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all this and had seldom come near me till now； one evening late in
1860； he called on me； and with a very woebegone face told me his
troubles。
As soon as I found that he no longer liked his wife I forgave him at
once； and was as much interested in him as ever。 There is nothing
an old bachelor likes better than to find a young married man who
wishes he had not got marriedespecially when the case is such an
extreme one that he need not pretend to hope that matters will come
all right again； or encourage his young friend to make the best of
it。
I was myself in favour of a separation； and said I would make Ellen
an allowance myselfof course intending that it should come out of
Ernest's money； but he would not hear of this。 He had married
Ellen； he said； and he must try to reform her。 He hated it； but he
must try； and finding him as usual very obstinate I was obliged to
acquiesce； though with little confidence as to the result。 I was
vexed at seeing him waste himself upon such a barren task； and again
began to feel him burdensome。 I am afraid I showed this； for he
again avoided me for some time； and； indeed； for many months I
hardly saw him at all。
Ellen remained very ill for some days； and then gradually recovered。
Ernest hardly left her till she was out of danger。 When she had
recovered he got the doctor to tell her that if she had such another
attack she would certainly die； this so frightened her that she took
the pledge。
Then he became more hopeful again。 When she was sober she was just
what she was during the first days of her married life； and so quick
was he to forget pain； that after a few days he was as fond of her
as ever。 But Ellen could not forgive him for knowing what he did。
She knew that he was on the watch to shield her from temptation； and
though he did his best to make her think that he had no further
uneasiness about her； she found the burden of her union with
respectability grow more and more heavy upon her； and looked back
more and more longingly upon the lawless freedom of the life she had
led before she met her husband。
I will dwell no longer on this part of my story。 During the spring
months of 1861 she kept straightshe had had her fling of
dissipation； and this； together with the impression made upon her by
her having taken the pledge； tamed her for a while。 The shop went
fairly well； and enabled Ernest to make the two ends meet。 In the
spring and summer of 1861 he even put by a little money again。 In
the autumn his wife was confined of a boya very fine one； so
everyone said。 She soon recovered； and Ernest was beginning to
breathe freely and be almost sanguine when； without a word of
warning； the storm broke again。 He returned one afternoon about two
years after his marriage； and found his wife lying upon the floor
insensible。
From this time he became hopeless； and began to go visibly down
hill。 He had been knocked about too much； and the luck had gone too
long against him。 The wear and tear of the last three years had
told on him； and though not actually ill he was over…worked； below
par； and unfit for any further burden。
He struggled for a while to prevent himself from finding this out；
but facts were too strong for him。 Again he called on me and told
me what had happened。 I was glad the crisis had come； I was sorry
for Ellen； but a complete separation from her was the only chance
for her husband。 Even after this last outbreak he was unwilling to
consent to this； and talked nonsense about dying at his post； till I
got tired of him。 Each time I saw him the old gloom had settled
more and more deeply upon his face； and I had about made up my mind
to put an end to the situation by a coup de main； such as bribing
Ellen to run away with somebody else； or something of that kind；
when matters settled themselves as usual in a way which I had not
anticipated。
CHAPTER LXXVI
The winter had been a trying one。 Ernest had only paid his way by
selling his piano。 With this he seemed to cut away the last link
that connected him with his earlier life； and to sink once for all
into the small shop…keeper。 It seemed to him that however low he
might sink his pain could not last much longer； for he should simply
die if it did。
He hated Ellen now； and the pair lived in open want of harmony with
each other。 If it had not been for his children； he would have left
her and gone to America； but he could not leave the children with
Ellen； and as for taking them with him he did not know how to do it；
nor what to do with them when he had got them to America。 If he had
not lost energy he would probably in the end have taken the children
and gone off； but his nerve was shaken； so day after day went by and
nothing was done。
He had only got a few shillings in the world now； except the value
of his stock； which was very little； he could get perhaps 3 pounds
or 4 pounds by selling his music and what few pictures and pieces of
furniture still belonged to him。 He thought of trying to live by
his pen； but his writing had dropped off long ago； he no longer had
an idea in his head。 Look which way he would he saw no hope； the
end； if it had not actually come； was within easy distance and he
was almost face to face with actual want。 When he saw people going
about poorly clad； or even without shoes and stockings； he wondered
whether within a few months' time he too should not have to go about
in this way。 The remorseless； resistless hand of fate had caught
him in its grip and was dragging him down； down； down。 Still he
staggered on； going his daily rounds； buying second…hand clothes；
and spending his evenings in cleaning and mending them。
One morning； as he was returning from a house at the West End where
he had bought some clothes from one of the servants； he was struck
by a small crowd which had gathered round a space that had been
railed off on the grass near one of the paths in the Green Park。
It was a lovely soft spring morning at the end of March； and
unusually balmy for the time of year； even Ernest's melancholy was
relieved for a while by the look of spring that pervaded earth and
sky； but it soon returned； and smiling sadly he said to himself：
〃It may bring hope to others； but for me there can be no hope
henceforth。〃
As these words were in his mind he joined the small crowd who were
gathered round the railings； and saw that they were looking at three
sheep with very small lambs only a day or two old； which had been
penned off for shelter and protection from the others that ranged
the park。
They were very pretty； and Londoners so seldom get a chance of
seeing lambs that it was no wonder every one stopped to look at
them。 Ernest observed that no one seemed fonder of them than a
great lubberly butcher boy； who leaned up against the railings with
a tray of meat upon his shoulder。 He was looking at this boy and
smiling at the grotesqueness of his admiration； when he became aware
that he was being watched intently by a man in coachman's livery；
who had also stopped to admire the lambs； and was leaning against
the opposite side of the enclosure。 Ernest knew him in a mo