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Stock Exchange。〃 In order to get on faster； it had been arranged
that Ernest should buy more of these things than he could pay for；
with the idea that in a few weeks； or even days； they would be much
higher in value； and he could sell them at a tremendous profit； but；
unfortunately； instead of getting higher； they had fallen
immediately after Ernest had bought； and obstinately refused to get
up again； so； after a few settlements； he had got frightened； for he
read an article in some newspaper； which said they would go ever so
much lower； and； contrary to Pryer's advice； he insisted on selling…
…at a loss of something like 500 pounds。 He had hardly sold when up
went the shares again； and he saw how foolish he had been； and how
wise Pryer was； for if Pryer's advice had been followed； he would
have made 500 pounds； instead of losing it。 However； he told
himself he must live and learn。
Then Pryer made a mistake。 They had bought some shares； and the
shares went up delightfully for about a fortnight。 This was a happy
time indeed； for by the end of a fortnight； the lost 500 pounds had
been recovered； and three or four hundred pounds had been cleared
into the bargain。 All the feverish anxiety of that miserable six
weeks； when the 500 pounds was being lost； was now being repaid with
interest。 Ernest wanted to sell and make sure of the profit； but
Pryer would not hear of it； they would go ever so much higher yet；
and he showed Ernest an article in some newspaper which proved that
what he said was reasonable； and they did go up a littlebut only a
very little； for then they went down； down； and Ernest saw first his
clear profit of three or four hundred pounds go； and then the 500
pounds loss； which he thought he had recovered； slipped away by
falls of a half and one at a time； and then he lost 200 pounds more。
Then a newspaper said that these shares were the greatest rubbish
that had ever been imposed upon the English public； and Ernest could
stand it no longer； so he sold out； again this time against Pryer's
advice； so that when they went up； as they shortly did； Pryer scored
off Ernest a second time。
Ernest was not used to vicissitudes of this kind； and they made him
so anxious that his health was affected。 It was arranged therefore
that he had better know nothing of what was being done。 Pryer was a
much better man of business than he was； and would see to it all。
This relieved Ernest of a good deal of trouble； and was better after
all for the investments themselves； for； as Pryer justly said； a man
must not have a faint heart if he hopes to succeed in buying and
selling upon the Stock Exchange； and seeing Ernest nervous made
Pryer nervous tooat least； he said it did。 So the money drifted
more and more into Pryer's hands。 As for Pryer himself； he had
nothing but his curacy and a small allowance from his father。
Some of Ernest's old friends got an inkling from his letters of what
he was doing； and did their utmost to dissuade him； but he was as
infatuated as a young lover of two and twenty。 Finding that these
friends disapproved； he dropped away from them； and they； being
bored with his egotism and high…flown ideas； were not sorry to let
him do so。 Of course； he said nothing about his speculations
indeed； he hardly knew that anything done in so good a cause could
be called speculation。 At Battersby； when his father urged him to
look out for a next presentation； and even brought one or two
promising ones under his notice； he made objections and excuses；
though always promising to do as his father desired very shortly。
CHAPTER LVI
By and by a subtle； indefinable malaise began to take possession of
him。 I once saw a very young foal trying to eat some most
objectionable refuse； and unable to make up its mind whether it was
good or no。 Clearly it wanted to be told。 If its mother had seen
what it was doing she would have set it right in a moment； and as
soon as ever it had been told that what it was eating was filth； the
foal would have recognised it and never have wanted to be told
again； but the foal could not settle the matter for itself； or make
up its mind whether it liked what it was trying to eat or no；
without assistance from without。 I suppose it would have come to do
so by and by； but it was wasting time and trouble； which a single
look from its mother would have saved； just as wort will in time
ferment of itself； but will ferment much more quickly if a little
yeast be added to it。 In the matter of knowing what gives us
pleasure we are all like wort； and if unaided from without can only
ferment slowly and toilsomely。
My unhappy hero about this time was very much like the foal； or
rather he felt much what the foal would have felt if its mother and
all the other grown…up horses in the field had vowed that what it
was eating was the most excellent and nutritious food to be found
anywhere。 He was so anxious to do what was right； and so ready to
believe that every one knew better than himself； that he never
ventured to admit to himself that he might be all the while on a
hopelessly wrong tack。 It did not occur to him that there might be
a blunder anywhere； much less did it occur to him to try and find
out where the blunder was。 Nevertheless he became daily more full
of malaise； and daily； only he knew it not； more ripe for an
explosion should a spark fall upon him。
One thing； however； did begin to loom out of the general vagueness；
and to this he instinctively turned as trying to seize itI mean；
the fact that he was saving very few souls； whereas there were
thousands and thousands being lost hourly all around him which a
little energy such as Mr Hawke's might save。 Day after day went by；
and what was he doing？ Standing on professional etiquette； and
praying that his shares might go up and down as he wanted them； so
that they might give him money enough to enable him to regenerate
the universe。 But in the meantime the people were dying。 How many
souls would not be doomed to endless ages of the most frightful
torments that the mind could think of； before he could bring his
spiritual pathology engine to bear upon them？ Why might he not
stand and preach as he saw the Dissenters doing sometimes in
Lincoln's Inn Fields and other thoroughfares？ He could say all that
Mr Hawke had said。 Mr Hawke was a very poor creature in Ernest's
eyes now； for he was a Low Churchman； but we should not be above
learning from any one； and surely he could affect his hearers as
powerfully as Mr Hawke had affected him if he only had the courage
to set to work。 The people whom he saw preaching in the squares
sometimes drew large audiences。 He could at any rate preach better
than they。
Ernest broached this to Pryer； who treated it as something too
outrageous to be even thought of。 Nothing； he said； could more tend
to lower the dignity of the clergy and bring the Church into
contempt。 His manner was brusque； and even rude。
Ernest ventured a little mild dissent； he admitted it was not usual；
but something at any rate must be done； and that quickly。 This was
how Wesley and Whitfield had begun that great move