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this: here's this Mr。 Deacon Brodie doing the genteel at home;
and leaving a nice young 'oman like you … as a cove may say … to
take it out on cold potatoes。 That's what I can't get over; Mrs。
Watt。 I'm a family man myself; and I can't get over it。
JEAN。 And whae said that to ye? They lee'd whatever。 I get
naething but guid by him; and I had nae richt to gang to his
house; and O; I just ken I've been the ruin of him!
HUNT。 Don't you take on; Mrs。 Watt。 Why; now I hear you piping
up for him; I begin to think a lot of him myself。 I like a cove
to be open…handed and free。
JEAN。 Weel; sir; and he's a' that。
HUNT。 Well; that shows what a wicked world this is。 Why; they
told me … 。 Well; well; 'here's the open 'and and the 'appy
'art。' And how much; my dear … speaking as a family man … now;
how much might your gentleman friend stand you in the course of a
year?
JEAN。 What's your wull?
HUNT。 That's a mighty fancy shawl; Mrs。 Watt。 'I should like to
take its next…door neighbour to Mrs。 Hunt in King Street; Common
Garden。' What's about the figure?
JEAN。 It's paid for。 Ye can sweir to that。
HUNT。 Yes; my dear; and so is King George's crown; but I don't
know what it cost; and I don't know where the blunt came from to
pay for it。
JEAN。 I'm thinking ye'll be a vera clever gentleman。
HUNT。 So I am; my dear; and I like you none the worse for being
artful yourself。 But between friends now; and speaking as a
family man …
JEAN。 I'll be wishin' ye a fine nicht。 (CURTSIES AND GOES OUT。)
SCENE IV
HUNT (SOLUS)
HUNT。 Ah! that's it; is it? 'My fancy man's my 'ole delight;'
as we say in Bow Street。 But which IS the fancy man? George the
Dock; or William the Deacon? One or both? (HE WINKS SOLEMNLY。)
Well; Jerry; my boy; here's your work cut out for you; but if you
took one…nine…five for that 'ere little two hundred you'd be a
disgrace to the profession。
TABLEAU III。 MOTHER CLARKE'S
SCENE I
The Stage represents a room of coarse and sordid appearance:
settles; spittoons; etc。; sanded floor。 A large table at back;
where AINSLIE; HAMILTON; and others are playing cards and
quarrelling。 In front; L。 and R。 smaller tables; at one of which
are BRODIE and MOORE; drinking。 MRS。 CLARKE and women serving。
MOORE。 You've got the devil's own luck; Deacon; that's what
you've got。
BRODIE。 Luck! Don't talk of luck to a man like me! Why not say
I've the devil's own judgment? Men of my stamp don't risk … they
plan; Badger; they plan; and leave chance to such cattle as you
'and Jingling Geordie。 They make opportunities before they take
them'。
MOORE。 You're artful; ain't you?
BRODIE。 Should I be here else? When I leave my house I leave an
ALIBI behind me。 I'm ill … ill with a jumping headache; and the
fiend's own temper。 I'm sick in bed this minute; and they're all
going about with the fear of death on them lest they should
disturb the poor sick Deacon。 'My bedroom door is barred and
bolted like the bank … you remember! … and all the while the
window's open; and the Deacon's over the hills and far away。
What do you think of me?'
MOORE。 I've seen your sort before; I have。
BRODIE。 Not you。 As for Leslie's …
MOORE。 That was a nick above you。
BRODIE。 Ay was it。 He wellnigh took me red…handed; and that was
better luck than I deserved。 If I'd not been drunk; and in my
tantrums; you'd never have got my hand within a thousand years of
such a job。
MOORE。 Why not? You're the King of the Cracksmen; ain't you?
BRODIE。 Why not! He asks me why not! Gods; what a brain it is!
Hark ye; Badger; it's all very well to be King of the Cracksmen;
as you call it; but however respectable he may have the
misfortune to be; one's friend is one's friend; and as such must
be severely let alone。 What! shall there be no more honour among
thieves than there is honesty among politicians? Why; man; if
under heaven there were but one poor lock unpicked; and that the
lock of one whose claret you've drunk; and who has babbled of
woman across your own mahogany … that lock; sir; were entirely
sacred。 Sacred as the Kirk of Scotland; sacred as King George
upon his throne; sacred as the memory of Bruce and Bannockburn。
MOORE。 Oh; rot! I ain't a parson; I ain't; I never had no
college education。 Business is business。 That's wot's the
matter with me。
BRODIE。 Ay; so we said when you lost that fight with Newcastle
Jemmy; and sent us all home poor men。 That was a nick above YOU。
MOORE。 Newcastle Jemmy! Muck: that's my opinion of him: muck。
I'll mop the floor up with him any day; if so be as you or any on
'em 'll make it worth my while。 If not; muck! That's my motto。
Wot I now ses is; about that 'ere crib at Leslie's; wos I right;
I ses? or wos I wrong? That's wot's the matter with you。
BRODIE。 You are both right and wrong。 You dared me to do it。 I
was drunk; I was upon my mettle; and I as good as did it。 More
than that; black…guardly as it was; I enjoyed the doing。 He is
my friend。 He had dined with me that day; and I felt like a man
in a story。 I climbed his wall; I crawled along his pantry roof;
I mounted his window…sill。 That one turn of my wrist … you know
it I … and the casement was open。 It was as dark as the pit; and
I thought I'd won my wager; when; phewt! down went something
inside; and down went somebody with it。 I made one leap; and was
off like a rocket。 It was my poor friend in person; and if he'd
caught and passed me on to the watchman under the window; I
should have felt no viler rogue than I feel just now。
MOORE。 I s'pose he knows you pretty well by this time?
BRODIE。 'Tis the worst of friendship。 Here; Kirsty; fill these
glasses。 Moore; here's better luck … and a more honourable
plant! … next time。
MOORE。 Deacon; I looks towards you。 But it looks thundering
like rotten eggs; don't it?
BRODIE。 I think not。 I was masked; for one thing; and for
another I was as quick as lightning。 He suspects me so little
that he dined with me this very afternoon。
MOORE。 Anyway; you ain't game to try it on again; I'll lay odds
on that。 Once bit; twice shy。 That's your motto。
BRODIE。 Right again。 I'll put my ALIBI to a better use。 And;
Badger; one word in your ear: there's no Newcastle Jemmy about
ME。 Drop the subject; and for good; or I shall drop you。 (HE
RISES; AND WALKS BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS; A LITTLE UNSTEADILY。
THEN RETURNS; AND SITS L。; AS BEFORE。)
SCENE II
To these; HUNT; disguised He is disguised as a 'flying stationer'
with a patch over his eye。 He sits at table opposite BRODIE'S
and is served with bread and cheese and beer。
HAMILTON (FROM BEHIND)。 The deevil tak' the cairts!
AINSLIE。 Hoot; man; dinna blame the cairts。
MOORE。 Look here; Deacon; I mean business; I do。 (HUNT LOOKS UP
AT THE NAME OF 'DEACON。')
BRODIE。 Gad; Badger; I never meet you that you do not。 'You
have a set of the most commercial intentions!' You make me
blush。
MOORE。 That's all blazing fine; that is! But wot I ses is; wot
about the chips? That's what I ses。 I'm after that thundering
old Ex