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How did I ever do what I did？ How do I know？ What force urged me
on？ What malevolent power took possession of me？ Oh！ the
temptation to crime came to me without any forewarning。 All I
recall is that my heart beat tumultuously。 It beat so hard that I
could hear it； as one hears the strokes of a hammer behind a
partition。 That is all I can recallthe beating of my heart！
In my head there was a strange confusion； a tumult； a senseless
disorder； a lack of presence of mind。 It was one of those hours of
bewilderment and hallucination when a man is neither conscious of
his actions nor able to guide his will。
I gently raised the coverings from the body of the child； I turned
them down to the foot of the crib； and he lay there uncovered and
naked。
He did not wake。 Then I went toward the window； softly； quite
softly； and I opened it。
A breath of icy air glided in like an assassin； it was so cold that
I drew aside； and the two candles flickered。 I remained standing
near the window； not daring to turn round； as if for fear of seeing
what was doing on behind me； and feeling the icy air continually
across my forehead； my cheeks； my hands； the deadly air which kept
streaming in。 I stood there a long time。
I was not thinking； I was not reflecting。 All at once a little
cough caused me to shudder frightfully from head to foot； a shudder
that I feel still to the roots of my hair。 And with a frantic
movement I abruptly closed both sides of the window and； turning
round； ran over to the crib。
He was still asleep； his mouth open； quite naked。 I touched his
legs； they were icy cold and I covered them up。
My heart was suddenly touched； grieved； filled with pity；
tenderness； love for this poor innocent being that I had wished to
kill。 I kissed his fine； soft hair long and tenderly； then I went
and sat down before the fire。
I reflected with amazement with horror on what I had done； asking
myself whence come those tempests of the soul in which a man loses
all perspective of things； all command over himself and acts as in a
condition of mad intoxication； not knowing whither he is goinglike
a vessel in a hurricane。
The child coughed again； and it gave my heart a wrench。 Suppose it
should die！ O God！ O God！ What would become of me？
I rose from my chair to go and look at him； and with a candle in my
hand I leaned over him。 Seeing him breathing quietly I felt
reassured； when he coughed a third time。 It gave me such a shock
tat I started backward； just as one does at sight of something
horrible； and let my candle fall。
As I stood erect after picking it up； I noticed that my temples were
bathed in perspiration； that cold sweat which is the result of
anguish of soul。 And I remained until daylight bending over my son；
becoming calm when he remained quiet for some time； and filled with
atrocious pain when a weak cough came from his mouth。
He awoke with his eyes red； his throat choked； and with an air of
suffering。
When the woman came in to arrange my room I sent her at once for a
doctor。 He came at the end of an hour； and said； after examining
the child：
〃Did he not catch cold？〃
I began to tremble like a person with palsy； and I faltered：
〃No； I do not think so。〃
And then I said：
〃What is the matter？ Is it serious？〃
〃I do not know yet；〃 he replied。 〃I will come again this evening。〃
He came that evening。 My son had remained almost all day in a
condition of drowsiness； coughing from time to time。 During the
night inflammation of the lungs set in。
That lasted ten days。 I cannot express what I suffered in those
interminable hours that divide morning from night； right from
morning。
He died。
And sincesince that moment； I have not passed one hour； not a
single hour； without the frightful burning recollection； a gnawing
recollection； a memory that seems to wring my heart； awaking in me
like a savage beast imprisoned in the depth of my soul。
Oh！ if I could have gone mad！
M。 Poirel de la Voulte raised his spectacles with a motion that was
peculiar to him whenever he finished reading a contract； and the three
heirs of the defunct looked at one another without speaking； pale and
motionless。
At the end of a minute the lawyer resumed：
〃That must be destroyed。〃
The other two bent their heads in sign of assent。 He lighted a candle；
carefully separated the pages containing the damaging confession from
those relating to the disposition of money； then he held them over the
candle and threw them into the fireplace。
And they watched the white sheets as they burned； till they were
presently reduced to little crumbling black heaps。 And as some words
were still visible in white tracing； the daughter； with little strokes of
the toe of her shoe； crushed the burning paper； mixing it with the old
ashes in the fireplace。
Then all three stood there watching it for some time； as if they feared
that the destroyed secret might escape from the fireplace。
A MOTHER OF MONSTERS
I recalled this horrible story； the events of which occurred long ago；
and this horrible woman； the other day at a fashionable seaside resort；
where I saw on the beach a well…known young； elegant and charming
Parisienne； adored and respected by everyone。
I had been invited by a friend to pay him a visit in a little provincial
town。 He took me about in all directions to do the honors of the place；
showed me noted scenes； chateaux； industries； ruins。 He pointed out
monuments； churches； old carved doorways； enormous or distorted trees；
the oak of St。 Andrew； and the yew tree of Roqueboise。
When I had exhausted my admiration and enthusiasm over all the sights；
my friend said with a distressed expression on his face； that there was
nothing left to look at。 I breathed freely。 I would now be able to rest
under the shade of the trees。 But； all at once； he uttered an
exclamation：
〃Oh； yes！ We have the 'Mother of Monsters'； I must take you to see her。〃
〃Who is that； the 'Mother of Monsters'？〃 I asked。
〃She is an abominable woman；〃 he replied； 〃a regular demon； a being who
voluntarily brings into the world deformed； hideous； frightful children；
monstrosities； in fact； and then sells them to showmen who exhibit such
things。
〃These exploiters of freaks come from time to time to find out if she has
any fresh monstrosity； and if it meets with their approval they carry it
away with them； paying the mother a compensation。
〃She has eleven of this description。 She is rich。
〃You think I am joking； romancing； exaggerating。 No； my friend； I am
telling you the truth； the exact truth。
〃Let us go and see this woman。 Then I will tell you her history。〃
He took me into one of the suburbs。 The woman lived in a pretty little
house by the side of the road。 I