按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
gazing upon the stars; longed for some princely love。 She thought
of him; of Leon。 She would then have given anything for a single
one of those meetings that surfeited her。
These were her gala days。 She wanted them to be sumptuous; and
when he alone could not pay the expenses; she made up the deficit
liberally; which happened pretty well every time。 He tried to
make her understand that they would be quite as comfortable
somewhere else; in a smaller hotel; but she always found some
objection。
One day she drew six small silver…gilt spoons from her bag (they
were old Roualt's wedding present); begging him to pawn them at
once for her; and Leon obeyed; though the proceeding annoyed him。
He was afraid of compromising himself。
Then; on; reflection; he began to think his mistress's ways were
growing odd; and that they were perhaps not wrong in wishing to
separate him from her。
In fact someone had sent his mother a long anonymous letter to
warn her that he was 〃ruining himself with a married woman;〃 and
the good lady at once conjuring up the eternal bugbear of
families the vague pernicious creature; the siren; the monster;
who dwells fantastically in depths of love; wrote to Lawyer
Dubocage; his employer; who behaved perfectly in the affair。 He
kept him for three quarters of an hour trying to open his eyes;
to warn him of the abyss into which he was falling。 Such an
intrigue would damage him later on; when he set up for himself。
He implored him to break with her; and; if he would not make this
sacrifice in his own interest; to do it at least for his;
Dubocage's sake。
At last Leon swore he would not see Emma again; and he reproached
himself with not having kept his word; considering all the worry
and lectures this woman might still draw down upon him; without
reckoning the jokes made by his companions as they sat round the
stove in the morning。 Besides; he was soon to be head clerk; it
was time to settle down。 So he gave up his flute; exalted
sentiments; and poetry; for every bourgeois in the flush of his
youth; were it but for a day; a moment; has believed himself
capable of immense passions; of lofty enterprises。 The most
mediocre libertine has dreamed of sultanas; every notary bears
within him the debris of a poet。
He was bored now when Emma suddenly began to sob on his breast;
and his heart; like the people who can only stand a certain
amount of music; dozed to the sound of a love whose delicacies he
no longer noted。
They knew one another too well for any of those surprises of
possession that increase its joys a hundred…fold。 She was as sick
of him as he was weary of her。 Emma found again in adultery all
the platitudes of marriage。
But how to get rid of him? Then; though she might feel humiliated
at the baseness of such enjoyment; she clung to it from habit or
from corruption; and each day she hungered after them the more;
exhausting all felicity in wishing for too much of it。 She
accused Leon of her baffled hopes; as if he had betrayed her; and
she even longed for some catastrophe that would bring about their
separation; since she had not the courage to make up her mind to
it herself。
She none the less went on writing him love letters; in virtue of
the notion that a woman must write to her lover。
But whilst she wrote it was another man she saw; a phantom
fashioned out of her most ardent memories; of her finest reading;
her strongest lusts; and at last he became so real; so tangible;
that she palpitated wondering; without; however; the power to
imagine him clearly; so lost was he; like a god; beneath the
abundance of his attributes。 He dwelt in that azure land where
silk ladders hang from balconies under the breath of flowers; in
the light of the moon。 She felt him near her; he was coming; and
would carry her right away in a kiss。
Then she fell back exhausted; for these transports of vague love
wearied her more than great debauchery。
She now felt constant ache all over her。 Often she even received
summonses; stamped paper that she barely looked at。 She would
have liked not to be alive; or to be always asleep。
On Mid…Lent she did not return to Yonville; but in the evening
went to a masked ball。 She wore velvet breeches; red stockings; a
club wig; and three…cornered hat cocked on one side。 She danced
all night to the wild tones of the trombones; people gathered
round her; and in the morning she found herself on the steps of
the theatre together with five or six masks; debardeuses* and
sailors; Leon's comrades; who were talking about having supper。
* People dressed as longshoremen。
The neighbouring cafes were full。 They caught sight of one on the
harbour; a very indifferent restaurant; whose proprietor showed
them to a little room on the fourth floor。
The men were whispering in a corner; no doubt consorting about
expenses。 There were a clerk; two medical students; and a
shopmanwhat company for her! As to the women; Emma soon
perceived from the tone of their voices that they must almost
belong to the lowest class。 Then she was frightened; pushed back
her chair; and cast down her eyes。
The others began to eat; she ate nothing。 Her head was on fire;
her eyes smarted; and her skin was ice…cold。 In her head she
seemed to feel the floor of the ball…room rebounding again
beneath the rhythmical pulsation of the thousands of dancing
feet。 And now the smell of the punch; the smoke of the cigars;
made her giddy。 She fainted; and they carried her to the window。
Day was breaking; and a great stain of purple colour broadened
out in the pale horizon over the St。 Catherine hills。 The livid
river was shivering in the wind; there was no one on the bridges;
the street lamps were going out。
She revived; and began thinking of Berthe asleep yonder in the
servant's room。 Then a cart filled with long strips of iron
passed by; and made a deafening metallic vibration against the
walls of the houses。
She slipped away suddenly; threw off her costume; told Leon she
must get back; and at last was alone at the Hotel de Boulogne。
Everything; even herself; was now unbearable to her。 She wished
that; taking wing like a bird; she could fly somewhere; far away
to regions of purity; and there grow young again。
She went out; crossed the Boulevard; the Place Cauchoise; and the
Faubourg; as far as an open street that overlooked some gardens。
She walked rapidly; the fresh air calming her; and; little by
little; the faces of the crowd; the masks; the quadrilles; the
lights; the supper; those women; all disappeared like mists
fading away。 Then; reaching the 〃Croix…Rouge;〃 she threw herself
on the bed in her little room on the second floor; where there
were pictures of the 〃Tour de Nesle。〃 At four o'clock Hivert
awoke her。
When she got home; Felicite showed her behind the clock a grey
paper。 She read
〃In virtue of the seizure in execution of a judgment。〃
What judgment? As a matter of fact; the evening before another
paper had been brought that she had not yet seen; and she was
stunned by these words
〃By order of the king; law; and justice; to Madame Bovary。〃 Then;
skipping several lines; she read; 〃Within twen