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window； from a hook in the ceiling； from a beam in the garret； from a
branch of a tree amid the evening rain。 And I surmised all that had
happened before they hung there motionless； their tongues hanging out of
their mouths。 I imagined the anguish of their heart； their final
hesitation； their attempts to fasten the rope； to determine that it was
secure； then to pass the noose round their neck and to let themselves
fall。
I saw others lying on wretched beds； mothers with their little children；
old men dying of hunger； young girls dying for love； all rigid；
suffocated； asphyxiated； while in the center of the room the brasier
still gave forth the fumes of charcoal。
And I saw others walking at night along the deserted bridges。 These were
the most sinister。 The water flowed under the arches with a low sound。
They did not see it 。 。 。 they guessed at it from its cool breath！
They longed for it and they feared it。 They dared not do it！ And yet；
they must。 A distant clock sounded the hour and； suddenly； in the vast
silence of the night； there was heard the splash of a body falling into
the river； a scream or two； the sound of hands beating the water； and all
was still。 Sometimes； even； there was only the sound of the falling body
when they had tied their arms down or fastened a stone to their feet。
Oh； the poor things； the poor things； the poor things； how I felt their
anguish； how I died in their death！ I went through all their
wretchedness； I endured in one hour all their tortures。 I knew all the
sorrows that had led them to this； for I know the deceitful infamy of
life； and no one has felt it more than I have。
How I understood them； these who weak； harassed by misfortune； having
lost those they loved； awakened from the dream of a tardy compensation；
from the illusion of another existence where God will finally be just；
after having been ferocious； and their minds disabused of the mirages of
happiness； have given up the fight and desire to put an end to this
ceaseless tragedy； or this shameful comedy。
Suicide！ Why； it is the strength of those whose strength is exhausted；
the hope of those who no longer believe； the sublime courage of the
conquered！ Yes； there is at least one door to this life we can always
open and pass through to the other side。 Nature had an impulse of pity；
she did not shut us up in prison。 Mercy for the despairing！
As for those who are simply disillusioned； let them march ahead with free
soul and quiet heart。 They have nothing to fear since they may take
their leave； for behind them there is always this door that the gods of
our illusions cannot even lock。
I thought of this crowd of suicides： more than eight thousand five
hundred in one year。 And it seemed to me that they had combined to send
to the world a prayer； to utter a cry of appeal； to demand something that
should come into effect later when we understood things better。 It
seemed to me that all these victims； their throats cut； poisoned； hung；
asphyxiated； or drowned； all came together； a frightful horde； like
citizens to the polls； to say to society：
〃Grant us； at least； a gentle death！ Help us to die； you who will not
help us to live！ See； we are numerous； we have the right to speak in
these days of freedom； of philosophic independence and of popular
suffrage。 Give to those who renounce life the charity of a death that
will not be repugnant nor terrible。〃
I began to dream； allowing my fancy to roam at will in weird and
mysterious fashion on this subject。
I seemed to be all at once in a beautiful city。 It was Paris； but at
what period？ I walked about the streets； looking at the houses； the
theaters； the public buildings； and presently found myself in a square
where I remarked a large building； very handsome； dainty and attractive。
I was surprised on reading on the facade this inscription in letters of
gold； 〃Suicide Bureau。〃
Oh； the weirdness of waking dreams where the spirit soars into a world of
unrealities and possibilities！ Nothing astonishes one； nothing shocks
one； and the unbridled fancy makes no distinction between the comic and
the tragic。
I approached the building where footmen in knee…breeches were seated in
the vestibule in front of a cloak…room as they do at the entrance of a
club。
I entered out of curiosity。 One of the men rose and said：
〃What does monsieur wish？〃
〃I wish to know what building this is。〃
〃Nothing more？〃
〃Why； no。〃
〃Then would monsieur like me to take him to the Secretary of the Bureau？〃
I hesitated； and asked：
〃But will not that disturb him？〃
〃Oh； no； monsieur； he is here to receive those who desire information。〃
〃Well； lead the way。〃
He took me through corridors where old gentlemen were chatting； and
finally led me into a beautiful office； somewhat somber； furnished
throughout in black wood。 A stout young man with a corporation was
writing a letter as he smoked a cigar； the fragrance of which gave
evidence of its quality。
He rose。 We bowed to each other； and as soon as the footman had retired
he asked：
〃What can I do for you？〃
〃Monsieur；〃 I replied； 〃pardon my curiosity。 I had never seen this
establishment。 The few words inscribed on the facade filled me with
astonishment； and I wanted to know what was going on here。〃
He smiled before replying； then said in a low tone with a complacent air：
〃Mon Dieu； monsieur； we put to death in a cleanly and gentleI do not
venture to say agreeable manner those persons who desire to die。〃
I did not feel very shocked； for it really seemed to me natural and
right。 What particularly surprised me was that on this planet； with its
low； utilitarian； humanitarian ideals； selfish and coercive of all true
freedom； any one should venture on a similar enterprise； worthy of an
emancipated humanity。
〃How did you get the idea？〃 I asked。
〃Monsieur；〃 he replied； 〃the number of suicides increased so enormously
during the five years succeeding the world exposition of 1889 that some
measures were urgently needed。 People killed themselves in the streets；
at fetes； in restaurants； at the theater； in railway carriages； at the
receptions held by the President of the Republic； everywhere。 It was not
only a horrid sight for those who love life； as I do； but also a bad
example for children。 Hence it became necessary to centralize suicides。〃
〃What caused this suicidal epidemic？〃
〃I do not know。 The fact is； I believe； the world is growing old。
People begin to see things clearly and they are getting disgruntled。
It is the same to…day with destiny as with the government； we have found
out what it is； people find that they are swindled in every direction；
and they just get out of it all。 When one discovers that Providence
lies； cheats； robs； deceives human beings just as a plain Deputy deceives
his constituents； one gets angry； and as one cannot nominate a fresh
Providence every three months as we do with our privileged
representatives； one just gets out of the whole thing； which is decidedly
bad。〃
〃Really！〃
〃Oh； as for me； I am not complaining。〃
〃Will you inform me how you carry on this establishment？〃