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part 4-第11章

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quietly。  Things get into the papers。〃  As he watched her



troubled expression; he grew anxious。  He leaned forward



on his camp…chair; and kept twirling the handbag between



his knees。  〃Here's a suggestion; Thea;〃 he said presently。



〃Dismiss it if you don't like it: suppose we go down to



Mexico on the chance。  You've never seen anything like



Mexico City; it will be a lark for you; anyhow。  If you



change your mind; and don't want to marry me; you can



go back to Chicago; and I'll take a steamer from Vera



Cruz and go up to New York。  When I get to Chicago;



you'll be at work; and nobody will ever be the wiser。  No



reason why we shouldn't both travel in Mexico; is there?



You'll be traveling alone。  I'll merely tell you the right



places to stop; and come to take you driving。  I won't put



any pressure on you。  Have I ever?〃  He swung the bag



toward her and looked up under her hat。







     〃No; you haven't;〃 she murmured。  She was thinking



that her own position might be less difficult if he had used



what he called pressure。  He clearly wished her to take the



responsibility。







     〃You have your own future in the back of your mind all



the time;〃 Fred began; 〃and I have it in mine。  I'm not



going to try to carry you off; as I might another girl。  If you



wanted to quit me; I couldn't hold you; no matter how



many times you had married me。  I don't want to over…



persuade you。  But I'd like mighty well to get you down to



that jolly old city; where everything would please you; and



give myself a chance。  Then; if you thought you could have



a better time with me than without me; I'd try to grab you















before you changed your mind。  You are not a sentimental



person。〃







     Thea drew her veil down over her face。  〃I think I am; a



little; about you;〃 she said quietly。  Fred's irony somehow



hurt her。







     〃What's at the bottom of your mind; Thea?〃 he asked



hurriedly。  〃I can't tell。  Why do you consider it at all; if



you're not sure?  Why are you here with me now?〃







     Her face was half…averted。  He was thinking that it



looked older and more firmalmost hardunder a veil。







     〃Isn't it possible to do things without having any very



clear reason?〃 she asked slowly。  〃I have no plan in the



back of my mind。  Now that I'm with you; I want to be



with you; that's all。  I can't settle down to being alone



again。  I am here to…day because I want to be with you



to…day。〃  She paused。  〃One thing; though; if I gave you



my word; I'd keep it。  And you could hold me; though you



don't seem to think so。  Maybe I'm not sentimental; but



I'm not very light; either。  If I went off with you like



this; it wouldn't be to amuse myself。〃







     Ottenburg's eyes fell。  His lips worked nervously for a



moment。  〃Do you mean that you really care for me; Thea



Kronborg?〃 he asked unsteadily。







     〃I guess so。  It's like anything else。  It takes hold of you



and you've got to go through with it; even if you're afraid。



I was afraid to leave Moonstone; and afraid to leave



Harsanyi。  But I had to go through with it。〃







     〃And are you afraid now?〃 Fred asked slowly。







     〃Yes; more than I've ever been。  But I don't think I



could go back。  The past closes up behind one; somehow。



One would rather have a new kind of misery。  The old



kind seems like death or unconsciousness。  You can't force



your life back into that mould again。  No; one can't go



back。〃  She rose and stood by the back grating of the



platform; her hand on the brass rail。







     Fred went to her side。  She pushed up her veil and turned















her most glowing face to him。  Her eyes were wet and



there were tears on her lashes; but she was smiling the



rare; whole…hearted smile he had seen once or twice be…



fore。  He looked at her shining eyes; her parted lips; her



chin a little lifted。  It was as if they were colored by a sun…



rise he could not see。  He put his hand over hers and clasped



it with a strength she felt。  Her eyelashes trembled; her



mouth softened; but her eyes were still brilliant。







     〃Will you always be like you were down there; if I go



with you?〃 she asked under her breath。







     His fingers tightened on hers。  〃By God; I will!〃 he



muttered。







     〃That's the only promise I'll ask you for。  Now go away



for a while and let me think about it。  Come back at lunch…



time and I'll tell you。  Will that do?〃







     〃Anything will do; Thea; if you'll only let me keep



an eye on you。  The rest of the world doesn't interest me



much。  You've got me in deep。〃







     Fred dropped her hand and turned away。  As he glanced



back from the front end of the observation car; he saw that



she was still standing there; and any one would have known



that she was brooding over something。  The earnestness of



her head and shoulders had a certain nobility。  He stood



looking at her for a moment。







     When he reached the forward smoking…car; Fred took a



seat at the end; where he could shut the other passengers



from his sight。  He put on his traveling…cap and sat down



wearily; keeping his head near the window。  〃In any case;



I shall help her more than I shall hurt her;〃 he kept saying



to himself。  He admitted that this was not the only motive



which impelled him; but it was one of them。  〃I'll make it



my business in life to get her on。  There's nothing else I



care about so much as seeing her have her chance。  She



hasn't touched her real force yet。  She isn't even aware of



it。  Lord; don't I know something about them?  There isn't



one of them that has such a depth to draw from。  She'll be















one of the great artists of our time。  Playing accompani…



ments for that cheese…faced sneak!  I'll get her off to Ger…



many this winter; or take her。  She hasn't got any time to



waste now。  I'll make it up to her; all right。〃







     Ottenburg certainly meant to make it up to her; in so



far as he could。  His feeling was as generous as strong human



feelings are likely to be。  The only trouble was; that he was



married already; and had been since he was twenty。







     His older friends in Chicago; people who had been friends



of his family; knew of the unfortunate state of his personal



affairs; but they were people whom in the natural course



of things Thea Kronborg would scarcely meet。  Mrs。



Frederick Ottenburg lived in California; at Santa Bar…



bara; where her health wa
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