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Mr。 Joseph Onions； of the Broadway； Hammersmith； auctioneer and
house agent； expressed himself to our representative as most
surprised at the turn that events had subsequently taken。 The
letter that Mr。 Onions received from Miss Comfort Price was explicit
and definite。 It was to the effect that if he would call upon a
certain Mr。 Quincey； of Harcourt Buildings； Temple； and acknowledge
that it was he who began the row at the Earl's Court Exhibition on
the evening of the twenty…seventh； that then the engagement between
himself and Miss Price； hitherto unacknowledged by the lady； might
be regarded as a fact。
Mr。 Onions； who describes himself as essentially a business man；
decided before complying with Miss Price's request to take a few
preliminary steps。 As the result of judiciously conducted
inquiries； first at the Vine Street Police Station； and secondly at
Twickenham； Mr。 Onions arrived later in the day at Mr。 Quincey's
chambers； with； to use his own expression； all the cards in his
hand。 It was Mr。 Quincey who； professing himself unable to comply
with Mr。 Onion's suggestion； arranged the interview with Miss
Bulstrode。 And it was Miss Bulstrode herself who； on condition that
Mr。 Onions added to the undertaking the further condition that he
would marry Miss Price before the end of the month； offered to make
it two hundred。 It was in their joint interestMr。 Onions
regarding himself and Miss Price as now onethat Mr。 Onions
suggested her making it three； using such arguments as； under the
circumstances； naturally occurred to himas； for example； the
damage caused to the lady's reputation by the whole proceedings；
culminating in a night spent by the lady； according to her own
account； on Ham Common。 That the price demanded was reasonable Mr。
Onions considers as proved by Miss Bulstrode's eventual acceptance
of his terms。 That； having got out of him all that he wanted； Mr。
Quincey should have 〃considered it his duty〃 to communicate the
entire details of the transaction to Miss Price； through the medium
of Mr。 Andrews； thinking it 〃as well she should know the character
of the man she proposed to marry；〃 Mr。 Onions considers a gross
breach of etiquette as between gentlemen； and having regard to Miss
Price's after behaviour； Mr。 Onions can only say that she is not the
girl he took her for。
Mr。 Aaron Andrews； on whom our representative called； was desirous
at first of not being drawn into the matter； but on our
representative explaining to him that our only desire was to
contradict false rumours likely to be harmful to Mr。 Parable's
reputation； Mr。 Andrews saw the necessity of putting our
representative in possession of the truth。
She came back on Tuesday afternoon； explained Mr。 Andrews； and I had
a talk with her。
〃It is all right； Mr。 Andrews；〃 she told me； 〃they've been in
communication with my young man； and Miss Bulstrode has seen the
magistrate privately。 The case will be dismissed with a fine of
forty shillings； and Mr。 Quincey has arranged to keep it out of the
papers。〃
〃Well； all's well that ends well；〃 I answered； 〃but it might have
been better； my girl； if you had mentioned that young man of yours a
bit earlier。〃
〃I did not know it was of any importance；〃 she explained。 〃Mr。
Parable told me nothing。 If it hadn't been for chance； I should
never have known what was happening。〃
I had always liked the young woman。 Mr。 Quincey had suggested my
waiting till after Wednesday。 But there seemed to me no particular
object in delay。
〃Are you fond of him？〃 I asked her。
〃Yes；〃 she answered。 〃I am fonder than〃 And then she stopped
herself suddenly and flared scarlet。 〃Who are you talking about？〃
she demanded。
〃This young man of yours；〃 I said。 〃Mr。What's his nameOnions？〃
〃Oh； that？〃 she answered。 〃Oh； yes； he's all right。〃
〃And if he wasn't？〃 I said； and she looked at me hard。
〃I told him；〃 she said； 〃that if he would do what I asked him to do；
I'd marry him。 And he seems to have done it。〃
〃There are ways of doing everything；〃 I said； and； seeing it wasn't
going to break her heart； I told her just the plain facts。 She
listened without a word； and when I had finished she put her arms
round my neck and kissed me。 I am old enough to be her grandfather；
but twenty years ago it might have upset me。
〃I think I shall be able to save Miss Bulstrode that three hundred
pounds；〃 she laughed； and ran upstairs and changed her things。 When
later I looked into the kitchen she was humming。
Mr。 John came up by the car； and I could see he was in one of his
moods。
〃Pack me some things for a walking tour；〃 he said。 〃Don't forget
the knapsack。 I am going to Scotland by the eight…thirty。〃
〃Will you be away long？〃 I asked him。
〃It depends upon how long it takes me；〃 he answered。 〃When I come
back I am going to be married。〃
〃Who is the lady？〃 I asked； though； of course； I knew。
〃Miss Bulstrode；〃 he said。
〃Well；〃 I said； 〃she〃
〃That will do；〃 he said； 〃I have had all that from the three of them
for the last two days。 She is a Socialist； and a Suffragist； and
all the rest of it； and my ideal helpmate。 She is well off； and
that will enable me to devote all my time to putting the world to
rights without bothering about anything else。 Our home will be the
nursery of advanced ideas。 We shall share together the joys and
delights of the public platform。 What more can any man want？〃
〃You will want your dinner early；〃 I said； 〃if you are going by the
eight…thirty。 I had better tell cook〃
He interrupted me again。
〃You can tell cook to go to the devil；〃 he said。
I naturally stared at him。
〃She is going to marry a beastly little rotter of a rent collector
that she doesn't care a damn for；〃 he went on。
I could not understand why he seemed so mad about it。
〃I don't see； in any case； what it's got to do with you；〃 I said；
〃but； as a matter of fact； she isn't。〃
〃Isn't what？〃 he said； stopping short and turning on me。
〃Isn't going to marry him；〃 I answered。
〃Why not？〃 he demanded。
〃Better ask her；〃 I suggested。
I didn't know at the time that it was a silly thing to say； and I am
not sure that I should not have said it if I had。 When he is in one
of his moods I always seem to get into one of mine。 I have looked
after Mr。 John ever since he was a baby； so that we do not either of
us treat the other quite as perhaps we ought to。
〃Tell cook I want her；〃 he said。
〃She is just in the middle〃 I began。
〃I don't care where she is；〃 he said。 He seemed determined never to
let me finish a sentence。 〃Send her up here。〃
She was in the kitchen by herself。
〃He wants to see you at once；〃 I said。
〃Who does？〃 she asked。
〃Mr。 John；〃 I said。
〃What's he want to see me for？〃 she asked。
〃How do I know？〃 I answered。
〃But you do；〃 she said。 She always had an obstinate twist in her；
and； feeling it would save time； I told her what had happened。
〃Well；〃 I said； 〃aren't you going？〃
She was standing stock still staring at the pastry she was making。
She turned to me； and there was a curious smile about her lips。