按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
moonlight； but always into this awful frankness of blunt and
outspoken nature。 She hesitated； and turned the corner into the
olive shadows。 It was； perhaps； more dangerous； but less shameless；
and less like truckling。 And the appallingly direct Clarence
instantly followed。
〃I know you will despise me； hate me； and； perhaps； worst of all；
disbelieve me； but I swear to you； now； that I have always loved
you；yes； ALWAYS！ When first I came here； it was not to see my old
playmate； but YOU； for I had kept the memory of you as I first saw
you when a boy； and you have always been my ideal。 I have thought
of； dreamed of； worshiped； and lived for no other woman。 Even when
I found Susy again； grown up here at your side； even when I thought
that I might； with your consent； marry her； it was that I might be
with YOU always； that I might be a part of YOUR home； your family；
and have a place with her in YOUR heart； for it was you I loved； and
YOU only。 Don't laugh at me； Mrs。 Peyton； it is the truth； the
whole truth； I am telling you。 God help me！〃
If she only COULD have laughed；harshly； ironically； or even
mercifully and kindly！ But it would not come。 And she burst out：
〃I am not laughing。 Good heavens； don't you see？ It is ME you are
making ridiculous。〃
〃YOU ridiculous？〃 he said in a momentarily choked； half…stupefied
voice。 〃Youa beautiful woman； my superior in everything； the
mistress of these lands where I am only stewardmade ridiculous；
not by my presumption； but by my confession？ Was the saint you just
now admired in Father Esteban's chapel ridiculous because of the
peon clowns who were kneeling before it？〃
〃Hush！ This is wicked！ Stop！〃
She felt she was now on firm ground； and made the most of it in
voice and manner。 She must draw the line somewhere； and she would
draw it between passion and impiety。
〃Not until I have told you all； and I MUST before I leave you。 I
loved you when I came here；even when your husband was alive。
Don't be angry； Mrs。 Peyton； HE would not； and need not； have been
angry； he would have pitied the foolish boy； who； in the very
innocence and ignorance of his passion； might have revealed it to
him as he did to everybody but ONE。 And yet； I sometimes think you
might have guessed it； had you thought of me at all。 It must have
been on my lips that day I sat with you in the boudoir。 I know that
I was filled with it； with it and with you； with your presence； with
your beauty； your grace of heart and mind；yes； Mrs。 Peyton； even
with your own unrequited love for Susy。 Only； then； I knew not what
it was。〃
〃But I think I can tell you what it was then； and now；〃 said Mrs。
Peyton； recovering her nervous little laugh； though it died a moment
after on her lips。 〃I remember it very well。 You told me then that
I REMINDED YOU OF YOUR MOTHER。 Well； I am not old enough to be your
mother； Mr。 Brant； but I am old enough to have been； and might have
been； the mother of your wife。 That was what you meant then； that
is what you mean now。 I was wrong to accuse you of trying to make
me ridiculous。 I ask your pardon。 Let us leave it as it was that
day in the boudoir； as it is NOW。 Let me still remind you of your
mother；I know she must have been a good woman to have had so good
a son；and when you have found some sweet young girl to make you
happy； come to me for a mother's blessing； and we will laugh at the
recollection and misunderstanding of this evening。〃
Her voice did not； however； exhibit that exquisite maternal
tenderness which the beatific vision ought to have called up； and
the persistent voice of Clarence could not be evaded in the shadow。
〃I said you reminded me of my mother；〃 he went on at her side；
〃because I knew her and lost her only as a child。 She never was
anything to me but a memory； and yet an ideal of all that was sweet
and lovable in woman。 Perhaps it was a dream of what she might have
been when she was as young in years as you。 If it pleases you still
to misunderstand me； it may please you also to know that there is a
reminder of her even in this。 I have no remembrance of a word of
affection from her； nor a caress； I have been as hopeless in my love
for her who was my mother； as of the woman I would make my wife。〃
〃But you have seen no one； you know no one； you are young； you
scarcely know your own self！ You will forget this； you will forget
ME！ And ififI shouldlisten to you； what would the world say；
what would YOU yourself say a few years hence？ Oh； be reasonable。
Think of it；it would be so wild；so mad！ sosoutterly
ridiculous！〃
In proof of its ludicrous quality； two tears escaped her eyes in the
darkness。 But Clarence caught the white flash of her withdrawn
handkerchief in the shadow； and captured her returning hand。 It was
trembling； but did not struggle； and presently hushed itself to rest
in his。
〃I'm not only a fool but a brute；〃 he said in a lower voice。
〃Forgive me。 I have given you pain；you； for whom I would have
died。〃
They had both stopped。 He was still holding her sleeping hand。 His
arm had stolen around the burnous so softly that it followed the
curves of her figure as lightly as a fold of the garment； and was
presumably unfelt。 Grief has its privileges； and suffering
exonerates a questionable situation。 In another moment her fair
head MIGHT have dropped upon his shoulder。 But an approaching voice
uprose in the adjoining broad allee。 It might have been the world
speaking through the voice of the lawyer Sanderson。
〃Yes； he is a good fellow； and an intelligent fellow； too； but a
perfect child in his experience of mankind。〃
They both started； but Mrs。 Peyton's hand suddenly woke up and
grasped his firmly。 Then she said in a higher； but perfectly level
tone：
〃Yes； I think with you we had better look at it again in the
sunlight to…morrow。 But here come our friends； they have probably
been waiting for us to join them and go in。〃
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
The wholesome freshness of early morning was in the room when
Clarence awoke； cleared and strengthened。 His resolution had been
made。 He would leave the rancho that morning； to enter the world
again and seek his fortune elsewhere。 This was only right to HER；
whose future it should never be said he had imperiled by his folly
and inexperience； and if； in a year or two of struggle he could
prove his right to address her again； he would return。 He had not
spoken to her since they had parted in the garden； with the grim
truths of the lawyer ringing in his ears； but he had written a few
lines of farewell； to be given to her after he had left。 He was
calm in his resolution； albeit a little pale and hollow…eyed for it。
He crept downstairs in the gray twilight of the scarce…awakened
house； and made his way to the stables。 Saddling his horse； and
mounting； he paced forth int