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s one remember him as a man of strong and energetic faculties。 In fact； it is impossible not to think about him； and now that he appears to have relieved me of his presence； I an conscious of a voidthat sort of void the ear feels when a sharp and piercing noise which has long annoyed it ceases。 What I am going to add may seem to you great foolishness； but are we always mistress of such mirages of the imagination？
I have often told you of my arguments with Louise de Chaulieu in relation to the manner in which women ought to look at life。 I used to tell her that the passion with which she never ceased to pursue the ideal was ill…regulated and fatal to happiness。 To this she answered： 〃You have never loved； my dearest； love has this rare phenomenon about it： we may live all our lives without ever meeting the being to whom nature has assigned the power of making us happy。 But if the day of splendor comes when that being unexpectedly awakes your heart from sleep； what will you do then？〃 ＇See 〃Memoirs of Two Young Married Women。〃＇
The words of those about to die are often prophetic。 What if this man were to be the tardy serpent with whom Louise threatened me？ That he could ever be really dangerous to me； that he could make me fail in my duty； that is certainly not what I fear； I am strong against all such extremes。 But I did not； like you； my dear Madame de Camps； marry a man whom my heart had chosen。 It was only by dint of patience； determination； and reason that I was able to build up the solid and serious attachment which binds me to Monsieur de l'Estorade。 Ought I not； therefore； to be doubly cautious lest anything distract me from that sentiment； be it only the diversion of my thoughts in this annoying manner； to another man？
I shall say to you； as； MONSIEUR； Louis XIV。's brother； said to his wife； to whom he was in the habit of showing what he had written and asking her to decipher it： See into my heart and mind； dear friend； disperse the mists； quiet the worries； and the flux and reflux of will which this affair stirs up in me。 My poor Louise was mistaken； was she not？ I am not a woman； am I； on whom the passion of love could gain a foothold？ The man who； on some glorious day； will render me happy is my Armand； my Rene； my Nais； three angels for whom I have hitherto livedthere can never be for me； I feel it deeply； another passion！
V
THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE TO MADAME OCTAVE DE CAMPS
Paris； March； 1839。
About the year 1820 in the course of the same week two /news/ （to use the schoolboy phrase of my son Armand） entered the college of Tours。 One had a charming face； the other would have been thought ugly if health； frankness； and intelligence beaming on his features had not compensated for their irregularity and inelegance。
Here you will stop me； and ask whether I have come to the end of my own adventure； that I should now be writing this feuilleton…story。 No； this tale is really a continuation of that adventure； though it seems little like it； so； give it your best attention and do not interrupt me again。
One of these lads； the handsome one； was dreamy； contemplative； and a trifle /elegaic/； the other； ardent； impetuous； and always in action。 They were two natures which completed each other； a priceless blessing to every friendship that is destined to last。 Both had the same bar… sinister on them at their birth。 The dreamer was the natural son of the unfortunate Lady Brandon。 His name was Marie…Gaston； which； indeed； seems hardly an actual name。 The other； born of wholly unknown parents； was named Dorlange； which is certainly no name at all。 Dorlange； Valmon； Volmar； Melcourt； are heard upon the stage and nowhere else； already they belong to a past style； and will soon rejoin Alceste； Arnolphe； Clitandre； Damis； Eraste； Philinte； and Arsinoe。
Another reason why the poor ill…born lads should cling together was the cruel abandonment to which they were consigned。 For the seven years their studies lasted there was not a day； even during the holidays； when the door of their prison opened。 Now and then Marie… Gaston received a visit from an old woman who had served his mother； through her the quarterly payment for his schooling was regularly made。 That of Dorlange was also made with great punctuality through a banker in Tours。 A point to be remarked is that the price paid for the schooling of the latter was the highest which the rules of the establishment allowed； hence the conclusion that his unknown parents were persons in easy circumstances。 Among his comrades； Dorlange attained to a certain respect which； had it been withheld； he would very well have known how to enforce with his fists。 But under their breaths； his comrades remarked that he was never sent for to see friends in the parlor； and that outside the college walls no one appeared to take an interest in him。
The two lads； who were both destined to become distinguished men； were poor scholars； though each had his own way of studying。 By the time he was fifteen Marie…Gaston had written a volume of verses； satires； elegies； meditations； not to speak of two tragedies。 The favorite studies of Dorlange led him to steal logs of wood； out of which； with his knife； he carved madonnas； grotesque figures； fencing…masters； saints； grenadiers of the Old Guard； and； but this was secretly； Napoleons。
In 1827； their school…days ended； the two friends left college together and were sent to Paris。 A place had been chosen for Dorlange in the atelier of the sculptor Bosio； and from that moment a rather fantastic course was pursued by an unseen protection that hovered over him。 When he reached the house in Paris to which the head…master of the school had sent him； he found a dainty little apartment prepared for his reception。 Under the glass shade of the clock was a large envelope addressed to him； so placed as to strike his eye the moment that he entered the room。 In that envelope was a note； written in pencil； containing these words：
The day after your arrival in Paris go at eight in the morning punctually to the garden of the Luxembourg； Allee de l'Observatoire； fourth bench to the right； starting from the gate。 This order is strict。 Do not fail to obey it。
Punctual to the minute； Dorlange was not long at the place of rendezvous before he was met by a very small man； whose enormous head； bearing an immense shock of hair； together with a pointed nose； chin； and crooked legs made him seem like a being escaped from one of Hoffman's tales。 Without saying a word； for to his other physical advantages this weird messenger added that of being deaf and dumb； he placed in the young man's hand a letter and a purse。 The letter said that the family of Dorlange were glad to see that he wished to devote himself to art。 They urged him to work bravely and to profit by the instructions of the great master under whose direction he was placed。 They hoped he would live virtuously； and； in any case； an eye would be kept upon his conduct。 There was no desire； the letter went on to say； that he should be deprived of the respectable amusements of his age。 For his needs and for his pleasures； he might count upon the sum of six hundred and fifty francs every three