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business； or those lastly who have given themselves body and soul
to sensuality…they all think； I say； that without friendship life is no
life； if they want some part of it； at any rate； to be noble。 For
friendship； in one way or another； penetrates into the lives of us
all； and suffers no career to be entirely free from its influence。
Though a man be of so churlish and unsociable a nature as to
loathe and shun the company of mankind； as we are told was the
case with a certain Timon at Athens； yet even he cannot refrain
from seeking some one in whose hearing he may disgorge the
venom of his bitter temper。 We should see this most clearly； if it
were possible that some god should carry us away from these
haunts of men； and place us some…where in perfect solitude； and
then should supply us in abundance with everything necessary to
our nature； and yet take from us entirely the opportunity of looking
upon a human being。 Who could steel himself to endure such a
life？ Who would not lose in his loneliness the zest for all
pleasures？ And indeed this is the point of the observation of； I
think； Archytas of Tarentum。 I have it third hand； men who were
my seniors told me that their seniors had told them。 It was this： 〃If
a man could ascend to heaven and get a clear view of the natural
order of the universe； and the beauty of the heavenly bodies； that
wonderful spectacle would give him small pleasure； though
nothing could be conceived more delightful if he had but had some
one to whom to tell what he had seen。〃 So true it is that nature
abhors isolation； and ever leans upon some…thing as a stay and
support； and this is found in its most pleasing form in our closest
friend。
24。
But though Nature also declares by so many indications what her
wish and object and desire is； we yet in a manner turn a deaf ear
and will not hear her warnings。 The intercourse between friends is
varied and complex； and it must often happen that causes of
suspicion and offence arise； which a wise man will sometimes
avoid； at other times remove； at others treat with indulgence。 The
one possible cause of offence that must be faced is when the
interests of your friend and your own sincerity are at stake。 For
instance； it often happens that friends need remonstrance and even
reproof。 When these are administered in a kindly spirit they ought
to be taken in good part。 But somehow or other there is truth in
what my friend Terence says in his _Andria_：
Compliance gets us friends； plain speaking hate。
Plain speaking is a cause of trouble； if the result of It is
resentment； which is poison of friendship； but compliance is really
the cause of much more trouble； because by indulging his faults it
lets a friend plunge into headlong ruin。 But the man who is most to
blame is he who resents plain speaking and allows flattery to egg
him on to his ruin。 On this point； then； from first to last there is
need of deliberation and care。 If we remonstrate； it should be
without bitterness； if we reprove； there should be no word of
insult。 In the matter of compliance （for I am glad to adopt
Terence's word）； though there should be every courtesy； yet that
base kind which assists a man in vice should be far from us； for it
is unworthy of a free…born man； to say nothing of a friend。 It is one
thing to live with a tyrant； another with a friend。 But if a man's ears
are so closed to plain speaking that be cannot hear to hear the truth
from a friend； we may give him 〃p in despair。 This remark of
Cato's； as so many of his did； shews great acuteness： 〃There are
people who owe more to bitter enemies than to apparently pleasant
friends： the former often speak the truth； the latter never。〃 Besides；
it is a strange paradox that the recipients of advice should feel no
annoyance where they ought to feel it； and yet feel so much where
they ought not。 They are not at all vexed at having committed a
fault； but very angry at being reproved for it。 On the contrary； they
ought to be grieved at the crime and glad of the correction。
25。 Well； then； if it is true that to give and receive advice
…the former with freedom and yet without bitterness； the latter with
patience and without irritation…is peculiarly appropriate to genuine
friendship； it is no less true that there can be nothing more utterly
subversive of friendship than flattery； adulation； and base
compliance。 I use as many terms as possible to brand this vice of
light…minded； untrustworthy men； whose sole object in speaking is
to please with…out any regard to truth。 In everything false pretence
is bad。 for it suspends and vitiates our power of discerning the
truth。 But to nothing it is so hostile as to friendship； for it destroys
that frankness without which friendship is an empty name。 For the
essence of friendship being that two minds become as one； how
can that ever take place if the mind of each of the separate parties
to it is not single and uniform； but variable； changeable； and
complex？ Can anything be so pliable； so wavering； as the mind of
a man whose attitude depends not only on another's feeling and
wish； but on his very looks and nods？
If one says 〃No；〃 I answer 〃No〃 ； if 〃Yes；〃 I answer 〃Yes。〃
In fine； I've laid this task upon myself
To echo all that's said…
to quote my old friend Terence again。 But he puts these words
into the mouth of a Gnatho。 To admit such a man into one's
intimacy at all is a sign of folly。 But there are many people like
Gnatho； and it is when they are superior either in position or
fortune or reputation that their flatteries become mischievous； the
weight of their position making up for the lightness of their
character。 But if we only take reasonable care； it is as easy to
separate and distinguish a genuine from a specious friend as
anything else that is coloured and artificial from what is sincere
and genuine。 A public assembly； though composed of men of the
smallest possible culture； nevertheless will see clearly the
difference between a mere demagogue （that is； a flatterer and
untrustworthy citizen） and a man of principle； standing； and
solidity。 It was by this kind of flattering language that Gaius
Papirius the other day endeavoured to tickle the ears of the
assembled people； when proposing his law to make the tribunes
re…eligible。 I spoke against it。 But I will leave the personal
question。 I prefer speaking of Scipio。 Good heavens！ how
impressive his speech was； what a majesty there was in it！ You
would have pronounced him； without hesitation； to be no mere
henchman of the Roman people； but their leader。 However； you
were there； and moreover have the speech in your hands。 The
result was that a law meant to please the people was by the
people's votes rejected。 Once more to refer to myself； you
remember how apparently popular was the law proposed by Gaius
Licinius Crassus 〃about the election to the College of Priests〃 in
the consulship of Quintus Maximus； Scipio's brother； and Lucius
Mancinus。 For the power of filling up their own vacancies on the
part of the colleges was by this proposal to be transferred to the
people。 It was this man； by the way； who began the practice o