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or to make an effort in the direction he desires to go。〃
＇110＇ For instance； C。 G。 Finney italicizes the volitional
element： 〃Just at this point the whole question of Gospel
salvation opened to my mind in a manner most marvelous to me at
the time。 I think I then saw； as clearly as I ever have in my
life； the reality and fullness of the atonement of Christ。
Gospel salvation seemed to me to be an offer of something to be
accepted； and all that was necessary on my part to get my own
consent to give up my sins and accept Christ。 After this
distinct revelation had stood for some little time before my
mind； the question seemed to be put； 'will you accept it now；
to…day？' I replied； 'Yes； I will accept it to…day； or I will die
in the attempt！'〃 He then went into the woods； where he
describes his struggles。 He could not pray； his heart was
hardened in its pride。 〃I then reproached myself for having
promised to give my heart to God before I left the woods。 When I
came to try； I found I could not。 。 。 。 My inward soul hung
back； and there was no going out of my heart to God。 The thought
was pressing me； of the rashness of my promise that I would give
my heart to God that day； or die in the attempt。 It seemed to me
as if that was binding on my soul； and yet I was going to break
my vow。 A great sinking and discouragement came over me； and I
felt almost too weak to stand upon my knees。 Just at this moment
I again thought I heard some one approach me； and I opened my
eyes to see whether it were so。 But right there the revelation
of my pride of heart； as the great difficulty that stood in the
way； was distinctly shown to me。 An overwhelming sense of my
wickedness in being ashamed to have a human being see me on my
knees before God took such powerful possession of me； that I
cried at the top of my voice； and exclaimed that I would not
leave that place if all the men on earth and all the devils in
hell surrounded me。 'What！' I said； 'such a degraded sinner as I
am； on my knees confessing my sins to the great and holy God； and
ashamed to have any human being； and a sinner like myself； find
me on my knees endeavoring to make my peace with my offended
God！' The sin appeared awful； infinite。 It broke me down before
the Lord。〃 Memoirs； pp。 14…16； abridged。
〃I had said I would not give up； but when my will was broken； it
was all over；〃 writes one of Starbuck's correspondents。 Another
says： 〃I simply said： 'Lord； I have done all I can； I leave the
whole matter with Thee；' and immediately there came to me a great
peace。〃Another： 〃All at once it occurred to me that I might be
saved； too； if I would stop trying to do it all myself； and
follow Jesus： somehow I lost my load。〃Another： 〃I finally
ceased to resist； and gave myself up； though it was a hard
struggle。 Gradually the feeling came over me that I had done my
part； and God was willing to do his。〃＇111＇〃Lord Thy will be
done； damn or save！〃 cries John Nelson；＇112＇ exhausted with the
anxious struggle to escape damnation； and at that moment his soul
was filled with peace。
＇111＇ Starbuck： Op。 cit。； pp。 91； 114。
＇112＇ Extracts from the Journal of Mr。 John Nelson； London； no
date； p。 24。
Dr。 Starbuck gives an interesting； and it seems to me a true；
accountso far as conceptions so schematic can claim truth at
allof the reasons why self…surrender at the last moment should
be so indispensable。 To begin with； there are two things in the
mind of the candidate for conversion： first； the present
incompleteness or wrongness； the 〃sin〃 which he is eager to
escape from； and； second； the positive ideal which he longs to
compass。 Now with most of us the sense of our present wrongness
is a far more distinct piece of our consciousness than is the
imagination of any positive ideal we can aim at。 In a majority
of cases； indeed； the 〃sin〃 almost exclusively engrosses the
attention； so that conversion is 〃a process of struggling away
from sin rather than of striving towards righteousness。〃＇113＇ A
man's conscious wit and will； so far as they strain towards the
ideal； are aiming at something only dimly and inaccurately
imagined。 Yet all the while the forces of mere organic ripening
within him are going on towards their own prefigured result； and
his conscious strainings are letting loose subconscious allies
behind the scenes； which in their way work towards rearrangement；
and the rearrangement towards which all these deeper forces tend
is pretty surely definite； and definitely different from what he
consciously conceives and determines。 It may consequently be
actually interfered with （JAMMED； as it were； like the lost word
when we seek too energetically to recall it）； by his voluntary
efforts slanting from the true direction。
＇113＇ Starbuck； p。 64。
Starbuck seems to put his finger on the root of the matter when
he says that to exercise the personal will is still to live in
the region where the imperfect self is the thing most emphasized。
Where； on the contrary； the subconscious forces take the lead； it
is more probably the better self in posse which directs the
operation。 Instead of being clumsily and vaguely aimed at from
without； it is then itself the organizing centre。 What then must
the person do？ 〃He must relax；〃 says Dr。 Starbuck〃that is； he
must fall back on the larger Power that makes for righteousness；
which has been welling up in his own being； and let it finish in
its own way the work it has begun。 。 。 。 The act of yielding； in
this point of view； is giving one's self over to the new life；
making it the centre of a new personality； and living； from
within； the truth of it which had before been viewed
objectively。〃＇114＇
＇114＇ Starbuck； p。 115。
〃Man's extremity is God's opportunity〃 is the theological way of
putting this fact of the need of self…surrender； whilst the
physiological way of stating it would be； 〃Let one do all in
one's power； and one's nervous system will do the rest。〃 Both
statements acknowledge the same fact。＇115＇
＇115＇ Starbuck； p。 113。
To state it in terms of our own symbolism： When the new centre
of personal energy has been subconsciously incubated so long as
to be just ready to open into flower； 〃hands off〃 is the only
word for us； it must burst forth unaided！
We have used the vague and abstract language of psychology。 But
since； in any terms； the crisis desc