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sparkled。 And； curiously enough； Nekhludoff was suddenly reminded
of Mariette； because he again felt both attracted and disgusted
just as when in the theatre。
Having hurriedly passed her； Nekhludoff turned off on to the
Morskaya； and passed on to the embankment； where； to the surprise
of a policeman； he began pacing up and down the pavement。
〃The other one gave me just such a smile when I entered the
theatre；〃 he thought； 〃and the meaning of the smile was the same。
The only difference is； that this one said plainly； 'If you want
me； take me； if not； go your way；' and the other one pretended
that she was not thinking of this； but living in some high and
refined state； while this was really at the root。 Besides； this
one was driven to it by necessity； while the other amused herself
by playing with that enchanting； disgusting； frightful passion。
This woman of the street was like stagnant； smelling water
offered to those whose thirst was greater than their disgust；
that other one in the theatre was like the poison which；
unnoticed； poisons everything it gets into。〃
Nekhludoff recalled his liaison with the Marechal's wife； and
shameful memories rose before him。
〃The animalism of the brute nature in man is disgusting；〃 thought
he； 〃but as long as it remains in its naked form we observe it
from the height of our spiritual life and despise it；
andwhether one has fallen or resistedone remains what one was
before。 But when that same animalism hides under a cloak of
poetry and aesthetic feeling and demands our worshipthen we are
swallowed up by it completely； and worship animalism； no longer
distinguishing good from evil。 Then it is awful。〃
Nekhludoff perceived all this now as clearly as he saw the
palace； the sentinels； the fortress； the river； the boats； and
the Stock Exchange。 And just as on this northern summer night
there was no restful darkness on the earth； but only a dismal；
dull light coming from an invisible source； so in Nekhludoff's
soul there was no longer the restful darkness； ignorance。
Everything seemed clear。 It was clear that everything considered
important and good was insignificant and repulsive； and that all
the glamour and luxury hid the old； well…known crimes； which not
only remained unpunished but were adorned with all the splendour
which men were capable of inventing。
Nekhludoff wished to forget all this； not to see it； but he could
no longer help seeing it。 Though he could not see the source of
the light which revealed it to him any more than he could see the
source of the light which lay over Petersburg； and though the
light appeared to him dull； dismal； and unnatural； yet he could
not help seeing what it revealed； and he felt both joyful and
anxious。
CHAPTER XXIX。
FOR HER SAKE AND FOR GOD'S。
On his return to Moscow Nekhludoff went at once to the prison
hospital to bring Maslova the sad news that the Senate had
confirmed the decision of the Court； and that she must prepare to
go to Siberia。 He had little hope of the success of his petition
to the Emperor； which the advocate had written for him； and which
he now brought with him for Maslova to sign。 And； strange to say；
he did not at present even wish to succeed； he had got used to
the thought of going to Siberia and living among the exiled and
the convicts； and he could not easily picture to himself how his
life and Maslova's would shape if she were acquitted。 He
remembered the thought of the American writer； Thoreau； who at
the time when slavery existed in America said that 〃under a
government that imprisons any unjustly the true place for a just
man is also a prison。〃 Nekhludoff； especially after his visit to
Petersburg and all he discovered there； thought in the same way。
〃Yes； the only place befitting an honest man in Russia at the
present time is a prison；〃 he thought； and even felt that this
applied to him personally； when he drove up to the prison and
entered its walls。
The doorkeeper recognised Nekhludoff； and told him at once that
Maslova was no longer there。
〃Where is she； then？〃
〃In the cell again。〃
〃Why has she been removed？〃 Nekhludoff asked。
〃Oh； your excellency； what are such people？〃 said the doorkeeper；
contemptuously。 〃She's been carrying on with the medical
assistant； so the head doctor ordered her back。〃
Nekhludoff had had no idea how near Maslova and the state of her
mind were to him。 He was stunned by the news。
He felt as one feels at the news of a great and unforeseen
misfortune； and his pain was very severe。 His first feeling was
one of shame。 He； with his joyful idea of the change that he
imagined was going on in her soul； now seemed ridiculous in his
own eyes。 He thought that all her pretence of not wishing to
accept his sacrifice； all the reproaches and tears； were only the
devices of a depraved woman； who wished to use him to the best
advantage。 He seemed to remember having seen signs of obduracy at
his last interview with her。 All this flashed through his mind as
he instinctively put on his hat and left the hospital。
〃What am I to do now？ Am I still bound to her？ Has this action of
hers not set me free？〃 And as he put these questions to himself
he knew at once that if he considered himself free； and threw her
up； he would be punishing himself； and not her； which was what he
wished to do； and he was seized with fear。
〃No； what has happened cannot alterit can only strengthen my
resolve。 Let her do what flows from the state her mind is in。 If
it is carrying on with the medical assistant； let her carry on
with the medical assistant； that is her business。 I must do what
my conscience demands of me。 And my conscience expects me to
sacrifice my freedom。 My resolution to marry her； if only in
form； and to follow wherever she may be sent； remains
unalterable。〃 Nekhludoff said all this to himself with vicious
obstinacy as he left the hospital and walked with resolute steps
towards the big gates of the prison。 He asked the warder on duty
at the gate to inform the inspector that he wished to see
Maslova。 The warder knew Nekhludoff； and told him of an important
change that had taken place in the prison。 The old inspector had
been discharged； and a new； very severe official appointed in his
place。
〃They are so strict nowadays； it's just awful；〃 said the jailer。
〃He is in here； they will let him know directly。〃
The new inspector was in the prison and soon came to Nekhludoff。
He was a tall； angular man； with high cheek bones； morose； and
very slow in his movements。
〃Interviews are allowed in the visiting room on the appointed
days；〃 he said； without looking at Nekhludoff。
〃But I have a petition to the Emperor； which I want signed。〃
〃You can give it to me。〃
〃I must see the prisoner myself。 I was always allowed to before。〃
〃That was so； before；〃 said the inspector； with a furtive glance
at Nekhludoff。
〃I have a permission from the governor；〃 insisted Nekhludoff； and
took out his pocket…book。
〃Allow me；〃 said the inspector； taking the paper from Nekhludoff
with his long； dry； white fingers； on the first of which was a
gold ring； still without looking him in the eyes。 He read th