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NICIAS
Tell me； what is it？
DEMOSTHENES
Run indoors quick and steal the oracles of the Paphlagonian； while
he is asleep。
NICIAS
Bless me！ I fear this Good Genius will be but a very Bad Genius
for me。
（He goes into the house。）
DEMOSTHENES
And I'll set the flagon near me； that I may moisten my wit to
invent some brilliant notion。
（NICIAS enters the house and returns at once。）
NICIAS
How loudly the Paphlagonian farts and snores！ I was able to
seize the sacred oracle； which he was guarding with the greatest care；
without his seeing me。
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ clever fellow！ Hand it here； that I may read。 Come； pour me
out some drink； bestir yourself！ Let me see what there is in it。 Oh！
prophecy！ Some drink！ some drink！ Quick！
NICIAS
Well！ what says the oracle？
DEMOSTHENES
Pour again。
NICIAS
Is 〃Pour again〃 in the oracle？
DEMOSTHENES
Oh； Bacis！
NICIAS
But what is in it？
DEMOSTHENES
Quick！ some drink！
NICIAS
Bacis is very dry！
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ miserable Paphlagonian！ This then is why you have so long
taken such precautions； your horoscope gave you qualms of terror。
NICIAS
What does it say？
DEMOSTHENES
It says here how he must end。
NICIAS
And how？
DEMOSTHENES
How？ the oracle announces clearly that a dealer in oakum must
first govern the city。
NICIAS
That's one tradesman。 And after him； who？
DEMOSTHENES
After him； a sheep…dealer。
NICIAS
Two tradesmen； eh？ And what is this one's fate？
DEMOSTHENES
To reign until a filthier scoundrel than he arises； then he
perishes and in his place the leather…seller appears； the Paphlagonian
robber； the bawler； who roars like a torrent。
NICIAS
And the leather…seller must destroy the sheep…seller？
DEMOSTHENES
Yes。
NICIAS
Oh woe is me！ Where can another seller be found； is there ever a
one left？
DEMOSTHENES
There is yet one； who plies a first…rate trade。
NICIAS
Tell me； pray； what is that？
DEMOSTHENES
You really want to know？
NICIAS
Yes。
DEMOSTHENES
Well then！ it's a sausage…seller who must overthrow him。
NICIAS
A sausage…seller！ Ah！ by Posidon！ what a fine trade！ But where can
this man be found？
DEMOSTHENES
Let's seek him。 But look！ there he is； going towards the
market…place； 'tis the gods； the gods who send him！ （Calling out） This
way； this way； oh； lucky sausage…seller； come forward； dear friend；
our saviour； the saviour of our city。
（Enter AGORACRITUS； a seller of sausages； carrying a basket of his
wares。）
SAUSAGE…SELLER
What is it？ Why do you call me？
DEMOSTHENES
Come here； come and learn about your good luck； you who are
Fortune's favourite！
NICIAS
Come！ Relieve him of his basket…tray and tell him the oracle of
the god； I will go and look after the Paphlagonian。
（He goes into the house。）
DEMOSTHENES
First put down all your gear； then worship the earth and the gods。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Done。 What is the matter？
DEMOSTHENES
Happiness； riches； power； to…day you have nothing； to…morrow you
will have all； oh！ chief of happy Athens。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Why not leave me to wash my tripe and to sell my sausages
instead of making game of me？
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ the fool！ Your tripe！ Do you see these tiers of people？
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Yes。
DEMOSTHENES
You shall be master to them all； governor of the market； of the
harbours； of the Pnyx； you shall trample the Senate under foot； be
able to cashier the generals； load them with fetters； throw them
into gaol； and you will fornicate in the Prytaneum。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
What！ I？
DEMOSTHENES
You； without a doubt。 But you do not yet see all the glory
awaiting you。 Stand on your basket and look at all the islands that
surround Athens。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
I see them。 What then？
DEMOSTHENES
Look at the storehouses and the shipping。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Yes； I am looking。
DEMOSTHENES
Exists there a mortal more blest than you？ Furthermore； turn
your right eye towards Caria and your left toward Carthage！
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Then it's a blessing to be cock…eyed！
DEMOSTHENES
No； but you are the one who is going to trade away all this。
According to the oracle you must become the greatest of men。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
Just tell me how a sausage…seller can become a great man。
DEMOSTHENES
That is precisely why you will be great； because you are a sad
rascal without shame； no better than a common market rogue。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
I do not hold myself worthy of wielding power。
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ by the gods！ Why do you not hold yourself worthy？ Have you
then such a good opinion of yourself？ Come； are you of honest
parentage？
SAUSAGE…SELLER
By the gods！ No！ of very bad indeed。
DEMOSTHENES
Spoilt child of fortune； everything fits together to ensure your
greatness。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
But I have not had the least education。 I can only read； and
that very badly。
DEMOSTHENES
That is what may stand in your way； almost knowing how to read。
A demagogue must be neither an educated nor an honest man； he has to
be an ignoramus and a rogue。 But do not； do not let go this gift；
which the oracle promises。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
But what does the oracle say？
DEMOSTHENES
Faith； it is put together in very fine enigmatical style； as
elegant as it is dear： 〃When the eagle…tanner with the hooked claws
shall seize a stupid dragon； a blood…sucker； it will be an end to
the hot Paphlagonian pickled garlic。 The god grants great glory to the
sausage…sellers unless they prefeir to sell their wares。〃
SAUSAGE…SELLER
In what way does this concern me？ Please instruct my ignorance。
DEMOSTHENES
The eagle…tanner is the Paphlagonian。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
What do the hooked claws mean？
DEMOSTHENES
It means to say； that he robs and pillages us with his claw…like
hands。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
And the dragon？
DEMOSTHENES
That is quite clear。 The dragon is long and so also is the
sausage； the sausage like the dragon is a drinker of blood。
Therefore the oracle says； that the dragon will triumph over the
eagle…tanner； if he does not let himself be cajoled with words。
SAUSAGE…SELLER
The oracles of the gods flatter me！ Faith！ I do not at all
understand how I can be capable of governing the people。
DEMOSTHENES
Nothing simpler。 Continue your trade。 Mix and knead together all
the state business as you do for your sausages。 To win the people；
always cook them some savoury that pleases them。 Besides； you
possess all the attributes of a demagogue；