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as it happens to be groundless…that I find my happiness so much； as
in the hope that the memory of our friendship will be lasting。 What
makes me care the more about this is the fact that in all history
there are scarcely three or four pairs of friends on record； and it is
classed with them that I cherish a hope of the friendship of Scipio
and Laelius being known to posterity。
_Fannius_。 Of course that must be so； Laelius。 But since you have
mentioned the word friendship； and we are at leisure； you would
be doing me a great kindness； and I expect Scaevola also； if you
would do as it is your habit to do when asked questions on other
subjects； and tell us your sentiments about friendship； its nature；
and the rules to be observed in regard to it。
_Scaevola_。 I shall of course be delighted。 Fannius has anticipated
the very request I was about to make。 So you will be doing us both
a great favour。
5。 _Laelius_。 I should ccrtainly have no objection if I felt
confidence in myself。 For the theme is a noble one； and we are （as
Fannius has said） at leisure。 But who am I？ and what ability have
I？ What you propose is all very well for professional philosophers；
who are used； particularly if Greeks； to have the subject for
discussion proposed to them on the spur of the moment。 It is a
task of considerable difficulty； and requires no little practice。
Therefore for a set discourse on friendship you must go； I think； to
professional lecturers。 All I can do is to urge on you to regard
friendship as the greatest thing in the world； for there is nothing
which so fits in with our nature； or is so exactly what we want in
prosperity or adversity。
But I must at the very beginning lay down this principle…
_friendship can only exist between good men_。 I do not； however；
press this too closely； like the philosophers who push their
definitions to a superfluous accuracy。 They have truth on their
side； perhaps； but it is of no practical advantage。 Those； I mean；
who say that no one but the 〃wise〃 is 〃good。〃 Granted； by all
means。 But the 〃wisdom〃 they mean is one to which no mortal
ever yet attained。 We must concern ourselves with the facts of
everyday life as we find it…not imaginary and ideal perfections。
Even Gaius Fannius； Manius Curius； and Tiberius Coruncanius；
whom our ancestors decided to be 〃wise；〃 I could never declare to
be so according to their standard。 Let them； then； keep this word
〃wisdom〃 to themselves。 Everybody is irritated by it； no one
understands what it means。 Let them but grant that the men I
mentioned were 〃good。〃 No； they won't do that either。 No one but
the 〃wise〃 can be allowed that title； say they。 Well； then； let us
dismiss them and manage as best we may with our own poor
mother wit； as the phrase is。
We mean then by the 〃good〃 _those whose actions and lives leave
no question as to their honour； purity； equity； and liberality； who
are free from greed； lust； and violence； and who have the courage
of their convictions_。 The men I have just named may serve as
examples。 Such men as these being generally accounted 〃good；〃
let us agree to call them so； on the ground that to the best of
human ability they follow nature as the most perfect guide to a
good life。
Now this truth seems clear to me； that nature has so formed us that
a certain tie unites us all； but that this tie becomes stronger from
proximity。 So it is that fellow…citizens are preferred in our
affections to foreigners； relations to strangers； for in their case
Nature herself has caused a kind of friendship to exist； though it is
one which lacks some of the elements of permanence。 Friendship
excels relationship in this； that whereas you may eliminate
affection from relationship； you cannot do so from friendship。
Without it relationship still exists in name； friendship does not。
You may best understand this friendship by considering that；
whereas the merely natural ties uniting the human race are
indefinite； this one is so concentrated； and confined to so narrow a
sphere； that affection is ever shared by two persons only or at most
by a few。
6。 Now friendship may be thus defined： a complete accord on all
subjects human and divine； joined with mutual goodwill and
affection。 And with the exception of wisdom； I am inclined to
think nothing better than this has been given to man by the
immortal gods。 There are people who give the palm to riches or to
good health； or to power and office； many even to sensual
pleasures。 This last is the ideal of brute beasts； and of the others
we may say that they are frail and uncertain； and depend less on
our own prudence than on the caprice of fortune。 Then there are
those who find the 〃chief good〃 in virtue。 Well； that is a noble
doctrine。 But the very virtue they talk of is the parent and
preserver of friendship； and without it friendship cannot possibly
exist。
Let us； I repeat； use the word virtue in the ordinary acceptation and
meaning of the term； and do not let us define it in high…flown
language。 Let us account as good the persons usually considered
so； such as Paulus； Cato； Gallus； Scipio； and Philus。 Such men as
these are good enough for everyday life； and we need not trouble
ourselves about those ideal characters which are nowhere to be
met with。
Well； between men like these the advantages of friendship are
almost more than I can say。 To begin with； how can life he worth
living； to use the words of Ennius； which lacks that repose which
is to be found in the mutual good…will of a friend？ What can be
more delightful than to have some one to whom you can say
everything with the same absolute confidence as to yourself？ Is
not prosperity robbed of half its value if you have no one to share
your joy？ On the other hand； misfortunes would be hard to bear if
there were not some one to feel them even more acutely than
yourself。 In a word； other objects of ambition serve for particular
ends…riches for use； power for securing homage； office for
reputation； pleasure for enjoyment； health for' freedom from pain
and the full use of the functions of the body。 But friendship
embraces innumerable advantages。 Turn which way you please；
you will find it at hand。 It is everywhere； and yet never out of
place； never unwelcome。 Fire and water themselves； to use a
common expression； are not of more universal use than friendship。
I am not now speaking of the common or modified form of it；
though even that is a source of pleasure and profit； but of that true
and complete friendship which existed between the select few who
are known to fame。 Such friendship enhances prosperity； and
relieves adversity of its burden by halving and sharing it。
7。 And great and numerous as are the blessings of friendship； this
certainly is the sovereign one； that it gives us bright hopes for the
future and forbids weakness and despair。 In the face of a true
friend a man sees as it were a second self。 So that where his friend
is he is； if his friend be rich； he is not poor； though he be weak； his
friend's strength is his； and in his friend's life he enjoys a second
life after his own is finished。 This last is perhaps the most diffi