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Willet slowly shook his head； and thereupon his friends slowly
shook theirs； but no man withdrew his eyes from the boiler； or
altered the solemn expression of his countenance in the slightest
degree。
At length Joe returned—very talkative and conciliatory； as
though with a strong presentiment that he was going to be found
fault with。
‘Such a thing as love is！’ he said； drawing a chair near the fire；
and looking round for sympathy。 ‘He has set off to walk to
London；—all the way to London。 His nag gone lame in riding out
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here this blessed afternoon； and comfortably littered down in our
stable at this minute； and he giving up a good hot supper and our
best bed； because Miss Haredale has gone to a masquerade up in
town； and he has set his heart upon seeing her！ I don’t think I
could persuade myself to do that； beautiful as she is；—but then I’m
not in love （at least I don’t think I am） and that’s the whole
difference。’
‘He is in love then？’ said the stranger。
‘Rather；’ replied Joe。 ‘He’ll never be more in love； and may very
easily be less。’
‘Silence； sir！’ cried his father。
‘What a chap you are； Joe！’ said Long Parkes。
‘Such a inconsiderate lad！’ murmured Tom Cobb。
‘Putting himself forward and wringing the very nose off his own
father’s face！’ exclaimed the parish…clerk； metaphorically。
‘What have I done？’ reasoned poor Joe。
‘Silence； sir！’ returned his father； ‘what do you mean by talking；
when you see people that are more than two or three times your
age； sitting still and silent and not dreaming of saying a word？’
‘Why that’s the proper time for me to talk； isn’t it？’ said Joe
rebelliously。
‘The proper time； sir！’ retorted his father； ‘the proper time’s no
time。’
‘Ah to be sure！’ muttered Parkes； nodding gravely to the other
two who nodded likewise； observing under their breaths that that
was the point。
‘The proper time’s no time； sir；’ repeated John Willet； ‘when I
was your age I never talked； I never wanted to talk。 I listened and
improved myself that’s what I did。’
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‘And you’d find your father rather a tough customer in
argeyment； Joe； if anybody was to try and tackle him；’ said Parkes。
‘For the matter o’ that； Phil！’ observed Mr Willet； blowing a
long； thin； spiral cloud of smoke out of the corner of his mouth；
and staring at it abstractedly as it floated away； ‘For the matter o’
that； Phil； argeyment is a gift of Natur。 If Natur has gifted a man
with powers of argeyment； a man has a right to make the best of
’em； and has not a right to stand on false delicacy； and deny that
he is so gifted； for that is a turning of his back on Natur； a flouting
of her； a slighting of her precious caskets； and a proving of one’s
self to be a swine that isn’t worth her scattering pearls before。’
The landlord pausing here for a very long time； Mr Parkes
naturally concluded that he had brought his discourse to an end；
and therefore； turning to the young man with some austerity；
exclaimed：
‘You hear what your father says； Joe？ You wouldn’t much like
to tackle him in argeyment； I’m thinking； sir。’
‘If；’ said John Willet； turning his eyes from the ceiling to the
face of his interrupter； and uttering the monosyllable in capitals；
to apprise him that he had put in his oar； as the vulgar say； with
unbecoming and irreverent haste； ‘If； sir； Natur has fixed upon me
the gift of argeyment； why should I not own to it； and rather glory
in the same？ Yes； sir； I am a tough customer that way。 You are
right； sir。 My toughness has been proved； sir； in this room many
and many a time； as I think you know； and if you don’t know；’
added John； putting his pipe in his mouth again； ‘so much the
better； for I an’t proud and am not going to tell you。’
A general murmur from his three cronies； and a general
shaking of heads at the copper boiler； assured John Willet that
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they had had good experience of his powers and needed no further
evidence to assure them of his superiority。 John smoked with a
little more dignity and surveyed them in silence。
‘It’s all very fine talking；’ muttered Joe； who had been fidgeting
in his chair with divers uneasy gestures。 ‘But if you mean to tell
me that I’m never to open my lips—’
‘Silence； sir！’ roared his father。 ‘No； you never are。 When your
opinion’s wanted； you give it。 When you’re spoke to； you speak。
When your opinion’s not wanted and you’re not spoke to； don’t
you give an opinion and don’t you speak。 The world’s undergone a
nice alteration since my time； certainly。 My belief is that there an’t
any boys left—that there isn’t such a thing as a boy—that there’s
nothing now between a male baby and a man—and that all the
boys went out with his blessed Majesty King George the Second。’
‘That’s a very true observation； always excepting the young
princes；’ said the parish…clerk； who； as the representative of
church and state in that company； held himself bound to the nicest
loyalty。 ‘If it’s godly and righteous for boys； being of the ages of
boys； to behave themselves like boys； then the young princes must
be boys and cannot be otherwise。’
‘Did you ever hear tell of mermaids； sir？’ said Mr Willet。
‘Certainly I have；’ replied the clerk。
‘Very good；’ said Mr Willet。 ‘According to the constitution of
mermaids； so much of a mermaid as is not a woman must be a fish。
According to the constitution of young princes； so much of a young
prince （if anything） as is not actually an angel； must be godly and
righteous。 Th