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retired from the Church； glowing with admiration。 From that
moment you became the idol of my heart； the never…changing object
of my Meditations。 I enquired respecting you。 The reports which
were made me of your mode of life； of your knowledge； piety； and
self…denial riveted the chains imposed on me by your eloquence。
I was conscious that there was no longer a void in my heart； That
I had found the Man whom I had sought till then in vain。 In
expectation of hearing you again； every day I visited your
Cathedral： You remained secluded within the Abbey walls； and I
always withdrew； wretched and disappointed。 The Night was more
propitious to me； for then you stood before me in my dreams； You
vowed to me eternal friendship； You led me through the paths of
virtue； and assisted me to support the vexations of life。 The
Morning dispelled these pleasing visions； I woke； and found
myself separated from you by Barriers which appeared
insurmountable。 Time seemed only to increase the strength of my
passion： I grew melancholy and despondent； I fled from society；
and my health declined daily。 At length no longer able to exist
in this state of torture； I resolved to assume the disguise in
which you see me。 My artifice was fortunate： I was received
into the Monastery； and succeeded in gaining your esteem。
'Now then I should have felt compleatly happy； had not my quiet
been disturbed by the fear of detection。 The pleasure which I
received from your society； was embittered by the idea that
perhaps I should soon be deprived of it： and my heart throbbed so
rapturously at obtaining the marks of your friendship； as to
convince me that I never should survive its loss。 I resolved；
therefore； not to leave the discovery of my sex to chance； to
confess the whole to you； and throw myself entirely on your mercy
and indulgence。 Ah！ Ambrosio； can I have been deceived？ Can you
be less generous than I thought you？ I will not suspect it。 You
will not drive a Wretch to despair； I shall still be permitted to
see you； to converse with you； to adore you！ Your virtues shall
be my example through life； and when we expire； our bodies shall
rest in the same Grave。'
She ceased。 While She spoke； a thousand opposing sentiments
combated in Ambrosio's bosom。 Surprise at the singularity of
this adventure； Confusion at her abrupt declaration； Resentment
at her boldness in entering the Monastery； and Consciousness of
the austerity with which it behoved him to reply； such were the
sentiments of which He was aware； But there were others also
which did not obtain his notice。 He perceived not； that his
vanity was flattered by the praises bestowed upon his eloquence
and virtue； that He felt a secret pleasure in reflecting that a
young and seemingly lovely Woman had for his sake abandoned the
world； and sacrificed every other passion to that which He had
inspired： Still less did He perceive that his heart throbbed
with desire； while his hand was pressed gently by Matilda's ivory
fingers。
By degrees He recovered from his confusion。 His ideas became
less bewildered： He was immediately sensible of the extreme
impropriety； should Matilda be permitted to remain in the Abbey
after this avowal of her sex。 He assumed an air of severity； and
drew away his hand。
'How； Lady！' said He； 'Can you really hope for my permission to
remain amongst us？ Even were I to grant your request； what good
could you derive from it？ Think you that I ever can reply to an
affection； which 。 。 。'。
'No； Father； No！ I expect not to inspire you with a love like
mine。 I only wish for the liberty to be near you； to pass some
hours of the day in your society； to obtain your compassion； your
friendship and esteem。 Surely my request is not unreasonable。'
'But reflect； Lady！ Reflect only for a moment on the impropriety
of my harbouring a Woman in the Abbey； and that too a Woman； who
confesses that She loves me。 It must not be。 The risque of your
being discovered is too great； and I will not expose myself to so
dangerous a temptation。'
'Temptation； say you？ Forget that I am a Woman； and it no
longer exists： Consider me only as a Friend； as an Unfortunate；
whose happiness； whose life depends upon your protection。 Fear
not lest I should ever call to your remembrance that love the
most impetuous； the most unbounded； has induced me to disguise my
sex； or that instigated by desires； offensive to YOUR vows and my
own honour； I should endeavour to seduce you from the path of
rectitude。 No； Ambrosio； learn to know me better。 I love you
for your virtues： Lose them； and with them you lose my
affections。 I look upon you as a Saint； Prove to me that you are
no more than Man； and I quit you with disgust。 Is it then from
me that you fear temptation？ From me； in whom the world's
dazzling pleasures created no other sentiment than contempt？
From me； whose attachment is grounded on your exemption from
human frailty？ Oh！ dismiss such injurious apprehensions！ Think
nobler of me； think nobler of yourself。 I am incapable of
seducing you to error； and surely your Virtue is established on a
basis too firm to be shaken by unwarranted desires。 Ambrosio；
dearest Ambrosio！ drive me not from your presence； Remember your
promise； and authorize my stay！'
'Impossible； Matilda； YOUR interest commands me to refuse your
prayer； since I tremble for you； not for myself。 After
vanquishing the impetuous ebullitions of Youth； After passing
thirty years in mortification and penance； I might safely permit
your stay； nor fear your inspiring me with warmer sentiments than
pity。 But to yourself； remaining in the Abbey can produce none
but fatal consequences。 You will misconstrue my every word and
action； You will seize every circumstance with avidity； which
encourages you to hope the return of your affection； Insensibly
your passions will gain a superiority over your reason； and far
from these being repressed by my presence； every moment which we
pass together； will only serve to irritate and excite them。
Believe me； unhappy Woman！ you possess my sincere compassion。 I
am convinced that you have hitherto acted upon the purest
motives； But though you are blind to the imprudence of your
conduct； in me it would be culpable not to open your eyes。 I
feel that Duty obliges my treating you with harshness： I must
reject your prayer； and remove every shadow of hope which may
aid to nourish sentiments so pernicious to your repose。 Matilda；
you must from hence tomorrow。'
'Tomorrow； Ambrosio？ Tomorrow？ Oh！ surely you cannot mean it！
You cannot resolve on driving me to despair！ You cannot have the
cruelty。 。 。 。'
'You have heard my decision； and it must be obeyed。 The Laws of
our Order forbid your stay： It would be perjury to conceal that
a Woman is within these Walls； and my vows will oblige me to
declare your story to the Community。 You must from hence！I
pity you； but can do no more！'
He pronounced these words in a faint and trembling voice： Then
rising from his seat； He would have hastened towards the
Monastery。 Uttering a loud shriek； Matilda followed； and
detained him。
'Stay yet