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company； without the least expence of genius； and that
imperfection； which he had at first counterfeited； was now become
so habitual； that he could not lay it aside。
A certain winking genius； who wore yellow gloves at dinner； had；
on his first introduction； taken such offence at S； because he
looked and talked； and ate and drank like any other man； that he
spoke contemptuously of his understanding ever after； and never
would repeat his visit； until he had exhibited the following
proof of his caprice。 Wat Wyvil； the poet； having made some
unsuccessful advances towards an intimacy with S； at last gave
him to understand； by a third person； that he had written a poem
in his praise； and a satire against his person； that if he would
admit him to his house； the first should be immediately sent to
press； but that if he persisted in declining his friendship； he
would publish his satire without delay。 S replied； that he
looked upon Wyvil's panegyrick； as in effect； a species of
infamy； and would resent it accordingly with a good cudgel； but
if he published the satire； he might deserve his compassion； and
had nothing to fear from his revenge。 Wyvil having considered the
alternative； resolved to mortify S by printing the panegyrick；
for which he received a sound drubbing。 Then he swore the peace
against the aggressor； who； in order to avoid a prosecution at
law； admitted him to his good graces。 It was the singularity in
S's conduct； on this occasion； that reconciled him to the
yellow…gloved philosopher； who owned he had some genius； and from
that period cultivated his acquaintance。
Curious to know upon what subjects the several talents of my
fellow…guests were employed； I applied to my communicative friend
Dick Ivy； who gave me to understand； that most of them were； or
had been； understrappers； or journeymen； to more creditable
authors； for whom they translated； collated； and compiled； in the
business of bookmaking； and that all of them had； at different
times； laboured in the service of our landlord； though they had
now set up for themselves in various departments of literature。
Not only their talents； but also their nations and dialects were
so various； that our conversation resembled the confusion of
tongues at Babel。 We had the Irish brogue； the Scotch accent； and
foreign idiom； twanged off by the most discordant vociferation；
for； as they all spoke together； no man had any chance to be
heard； unless he could bawl louder than his fellows。 It must be
owned； however； there was nothing pedantic in their discourse；
they carefully avoided all learned disquisitions； and endeavoured
to be facetious； nor did their endeavours always miscarry some
droll repartee passed； and much laughter was excited； and if any
individual lost his temper so far as to transgress the bounds of
decorum； he was effectually checked by the master of the feast；
who exerted a sort of paternal authority over this irritable
tribe。
The most learned philosopher of the whole collection； who had
been expelled the university for atheism； has made great progress
in a refutation of lord Bolingbroke's metaphysical works； which
is said to be equally ingenious； and orthodox； but； in the mean
time； he has been presented to the grand jury as a public
nuisance； for having blasphemed in an ale…house on the Lord's
day。 The Scotchman gives lectures on the pronunciation of the
English language； which he is now publishing by subscription。
The Irishman is a political writer； and goes by the name of my
Lord Potatoe。 He wrote a pamphlet in vindication of a minister；
hoping his zeal would be rewarded with some place or pension；
but； finding himself neglected in that quarter； he whispered
about； that the pamphlet was written by the minister himself； and
he published an answer to his own production。 In this； he
addressed the author under the title of your lordship with such
solemnity； that the public swallowed the deceit； and bought up
the whole impression。 The wise politicians of the metropolis
declared they were both masterly performances； and chuckled over
the flimsy reveries of an ignorant garretteer； as the profound
speculations of a veteran statesman； acquainted with all the
secrets of the cabinet。 The imposture was detected in the sequel；
and our Hibernian pamphleteer retains no part of his assumed
importance； but the bare title of my lord。 and the upper part of
the table at the potatoe…ordinary in Shoelane。
Opposite to me sat a Piedmontese； who had obliged the public with
a humorous satire； intituled； The Ballance of the English Poets；
a performance which evinced the great modesty and taste of the
author； and； in particular； his intimacy with the elegancies of
the English language。 The sage； who laboured under the
agrophobia； or horror of green fields； had just finished a
treatise on practical agriculture； though； in fact； he had never
seen corn growing in his life； and was so ignorant of grain； that
our entertainer； in the face of the whole company； made him own；
that a plate of hominy was the best rice pudding he had ever eat。
The stutterer had almost finished his travels through Europe and
part of Asia； without ever budging beyond the liberties of the
King's Bench； except in term…time； with a tipstaff for his
companion； and as for little Tim Cropdale； the most facetious
member of the whole society； he had happily wound up the
catastrophe of a virgin tragedy； from the exhibition of which he
promised himself a large fund of profit and reputation。 Tim had
made shift to live many years by writing novels； at the rate of
five pounds a volume； but that branch of business is now
engrossed by female authors； who publish merely for the
propagation of virtue； with so much ease and spirit； and
delicacy； and knowledge of the human heart； and all in the serene
tranquillity of high life； that the reader is not only inchanted
by their genius； but reformed by their morality。
After dinner； we adjourned into the garden； where； I observed； Mr
S gave a short separate audience to every individual in a small
remote filbert walk； from whence most of them dropt off one after
another； without further ceremony； but they were replaced by
fresh recruits of the same clan； who came to make an afternoon's
visit； and； among others； a spruce bookseller； called Birkin； who
rode his own gelding； and made his appearance in a pair of new
jemmy boots； with massy spurs of plate。 It was not without
reason； that this midwife of the Muses used exercise a…horseback；
for he was too fat to walk a…foot； and he underwent some sarcasms
from Tim Cropdale； on his unwieldy size and inaptitude for
motion。 Birkin； who took umbrage at this poor author's petulance
in presuming to joke upon a man so much richer than himself； told
him； he was not so unwieldy but that he could move the Marshalsea
court for a writ； and even overtake him with it； if he did not
very speedily come and settle accounts with him； respecting the
expence of publishing his last ode to the king of Prussia； of
which he had sold but three； and one of them was to Whitfield the
methodist。 Tim affected to receive this intimation with good
humour； say