrelled with his aunt for dining out every
night。 The wretch forgot his poor altogether； and killed
his old nag by always riding over to Brandyball； where he
revelled in the maddest passion for Lady Fanny。 He
ordered the neatest new clothes and ecclesiastical
waistcoats from London； he appeared with corazza…shirts；
lackered boots； and perfumery； he bought a blood…horse
from Bob Toffy： was seen at archery meetings； public
breakfasts；actually at cover； and； I blush to say； that
I saw him in a stall at the Opera； and afterwards riding
by Lady Fanny's side in Rotten Row。 He DOUBLE…BARRELLED
his name； （as many poor Snobs do；） and instead of T。
Sniffle； as formerly； came out； in a porcelain card； as
Rev。 T。 D'Arcy Sniffle； Burlington Hotel。
The end of all this may be imagined： when the Earl of
Brandyball was made acquainted with the curate's love for
Lady Fanny； he had that fit of the gout which so nearly
carried him off （to the inexpressible grief of his son；
Lord Alicompayne）； and uttered that remarkable speech to
Sniffle； which disposed of the claims of the latter：'
If I didn't respect the Church； Sir；' his Lordship said；
'by Jove； I'd kick you downstairs：' his Lordship then
fell back into the fit aforesaid； and Lady Fanny； as we
all know； married General Podager。
As for poor Tom； he was over head and ears in debt as
well as in love： his creditors came down upon him。 Mr。
Hemp； of Portugal Street； proclaimed his name lately as a
reverend outlaw； and he has been seen at various foreign
watering…places； sometimes doing duty； sometimes
'coaching' a stray gentleman's son at Carlsruhe or
Kissingen； sometimesmust we say it？ lurking about the
roulette…tables with a tuft to his chin。
If temptation had not come upon this unhappy fellow in
the shape of a Lord Brandyball； he might still have been
following his profession； humbly and worthily。 He might
have married his cousin with four thousand pounds； the
wine…merc