the foundations of personality-第77章

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　against　the　indictment　passed　out　broadcast　by　their　children。　〃You　are　old…fashioned；　this　is　the　year　1921。〃　When　children　grow　up；　their　wills　clash　with　their　parents'；　even　in　the　sweetest；　and　most　loving　of　homes。　Behind　many　a　girl's　anxiety　to　marry　is　the　desire　for　the　unobstructed　exercise　of　her　will。　Parents　too　often　seek　in　their　children　a　continuation　of　their　own　peculiarities；　their　own　characters　and　ideals；　forgetting　that　the　continuity　of　the　generations　is　true　only　in　a　biological　sense；　but　in　no　other　way。　And　children　grown　to　strength；　power　and　intelligence　think　that　each　person　must　seek　his　experiences　himself　and　forget　that　true　wisdom　lies　in　what　is　accepted　by　all　the　generations。　Just　as　we　have　the　types　of　husbands　and　the　types　of　wives；　so　we　judge　men　and　women　by　the　wisdom；　dignity　and　faithfulness　of　their　parenthood；　so　we　judge　them　by　the　kind　of　children　they　are　to　their　parents。　In　this　last　we　have　a　point　in　character　of　great　importance　and　one　upon　which　the　followers　of　Freud　have　laid　muchover…muchstress。　The　effect　of　too　affectionate　a　home　training；　too　assertive　parenthood；　is　to　dwarf　the　individuality　of　the　child　and　make　him　a　sort　of　parasite；　out　of　contact　with　his　contemporaries；　seclusive　and　odd。　There　is　a　certain　brand　of　goody…goody　boy；　brought　up　tied　to　his　mother's　apron　strings；　who　has　lost　the　essential　capacities　of　mixing　with　varied　types　of　boys　and　girls；　who　is　sensitive；　shy　and　retiring；　or　who　is　naively　boorish　and　unschooled　in　tact。　According　to　some　psychiatrists　this　kind　of　training　breeds　the　mental　disease　known　as　Dementia　Praecox；　but　I　seriously　doubt　it。　One　often　finds　that　the　goody…goody　boy　of　fifteen　becomes　the　college　fullback　at　twenty；that　is；　once　thrown　on　the　world；　the　really　normal　get　back　their　birthright　of　character。　I　think　it　likely　that　now　and　then　a　feeling　of　inferiority　is　bred　in　this　way；　a　feeling　that　may　cling　and　change　the　current　of　a　boy's　life。　The　real　danger　of　too　close　a　family　life；　in　whatever　way　it　manifests　itself；　is　that　it　cuts　into　real　social　life；　narrows　the　field　of　influences　and　sympathies；　breeds　a　type　of　personality　of　perhaps　good　morals　but　of　poor　humanity。　The　home　must　never　lose　its　contact　with　the　world；　it　should　never　be　regarded　as　the　real　world　for　which　a　man　works。　It　is　a　place　to　rest　in；　to　eat　in；　to　work　in；　in　it　is　the　spirit　of　family　life；　redolent　of　affection；　mutual　aid　and　self…sacrifice；　but　more　than　these；　it　is　the　nodal　point　of　affections；　concerns　and　activity　which　radiate　from　it　to　the　rest　of　the　world。

CHAPTER　XV。　PLAY；　RECREATION；　HUMOR　AND　PLEASURE　SEEKING　One　of　the　great　difficulties　in　thought　is　that　often　the　same　word　expresses　quite　different　concepts。　Some　superficial　resemblance　has　taken　possession　of　the　mind　and　expressed　itself　in　a　unifying　word；　disregarding　the　fundamental　differences。　Take　the　word　〃play。〃　The　play　of　childhood　is　indeed　a　pleasurable　activity　to　the　child；　but　it　is　really　his　form　of　grappling　with　life；　a　serious　pursuit　of　knowledge　and　a　form　of　preparation　for　his　adult　activities。　It　is　not　a　way　of　relaxation；　on　the　contrary；　in　play　he　organizes　his　activities；　shuffles　and　reshuffles　his　ideas　and　experiences；　looking　for　the　new　combinations　we　call　〃imaginations。〃　The　kitten　in　its　play　prepares　to　catch　its　prey　later　on；　and　the　child　digging　in　a　ditch　and　making　believe　〃this　is　a　house〃　and　〃this　is　a　river〃　is　a　symbol　of　Man　the　mighty　changing　the　face　of　Nature。　The　running　and　catching　games　like　〃Tag〃　and　〃I　spy；〃　〃Hide　and　go　seek；〃　〃Rellevo〃　are　really　war　games；　with　training　in　endurance；　agility；　cool…headedness；　cooperation　and　rivalry　as　their　goals。　Only　as　the　child　grows　older；　and　there　is　placed　on　him　the　burden　of　school　work；　does　play　commence　to　change　its　serious　nature　and　partake　of　the　frivolous　character　of　adult　life。　For　the　play　of　adult　life　is　an　effort　to　find　pleasure　and　relaxation　in　the　dropping　of　serious　purposes；　in　the　〃forgetting〃　of　cares　and　worries；　by　indulging　in　excitement　which　has　no　fundamental　purpose。　The　pleasure　of　play　for　the　adult　is　in　the　release　of　trends　from　inhibition；　exactly　as　we　may　imagine　that　a　harnessed　horse；　pulling　at　a　load　and　with　his　head　held　back　by　a　check…rein；　might　feel　if　he　were　turned　loose　in　a　meadow。　This　is　the　kind　of　play　spirit　manifested　in　going　out　fishing；　dressed　in　old　clothes；　with　men　who　will　not　care　whatever　is　said　or　done。　There　is　purpose；　there　is　competition　and　cooperation　and　fellowship；　but　the　organization　is　a　loose　one　and　does　not　bear　heavily。　So；　too；　with　the　pleasure　of　a　game　of　ball　for　the　amateur　who　plays　now　and　then。　There　is　organization；　control　and　competition；　but　unless　one　is　a　poor　loser；　there　is　a　relaxed　tension　in　that　the　purpose　is　not　vital；　and　one　can　shout；　jump　up　and　down　and　express　himself　in　uninhibited　excitement。　Whether　this　excitement　has　a　value　in　discharging　other　excitement　and　feelings　that　are　inhibited　in　the　daily　work　is　another　matter；　if　it　has　such　a　value；　play　becomes　of　necessary　importance。　In　outdoor　games　in　general；　the　feeling　of　physical　fitness；　of　discharging　energy　along　primordial　lines　and　the　happy　feeling　that　comes　merely　from　color　of　sky　and　grass　and　the　outdoor　world；　bring　a　relief　from　sadness　that　comes　with　the　work　and　life　of　the　city　man。　Often　the　play　is　an　effort　to　seek　excitement　and　thus　to　forget　cares；　or　it　is　a　seeking　of　excitement　for　its　own　sake。　Thus　men　gamble；　not　only　for　the　gain　but　because　such　excitement　as　is　aroused　offers　relief　from　business　worries　or　home　difficulties。　The　prize　fights；　the　highly　competitive　professional　sports　of　all　kinds　are　frequented　and　followed　by　enormous　numbers　of　men；　not　only　because　men　greatly　admire　physical　prowess；　but　because　the　intense　excitement　is　sought。　I　know　more　than　one　business　and　professional　man　who　goes　to　the　〃fights〃　because　only　there　can　he　get　a　thrill。　There　is　a　generalized　mild　anhedonia　in　the　community；　which　has　its　origin　in　the　fatigue　of　overintense　purposes；　failure　to　realize　ideals　and　the　difficulties　of　choice。　People　who　suffer　in　this　way　often　seek　the　sedentary　satisfaction　of　watching　competitive　professional　games。　Indeed；　the　hold　of　competition　on　man　exists　not　alone　in　his　rivalry　feeling　toward　others；　it　is　evidenced　also　in　the　excitement　he　immediately　feels　in　the　presence　of　competitive　struggle；　even　though　he　himself　has　little　or　no　personal　stake。　Man　is　a　partisan　creature　and　loves　to　take　sides。　This　is　remarkably　demonstrated　by　children；　and　is　almost　as　well　shown　in　the　play　of　adults。　A　recent　international　prize　fight　awakened　more　intense　interest　than　almost　any　international　event　of　whatever　real　importance。　That　same　day　it　passed　practically　unnoticed　that　America　ended　a　state　of　war　with　Germany。　A　law　of　excitement；　that　it　lies　in　part　in　a　personal　hazard　accounts　for　the　growth　of　betting　at　games。　The　effort　to　gain　adds　to　the　interest；　i。　e。；　excitement。　That　it　adds　tension　as　well　and　may　result　in　fatigue　and　further　boredom　is　not　reckoned