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with trials of many kinds。 It is a little matter to endure the
pangs of the flesh： the smart of wounds； the passion of hunger
and thirst； the heaviness of disease； and in this world I have
learned to take thought for nothing save the quiet of your soul。
It is through our affections that we are smitten with the true
pain； even the pain that kills。
ARETHUSA。 And yet this pain is our natural lot。 Father； I fear
to boast； but I know that I can bear it。 Let my life； then； flow
like common lives； each pain rewarded with some pleasure； each
pleasure linked with some pain： nothing pure whether for good or
evil： and my husband； like myself and all the rest of us； only a
poor； kind…hearted sinner； striving for the better part。 What
more could any woman ask？
GAUNT。 Child； child； your words are like a sword。 What would
she ask？ Look upon me whom； in the earthly sense； you are
commanded to respect。 Look upon me： do I bear a mark？ is there
any outward sign to bid a woman avoid and flee from me？
ARETHUSA。 I see nothing but the face I love。
GAUNT。 There is none： nor yet on the young man Christopher；
whose words still haunt and upbraid me。 Yes； I am hard； I was
born hard； born a tyrant； born to be what I was； a slaver
captain。 But to…night； and to save you； I will pluck my heart
out of my bosom。 You shall know what makes me what I am； you
shall hear； out of my own life； why I dread and deprecate this
marriage。 Child； do you remember your mother？
ARETHUSA。 Remember her？ Ah； if she had been here to…day！
GAUNT。 It is thirteen years since she departed； and took with
her the whole sunshine of my life。 Do you remember the manner of
her departure？ You were a child； and cannot； but I can and do。
Remember？ shall I ever forget？ Here or hereafter； ever forget！
Ten years she was my wife； and ten years she lay a…dying。
Arethusa； she was a saint on earth； and it was I that killed her。
ARETHUSA。 Killed her？ my mother？ You？
GAUNT。 Not with my hand； for I loved her。 I would not have hurt
one hair upon her head。 But she got her death by me； as sure as
by a blow。
ARETHUSA。 I understand … I can see： you brood on trifles；
misunderstandings； unkindnesses you think them； though my mother
never knew of them； or never gave them a second thought。 It is
natural； when death has come between。
GAUNT。 I married her from Falmouth。 She was comely as the roe；
I see her still … her dove's eyes and her smile！ I was older
than she； and I had a name for hardness； a hard and wicked man；
but she loved me … my Hester！ … and she took me as I was。 O how
I repaid her trust！ Well； our child was born to us； and we named
her after the brig I had built and sailed； the old craft whose
likeness … older than you； girl … stands there above our heads。
And so far； that was happiness。 But she yearned for my
salvation； and it was there I thwarted her。 My sins were a
burden upon her spirit； a shame to her in this world； her terror
in the world to come。 She talked much and often of my leaving
the devil's trade I sailed in。 She had a tender and a Christian
heart； and she would weep and pray for the poor heathen creatures
that I bought and sold and shipped into misery； till my
conscience grew hot within me。 I've put on my hat； and gone out
and made oath that my next cargo should be my last； but it never
was； that oath was never kept。 So I sailed again and again for
the Guinea coast； until the trip came that was to be my last
indeed。 Well； it fell out that we had good luck trading； and I
stowed the brig with these poor heathen as full as she would
hold。 We had a fair run westward till we were past the line； but
one night the wind rose and there came a hurricane； and for seven
days we were tossed on the deep seas； in the hardest straits； and
every hand on deck。 For several days they were battened down：
all that time we heard their cries and lamentations； but worst at
the beginning； and when at last； and near dead myself； I crept
below … O！ some they were starved； some smothered； some dead of
broken limbs； and the hold was like a lazar…house in the time of
the anger of the Lord！
ARETHUSA。 O！
GAUNT。 It was two hundred and five that we threw overboard： two
hundred and five lost souls that I had hurried to their doom。 I
had many die with me before； but not like that … not such a
massacre as that； and I stood dumb before the sight。 For I saw I
was their murderer … body and soul their murderer； and； Arethusa；
my Hester knew it。 That was her death…stroke： it felled her。
She had long been dying slowly； but from the hour she heard that
story； the garment of the flesh began to waste and perish； the
fountains of her life dried up； she faded before my face； and in
two months from my landing … O Hester； Hester； would God I had
died for thee！
ARETHUSA。 Mother！ O poor soul！ O poor father！ O father； it
was hard on you。
GAUNT。 The night she died； she lay there； in her bed。 She took
my hand。 'I am going；' she said； 'to heaven。 For Christ's
sake；' she said； 'come after me； and bring my little maid。 I'll
be waiting and wearying till you come；' and she kissed my hand；
the hand that killed her。 At that I broke out calling on her to
stop； for it was more than I could bear。 But no； she said she
must still tell me of my sins； and how the thought of them had
bowed down her life。 'And O！' she said； 'if I couldn't prevail
on you alive； let my death。' 。 。 。 Well； then； she died。 What
have I done since then？ I've laid my course for Hester。 Sin；
temptation； pleasure； all this poor shadow of a world； I saw them
not： I saw my Hester waiting； waiting and wearying。 I have made
my election sure； my sins I have cast them out。 Hester； Hester；
I will come to you； poor waiting one； and I'll bring your little
maid： ay； dearest soul； I'll bring your little maid safe with
me！
ARETHUSA。 O teach me how！ Show me the way！ only show me。 … O
mother； mother！ … If it were paved with fire； show me the way；
and I will walk it bare…foot！
GAUNT。 They call me a miser。 They say that in this sea…chest of
mine I hoard my gold。 （HE PASSES R。 TO CHEST； TAKES OUT KEY； AND
UNLOCKS IT。） They think my treasure and my very soul are locked
up here。 They speak after the flesh； but they are right。 See！
ARETHUSA。 Her watch？ the wedding ring？ O father； forgive me！
GAUNT。 Ay； her watch that counted the hours when I was away；
they were few and sorrowful； my Hester's hours； and this poor
contrivance numbered them。 The ring … with that I married her。
This chain； it's of Guinea gold； I brought it home for her； the
year before we married； and she wore it to her wedding。 It was a
vanity： they are all vanities； but they are the treasure of my
soul。 Below here； see； her wedding dress。 Ay； the watch has
stopped： dead； dead。 And I know that my Hester died of me； and
day and night； asleep and awake； my soul abides in her
remembrance。
ARETHUSA。 And you come in your sleep to look at them。 O poor
father！ I understand … I understand you now。
GAUNT。 In my sleep？ Ay？ do I so？ My Hester！
ARETHUSA。 And why； why d