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〃Here〃 was the British Museum。 Mrs。 Honeychurch refused。 If they
must take shelter; let it be in a shop。 Lucy felt contemptuous;
for she was on the tack of caring for Greek sculpture; and had
already borrowed a mythical dictionary from Mr。 Beebe to get up
the names of the goddesses and gods。
〃Oh; well; let it be shop; then。 Let's go to Mudie's。 I'll buy a
guide…book。〃
〃You know; Lucy; you and Charlotte and Mr。 Beebe all tell me I'm
so stupid; so I suppose I am; but I shall never understand this
hole…and…corner work。 You've got rid of Cecilwell and good; and
I'm thankful he's gone; though I did feel angry for the minute。
But why not announce it? Why this hushing up and tip…toeing?〃
〃It's only for a few days。〃
〃But why at all?〃
Lucy was silent。 She was drifting away from her mother。 It was
quite easy to say; 〃Because George Emerson has been bothering me;
and if he hears I've given up Cecil may begin again〃quite easy;
and it had the incidental advantage of being true。 But she could
not say it。 She disliked confidences; for they might lead to
self…knowledge and to that king of terrorsLight。 Ever since
that last evening at Florence she had deemed it unwise to reveal
her soul。
Mrs。 Honeychurch; too; was silent。 She was thinking; 〃My daughter
won't answer me; she would rather be with those inquisitive old
maids than with Freddy and me。 Any rag; tag; and bobtail
apparently does if she can leave her home。〃 And as in her case
thoughts never remained unspoken long; she burst out with:
〃You're tired of Windy Corner。〃
This was perfectly true。 Lucy had hoped to return to Windy Corner
when she escaped from Cecil; but she discovered that her home
existed no longer。 It might exist for Freddy; who still lived and
thought straight; but not for one who had deliberately warped the
brain。 She did not acknowledge that her brain was warped; for the
brain itself must assist in that acknowledgment; and she was
disordering the very instruments of life。 She only felt; 〃I do
not love George; I broke off my engagement because I did not love
George; I must go to Greece because I do not love George; it is
more important that I should look up gods in the dictionary than
that I should help my mother; every one else is behaving very
badly。〃 She only felt irritable and petulant; and anxious to do
what she was not expected to do; and in this spirit she proceeded
with the conversation。
〃Oh; mother; what rubbish you talk! Of course I'm not tired of
Windy Corner。〃
〃Then why not say so at once; instead of considering half an
hour?〃
She laughed faintly; 〃Half a minute would be nearer。〃
〃Perhaps you would like to stay away from your home altogether?〃
〃Hush; mother! People will hear you〃; for they had entered
Mudie's。 She bought Baedeker; and then continued: 〃Of course I
want to live at home; but as we are talking about it; I may as
well say that I shall want to be away in the future more than I
have been。 You see; I come into my money next year。〃
Tears came into her mother's eyes。
Driven by nameless bewilderment; by what is in older people
termed 〃eccentricity;〃 Lucy determined to make this point clear。
〃I've seen the world so littleI felt so out of things in Italy。
I have seen so little of life; one ought to come up to London
morenot a cheap ticket like to…day; but to stop。 I might even
share a flat for a little with some other girl。〃
〃And mess with typewriters and latch…keys;〃 exploded Mrs。
Honeychurch。 〃And agitate and scream; and be carried off kicking
by the police。 And call it a Missionwhen no one wants you! And
call it Dutywhen it means that you can't stand your own home!
And call it Workwhen thousands of men are starving with the
competition as it is! And then to prepare yourself; find two
doddering old ladies; and go abroad with them。〃
〃I want more independence;〃 said Lucy lamely; she knew that she
wanted something; and independence is a useful cry; we can always
say that we have not got it。 She tried to remember her emotions
in Florence: those had been sincere and passionate; and had
suggested beauty rather than short skirts and latch…keys。 But
independence was certainly her cue。
〃Very well。 Take your independence and be gone。 Rush up and down
and round the world; and come back as thin as a lath with the bad
food。 Despise the house that your father built and the garden
that he planted; and our dear viewand then share a flat with
another girl。〃
Lucy screwed up her mouth and said: 〃Perhaps I spoke hastily。〃
〃Oh; goodness!〃 her mother flashed。 〃How you do remind me of
Charlotte Bartlett!〃
〃Charlotte!〃 flashed Lucy in her turn; pierced at last by a vivid
pain。
〃More every moment。〃
〃I don't know what you mean; mother; Charlotte and I are not the
very least alike。〃
〃Well; I see the likeness。 The same eternal worrying; the same
taking back of words。 You and Charlotte trying to divide two
apples among three people last night might be sisters。〃
〃What rubbish! And if you dislike Charlotte so; it's rather a
pity you asked her to stop。 I warned you about her; I begged you;
implored you not to; but of course it was not listened to。〃
〃There you go。〃
〃I beg your pardon?〃
〃Charlotte again; my dear; that's all; her very words。〃
Lucy clenched her teeth。 〃My point is that you oughtn't to have
asked Charlotte to stop。 I wish you would keep to the point。〃 And
the conversation died off into a wrangle。
She and her mother shopped in silence; spoke little in the train;
little again in the carriage; which met them at Dorking Station。
It had poured all day and as they ascended through the deep
Surrey lanes showers of water fell from the over…hanging
beech…trees and rattled on the hood。 Lucy complained that the
hood was stuffy。 Leaning forward; she looked out into the
steaming dusk; and watched the carriage…lamp pass like a
search…light over mud and leaves; and reveal nothing beautiful。
〃The crush when Charlotte gets in will be abominable;〃 she
remarked。 For they were to pick up Miss Bartlett at Summer
Street; where she had been dropped as the carriage went down; to
pay a call on Mr。 Beebe's old mother。 〃We shall have to sit three
a side; because the trees drop; and yet it isn't raining。 Oh; for
a little air!〃 Then she listened to the horse's hoofs〃He has
not toldhe has not told。〃 That melody was blurred by the soft
road。 〃CAN'T we have the hood down?〃 she demanded; and her mother;
with sudden tenderness; said: 〃Very well; old lady; stop the
horse。〃 And the horse was stopped; and Lucy and Powell wrestled
with the hood; and squirted water down Mrs。 Honeychurch's neck。
But now that the hood was down; she did see something that she
would have missedthere were no lights in the windows of Cissie
Villa; and round the garden gate she fancied she saw a padlock。
〃Is that house to let again; Powell?〃 she called。
〃Yes