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sympathy except in his tone of humorously frank recognition; 〃Does it
still hurt a little occasionally; Dan?〃
〃Yes; sir; it hurts;〃 said the son; and he turned his face aside; and
whistled through his teeth。
〃Well; it's a trial; I suppose;〃 said his father; with his gentle; soft
half…lisp。 〃But there are greater trials。〃
〃How; greater?〃 asked Dan; with sad incredulity。 〃I've lost all that made
life worth living; and it's all my own fault; too。〃
〃Yes;〃 said his father; 〃I think she was a good girl。〃
〃Good!〃 cried Dan; the word seemed to choke him。
〃Still; I doubt if it's all your fault。〃 Dan looked round at him。 He
added; 〃And I think it's perhaps for the best as it is。〃
Dan halted; and then said; 〃Oh; I suppose so;〃 with dreary resignation; as
they walked on。
〃Let us go round by the paddock;〃 said his father; 〃and see if Pat's put
the horses up yet。 You can hardly remember your mother; before she became
an invalid; I suppose;〃 he added; as Dan mechanically turned aside with
him from the path that led to the house into that leading to the barn。
〃No; I was such a little fellow;〃 said Dan。
〃Women give up a great deal when they marry;〃 said the elder。 〃It's not
strange that they exaggerate the sacrifice; and expect more in return than
it's in the nature of men to give them。 I should have been sorry to have
you marry a woman of an exacting disposition。〃
〃I'm afraid she was exacting;〃 said Dan。 〃But she never asked more than
was right。〃
〃And it's difficult to do all that's right;〃 suggested the elder。
〃I'm sure you always have; father;〃 said the son。
The father did not respond。 〃I wish you could remember your mother when
she was well;〃 he said。 Presently he added; 〃I think it isn't best for a
woman to be too much in love with her husband。〃
Dan took this to himself; and he laughed harshly。 〃She's been able to
dissemble her love at last。〃
His father went on; 〃Women keep the romantic feeling longer than men; it
dies out of us very soonperhaps too soon。〃
〃You think I couldn't have come to time?〃 asked Dan。 〃Well; as it's
turned out; I won't have to。〃
〃No man can be all a woman wishes him to be;〃 said his father。 〃It's
better for the disappointment to come before it's too late。〃
〃I was to blame;〃 said Dan stoutly。 〃She was all right。〃
〃You were to blame in the particular instance;〃 his father answered。 〃But
in general the fault was in heror her temperament。 As long as the
romance lasted she might have deluded herself; and believed you were all
she imagined you; but romance can't last; even with women。 I don like
your faults; and I don't want you to excuse them to yourself。 I don't
like your chancing things; and leaving them to come out all right of
themselves; but I've always tried to make you children see all your
qualities in their true proportion and relation。〃
〃Yes; I know that; sir;〃 said Dan。
〃Perhaps;〃 continued his father; as they swung easily along; shoulder to
shoulder; 〃I may have gone too far in that direction because I was afraid
that you might take your mother too seriously in the otherthat you might
not understand that she judged you from her nerves and not her
convictions。 It's part of her malady; of her suffering; that her
inherited Puritanism clouds her judgment; and makes her see all faults as
of one size and equally damning。 I wish you to know that she was not
always so; but was once able to distinguish differences in error; and to
realise that evil is of ill…will。〃
〃Yes; I know that;〃 said Dan。 〃She is nowwhen she feels well。〃
〃Harm comes from many things; but evil is of the heart。 I wouldn't have
you condemn yourself too severely for harm that you didn't intendthat's
remorsethat's insanity; and I wouldn't have you fall under the
condemnation of another's invalid judgment。〃
〃Thank you; father;〃 said Dan。
They had come up to the paddock behind the barn; and they laid their arms
on the fence while they looked over at the horses; which were still there。
The beasts; in their rough winter coats; some bedaubed with frozen clots
of the mud in which they had been rolling earlier in the afternoon; stood
motionless in the thin; keen breeze that crept over the hillside from the
March sunset; and blew their manes and tails out toward Dan and his
father。 Dan's pony sent him a gleam of recognition from under his frowsy
bangs; but did not stir。
〃Bunch looks like a caterpillar;〃 he said; recalling the time when his
father had given him the pony; he was a boy then; and the pony was as much
to him; it went through his mind; as Alice had ever been。 Was it all a
jest; an irony? he asked himself。
〃He's getting pretty old;〃 said his father。 〃Let's see: you were only
twelve。〃
〃Ten;〃 said Dan。 〃We've had him thirteen years。〃
Some of the horses pricked up their ears at the sound of their voices。
One of them bit another's neck; the victim threw up his heels and
squealed。
Pat called from the stable; 〃Heigh; you divils!〃
〃I think he'd better take them in;〃 said Dan's father; and he continued;
as if it were all the same subject; 〃I hope you'll have seen something
more of the world before you fall in love the next time。〃
〃Thank you; there won't be any next time。 But do you consider the world
such a school of morals; then? I supposed it was a very bad place。〃
〃We seem to have been all born into it;〃 said the father。 He lifted his
arms from the fence; and Dan mechanically followed him into the stable。
A warm; homely smell of hay and of horses filled the place; a lantern
glimmered; a faint blot; in the loft where Pat was pitching some hay
forward to the edge of the boards; the naphtha gas weakly flared from the
jets beside the harness…room; whence a smell of leather issued and mingled
with the other smell。 The simple; earthy wholesomeness of the place
appealed to Dan and comforted him。 The hay began to tumble from the loft
with a pleasant rustling sound。
His father called up to Pat; 〃I think you'd better take the horses in
now。〃
〃Yes; sir: I've got the box…stalls ready for 'em。〃
Dan remembered how he and Eunice used to get into the box…stall with his
pony; and play at circus with it; he stood up on the pony; and his sister
was the ring…master。 The picture of his careless childhood reflected a
deeper pathos upon his troubled present; and he sighed again。
His father said; as they moved on through the barn: 〃Some of the best
people I've ever known were what were called worldly people。 They are apt
to be sincere; and they have none of the spiritual pride; the conceit of
self…righteousness; which often comes to people who are shut up by
conscience or circumstance to the study of their own motives and actions。〃
〃I don't think she was one of that kind;〃 said Dan。
〃Oh; I don't know that she was。 But the chances of happiness; of
goodness; would be greater with a less self…centred personfor you。〃
〃Ah; Yes! For me!〃 said Dan bitterly。 〃Because I hadn't it in me to be
frank with her。 With a man like me; a woman had better be a little
scampish; too! Father; I could get over the loss; she might have died;
and I could have got over tha