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lay morals-第52章

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The base of Nance's feelings for Mr。 Archer was admiration as  for a superior being; and with this; his treatment;  consciously or not; accorded happily。  When he forgot her;  she took the blame upon herself。  His formal politeness was  so exquisite that this essential brutality stood excused。   His compliments; besides; were always grave and rational; he  would offer reason for his praise; convict her of merit; and  thus disarm suspicion。  Nay; and the very hours when he  forgot and remembered her alternately could by the ardent  fallacies of youth be read in the light of an attention。  She  might be far from his confidence; but still she was nearer it  than any one。  He might ignore her presence; but yet he  sought it。

Moreover; she; upon her side; was conscious of one point of  superiority。  Beside this rather dismal; rather effeminate  man; who recoiled from a worm; who grew giddy on the castle  wall; who bore so helplessly the weight of his misfortunes;  she felt herself a head and shoulders taller in cheerful and  sterling courage。  She could walk head in air along the most  precarious rafter; her hand feared neither the grossness nor  the harshness of life's web; but was thrust cheerfully; if  need were; into the briar bush; and could take hold of any  crawling horror。  Ruin was mining the walls of her cottage;  as already it had mined and subverted Mr。 Archer's palace。   Well; she faced it with a bright countenance and a busy hand。   She had got some washing; some rough seamstress work from the  'Green Dragon;' and from another neighbour ten miles away  across the moor。  At this she cheerfully laboured; and from  that height she could afford to pity the useless talents and  poor attitude of Mr。 Archer。  It did not change her  admiration; but it made it bearable。  He was above her in all  ways; but she was above him in one。  She kept it to herself;  and hugged it。  When; like all young creatures; she made long  stories to justify; to nourish; and to forecast the course of  her affection; it was this private superiority that made all  rosy; that cut the knot; and that; at last; in some great  situation; fetched to her knees the dazzling but imperfect  hero。  With this pretty exercise she beguiled the hours of  labour; and consoled herself for Mr。 Archer's bearing。

Pity was her weapon and her weakness。  To accept the loved  one's faults; although it has an air of freedom; is to kiss  the chain; and this pity it was which; lying nearer to her  heart; lent the one element of true emotion to a fanciful and  merely brain…sick love。

Thus it fell out one day that she had gone to the 'Green  Dragon' and brought back thence a letter to Mr。 Archer。  He;  upon seeing it; winced like a man under the knife: pain;  shame; sorrow; and the most trenchant edge of mortification  cut into his heart and wrung the steady composure of his  face。

'Dear heart! have you bad news?' she cried。

But he only replied by a gesture and fled to his room; and  when; later on; she ventured to refer to it; he stopped her  on the threshold; as if with words prepared beforehand。   'There are some pains;' said he; 'too acute for consolation;  or I would bring them to my kind consoler。  Let the memory of  that letter; if you please; be buried。'  And then as she  continued to gaze at him; being; in spite of herself; pained  by his elaborate phrase; doubtfully sincere in word and  manner: 'Let it be enough;' he added haughtily; 'that if this  matter wring my heart; it doth not touch my conscience。  I am  a man; I would have you to know; who suffers undeservedly。'

He had never spoken so directly: never with so convincing an  emotion; and her heart thrilled for him。  She could have  taken his pains and died of them with joy。

Meanwhile she was left without support。  Jonathan now swore  by his lodger; and lived for him。  He was a fine talker。  He  knew the finest sight of stories; he was a man and a  gentleman; take him for all in all; and a perfect credit to  Old England。  Such were the old man's declared sentiments;  and sure enough he clung to Mr。 Archer's side; hung upon his  utterance when he spoke; and watched him with unwearing  interest when he was silent。  And yet his feeling was not  clear; in the partial wreck of his mind; which was leaning to  decay; some after…thought was strongly present。  As he gazed  in Mr。 Archer's face a sudden brightness would kindle in his  rheumy eyes; his eye…brows would lift as with a sudden  thought; his mouth would open as though to speak; and close  again on silence。  Once or twice he even called Mr。 Archer  mysteriously forth into the dark courtyard; took him by the  button; and laid a demonstrative finger on his chest; but  there his ideas or his courage failed him; he would  shufflingly excuse himself and return to his position by the  fire without a word of explanation。  'The good man was  growing old;' said Mr。 Archer with a suspicion of a shrug。   But the good man had his idea; and even when he was alone the  name of Mr。 Archer fell from his lips continually in the  course of mumbled and gesticulative conversation。



THE GREAT NORTH ROAD CHAPTER VI … THE BAD HALF…CROWN



HOWEVER early Nance arose; and she was no sluggard; the old  man; who had begun to outlive the earthly habit of slumber;  would usually have been up long before; the fire would be  burning brightly; and she would see him wandering among the  ruins; lantern in hand; and talking assiduously to himself。   One day; however; after he had returned late from the market  town; she found that she had stolen a march upon that  indefatigable early riser。  The kitchen was all blackness。   She crossed the castle…yard to the wood…cellar; her steps  printing the thick hoarfrost。  A scathing breeze blew out of  the north…east and slowly carried a regiment of black and  tattered clouds over the face of heaven; which was already  kindled with the wild light of morning; but where she walked;  in shelter of the ruins; the flame of her candle burned  steady。  The extreme cold smote upon her conscience。  She  could not bear to think this bitter business fell usually to  the lot of one so old as Jonathan; and made desperate  resolutions to be earlier in the future。

The fire was a good blaze before he entered; limping dismally  into the kitchen。  'Nance;' said he; 'I be all knotted up  with the rheumatics; will you rub me a bit?'  She came and  rubbed him where and how he bade her。  'This is a cruel thing  that old age should be rheumaticky;' said he。  'When I was  young I stood my turn of the teethache like a man! for why?  because it couldn't last for ever; but these rheumatics come  to live and die with you。  Your aunt was took before the time  came; never had an ache to mention。  Now I lie all night in  my single bed and the blood never warms in me; this knee of  mine it seems like lighted up with rheumatics; it seems as  though you could see to sew by it; and all the strings of my  old body ache; as if devils was pulling 'em。  Thank you  kindly; that's someways easier now; but an old man; my dear;  has little to look for; it's pain; pain; pain to the end of  the business; and I'll never be rightly warm again till I get  under the sod;' he 
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