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it's a peculiar occasion; and it'll show your interest in the thing。 You
can't very well let it cool on your hands; unless you mean to accept the
situation。〃
〃What do you mean?〃 demanded Mavering; getting up and standing over
Boardman。 〃Do you think I could accept the situation; as you call it; and
live?〃
〃You did once;〃 said Boardman。 〃You couldn't; unless you could fix it up
with Mrs。 Frobisher's sister。〃
Mavering blushed。 〃It was a different thing altogether then。 I could
have broken off then; but I tell you it would kill me now。 I've got in
too deep。 My whole life's set on that girl。 You can't understand;
Boardman; because you've never been there; but I couldn't give her up。〃
〃All right。 Better go and see the old lady without loss of time; or the
old man; if you prefer。〃
Mavering sat down on the edge of the bed again。 〃Look here; Boardman;
what do you mean?〃
〃By what?〃
〃By being so confoundedly heartless。 Did you suppose that I wanted to pay
those women any attention last night from an interested motive?〃
〃Seems to have been Miss Pasmer's impression。〃
〃Well; you're mistaken。 She had no such impression。 She would have too
much self…respect; too much pridemagnanimity。 She would know that after
such a girl as she is I couldn't think of any other woman; the thing is
simply impossible。〃
〃That's the theory。〃
〃Theory? It's the practice!〃
〃Certain exceptions。〃
〃There's no exception in my case。 No; sir! I tell you this thing is for
all timefor eternity。 It makes me or it mars me; once for all。 She may
listen to me or she may not listen; but as long as she lives there's no
other woman alive for me。〃
〃Better go and tell her so。 You're wasting your arguments on me。〃
〃Why?〃
〃Because I'm convinced already。 Because people always marry their first
and only loves。 Because people never marry twice for love。 Because I've
never seen you hit before; and I know you never could be again。 Now go
and convince Miss Pasmer。 She'll believe you; because she'll know that
she can never care for any one but you; and you naturally can't care for
anybody but her。 It's a perfectly clear case。 All you've got to do is to
set it before her。〃
〃If I were you; I wouldn't try to work that cynical racket; Boardman;〃
said Mavering。 He rose; but he sighed drearily; and regarded Boardman's
grin with lack…lustre absence。 But he went away without saying anything
more; and walked mechanically toward the Cavendish。 As he rang at the
door of Mrs。 Pasmer's apartments he recalled another early visit he had
paid there; he thought how joyful and exuberant he was then; and how
crushed and desperate now。 He was not without youthful satisfaction in
the disparity of his different moods; it seemed to stamp him as a man of
large and varied experience。
XXXVIII。
Mrs。 Pasmer was genuinely surprised to see Mavering; and he pursued his
advantageif it was an advantageby coming directly to the point。 He
took it for granted that she knew all about the matter; and he threw
himself upon her mercy without delay。
〃Mrs。 Pasmer; you must help me about this business with Alice;〃 he broke
out at once。 〃I don't know what to make of it; but I know I can explain
it。 Of course;〃 he added; smiling ruefully; 〃the two statements don't
hang together; but what I mean is that if I can find out what the trouble
is; I can make it all right; because there's nothing wrong about it; don't
you see?〃
Mrs。 Pasmer tried to keep the mystification out of her eye; but she could
not even succeed in seeming to do so; which she would have liked almost as
well。
〃Don't you know what I mean?〃 asked Dan。
Mrs。 Pasmer chanced it。 〃That Alice was a little out of sorts last
night?〃 she queried leadingly。
〃Yes;〃 said Mavering fervently。 〃And about herher writing to me。〃
〃Writing to you?〃 Mrs。 Pasmer was going to ask; when Dan gave her the
letter。
〃I don't know whether I ought to show it; but I must。 I must have your
help; and I can't; unless you understand the case。〃
Mrs。 Pasmer had begun to read the note。 It explained what the girl
herself had refused to give any satisfactory reason forher early
retirement from the reception; her mysterious disappearance into her own
room on reaching home; and her resolute silence on the way。 Mrs。 Pasmer
had known that there must be some trouble with Dan; and she had suspected
that Alice was vexed with him on account of those women; but it was beyond
her cheerful imagination that she should go to such lengths in her
resentment。 She could conceive of her wishing to punish him; to retaliate
her suffering on him; but to renounce him for it was another thing; and
she did not attribute to her daughter any other motive than she would have
felt herself。 It was always this way with Mrs。 Pasmer: she followed her
daughter accurately up to a certain point; beyond that she did not believe
the girl knew herself what she meant; and perhaps she was not altogether
wrong。 Girlhood is often a turmoil of wild impulses; ignorant
exaltations; mistaken ideals; which really represent no intelligent
purpose; and come from disordered nerves; ill…advised reading; and the
erroneous perspective of inexperience。 Mrs。 Pasmer felt this; and she was
tempted to break into a laugh over Alice's heroics; but she preferred to
keep a serious countenance; partly because she did not feel the least
seriously。 She was instantly resolved not to let this letter accomplish
anything more than Dan's temporary abasement; and she would have preferred
to shorten this to the briefest moment possible。 She liked him; and she
was convinced that Alice could never do better; if half so well。 She
would now have preferred to treat him with familiar confidence; to tell
him that she had no idea of Alice's writing him that nonsensical letter;
and he was not to pay the least attention to it; for of course it meant
nothing; but another principle of her complex nature came into play; and
she silently folded the note and returned it to Dan; trembling before her。
〃Well?〃 he quavered。
〃Well;〃 returned Mrs。 Pasmer judicially; while she enjoyed his tremor;
whose needlessness inwardly amused her〃well; of course; Alice was〃
〃Annoyed; I know。 And it was all my faultor my misfortune。 But I
assure you; Mrs。 Pasmer; that I thought I was doing something that would
please herin the highest and noblest way。 Now don't you know I did?〃
Mrs。 Pasmer again wished to laugh; but in the face of Dan's tragedy she
had to forbear。 She contented herself with saying: 〃Of course。 But
perhaps it wasn't the best time for pleasing her just in that way。〃
〃It was then or never。 I can see nowwhy; I could see all the timejust
how it might look; but I supposed Alice wouldn't care for that; and if I
hadn't tried to make some reparation then to Mrs。 Frobisher and her
sister; I never could。 Don't you see?〃
〃Yes; certainly。 But〃
〃And Alice herself told me to go and look after them;〃 interposed
Mavering。 He suppressed; a little uncandidly; the fact of her first
reluctance。
〃But you know it was the first time you had been out together?〃
〃Yes。〃
〃And naturall