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〃The Princess unaware； caught her squid and rose to the surface。
The man…eater rushed me。 I fended him off with both hands on his
nose above his thousand…toothed open mouth； so that he backed me
against the sharp coral。 The scars are there to this day。
Whenever I tried to rise； he rushed me； and I could not remain down
there indefinitely without air。 Whenever he rushed me； I fended
him off with my hands on his nose。 And I would have escaped
unharmed； except for the slip of my right hand。 Into his mouth it
went to the elbow。 His jaws closed； just below the elbow。 You
know how a shark's teeth are。 Once in they cannot be released。
They must go through to complete the bite； but they cannot go
through heavy bone。 So； from just below the elbow he stripped the
bone clean to the articulation of the wrist…joint； where his teeth
met and my good right hand became his for an appetizer。
〃But while he was doing this； I drove the thumb of my left hand； to
the hilt into his eye…orifice and popped out his eye。 This did not
stop him。 The meat had maddened him。 He pursued the gushing stump
of my wrist。 Half a dozen times I fended with my intact arm。 Then
he got the poor mangled arm again； closed down； and stripped the
meat off the bone from the shoulder down to the elbow…joint； where
his teeth met and he was free of his second mouthful of me。 But；
at the same time； with my good arm； I thumbed out his remaining
eye。〃
Percival Delaney shrugged his shoulders； ere he resumed。
〃From above； those in the canoe had beheld the entire happening and
were loud in praise of my deed。 To this day they still sing the
song of me； and tell the tale of me。 And the Princess。〃 His pause
was brief but significant。 〃The Princess married me。 。 。 。 Oh；
well…a…day and lack…a…day； the whirligig of time and fortune； the
topsyturviness of luck； the wooden shoe going up and the polished
heel descending a French gunboat； a conquered island kingdom of
Oceania； to…day ruled over by a peasant…born； unlettered； colonial
gendarme； and 。 。 。 〃
He completed the sentence and the tale by burying his face in the
down…tilted mouth of the condensed milk can and by gurgling the
corrosive drink down his throat in thirsty gulps。
After an appropriate pause； Chauncey Delarouse； otherwise Whiskers；
took up the tale。
〃Far be it from me to boast of no matter what place of birth I have
descended from to sit here by this fire with such as 。 。 。 as
chance along。 I may say； however； that I； too； was once a
considerable figure of a man。 I may add that it was horses； plus
parents too indulgent； that exiled me out over the world。 I may
still wonder to query： 'Are Dover's cliffs still white？'〃
〃Huh！〃 Bruce Cadogan Cavendish sneered。 〃Next you'll be asking：
'How fares the old Lord Warden？'〃
〃And I took every liberty； and vainly； with a constitution that was
iron；〃 Whiskers hurried on。 〃Here I am with my three score and ten
behind me； and back on that long road have I buried many a
youngster that was as rare and devilish as I； but who could not
stand the pace。 I knew the worst too young。 And now I know the
worst too old。 But there was a time； alas all too short； when I
knew； the best。
〃I； too； kiss my hand to the Princess of my heart。 She was truly a
princess； Polynesian； a thousand miles and more away to the
eastward and the south from Delaney's Isle of Love。 The natives of
all around that part of the South Seas called it the Jolly Island。
Their own name； the name of the people who dwelt thereon；
translates delicately and justly into 'The Island of Tranquil
Laughter。' On the chart you will find the erroneous name given to
it by the old navigators to be Manatomana。 The seafaring gentry
the round ocean around called it the Adamless Eden。 And the
missionaries for a time called it God's Witness … so great had been
their success at converting the inhabitants。 As for me； it was；
and ever shall be； Paradise。
〃It was MY Paradise； for it was there my Princess lived。 John
Asibeli Tungi was king。 He was full…blooded native； descended out
of the oldest and highest chief…stock that traced back to Manua
which was the primeval sea home of the race。 Also was he known as
John the Apostate。 He lived a long life and apostasized
frequently。 First converted by the Catholics； he threw down the
idols； broke the tabus； cleaned out the native priests； executed a
few of the recalcitrant ones； and sent all his subjects to church。
〃Next he fell for the traders； who developed in him a champagne
thirst； and he shipped off the Catholic priests to New Zealand。
The great majority of his subjects always followed his lead； and；
having no religion at all； ensued the time of the Great
Licentiousness； when by all South Seas missionaries his island； in
sermons； was spoken of as Babylon。
〃But the traders ruined his digestion with too much champagne； and
after several years he fell for the Gospel according to the
Methodists； sent his people to church； and cleaned up the beach and
the trading crowd so spick and span that he would not permit them
to smoke a pipe out of doors on Sunday； and； fined one of the chief
traders one hundred gold sovereigns for washing his schooner's
decks on the Sabbath morn。
〃That was the time of the Blue Laws； but perhaps it was too
rigorous for King John。 Off he packed the Methodists； one fine
day； exiled several hundred of his people to Samoa for sticking to
Methodism； and； of all things； invented a religion of his own； with
himself the figure…head of worship。 In this he was aided and
abetted by a renegade Fijian。 This lasted five years。 Maybe he
grew tired of being God； or maybe it was because the Fijian
decamped with the six thousand pounds in the royal treasury； but at
any rate the Second Reformed Wesleyans got him； and his entire
kingdom went Wesleyan。 The pioneer Wesleyan missionary he actually
made prime minister； and what he did to the trading crowd was a
caution。 Why； in the end； King John's kingdom was blacklisted and
boycotted by the traders till the revenues diminished to zero； the
people went bankrupt； and King John couldn't borrow a shilling from
his most powerful chief。
〃By this time he was getting old； and philosophic； and tolerant；
and spiritually atavistic。 He fired out the Second Reformed
Wesleyans； called back the exiles from Samoa； invited in the
traders； held a general love…feast； took the lid off； proclaimed
religious liberty and high tariff； and as for himself went back to
the worship of his ancestors； dug up the idols； reinstated a few
octogenarian priests； and observed the tabus。 All of which was
lovely for the traders； and prosperity reigned。 Of course； most of
his subjects followed him back into heathen worship。 Yet quite a
sprinkling of Catholics； Methodists and Wesleyans remained true to
their beliefs and managed to maintain a few squalid； one…horse