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david elginbrod-第115章

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and grew; for it needs but a vision of the Divine; and faith in God
is straightway born in the soul that beholds it。  Thus; faith and
sight are one。  The being of her father in heaven was no more
strange and far off from her; when she had seen such a father on
earth as Margaret's was。  It was not alone David's faith that begot
hers; but the man himself was a faith…begetting presence。  He was
the evidence of God with them。Thus he; being dead; yet spoke; and
the departed man was a present power。

Euphra began to read the story of the Gospel。  So did Harry。  They
found much on which to desire enlightenment; and they always applied
to Margaret for the light they needed。  It was long before she
ventured to say I think。  She always said:

〃My father used to say〃 or

〃I think my father would have said〃

It was not until Euphra was in great trouble some time after this;
and required the immediate consolation of personal testimony; that
Margaret spoke as from herself; and then she spoke with positive
assurance of faith。  She did not then even say I think; but; I am
sure; I know; I have seen。

Many interviews of this sort did not take place between them before
Euphra; in her turn; began to confide her history to Margaret。

It was a strangely different onefull of outward event and physical
trouble; but; till it approached the last stages; wonderfully barren
as to inward production or development。  It was a history of
Euphra's circumstances and peculiarities; not of Euphra herself。
Till of late; she had scarcely had any history。  Margaret's; on the
contrary; was a true history; for; with much of the monotonous in
circumstance; it described individual growth; and the change of
progress。  Where there is no change there can be no history; and as
all change is either growth or decay; all history must describe
progress or retrogression。  The former had now begun for Euphra as
well; and it was one proof of it that she told Margaret all I have
already recorded for my readers; at least as far as it bore against
herself。  How much more she told her I am unable to say; but after
she had told it; Euphra was still more humble towards Margaret; and
Margaret more tender; more full of service; if possible; and more
devoted to Euphra。




CHAPTER XV。

MARGARET'S SECRET。

     Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds;
Or bends with the remover to remove。

SHAKSPERE。Sonnet cxvi。


Margaret could not proceed very far in the story of her life;
without making some reference to Hugh Sutherland。  But she carefully
avoided mentioning his name。  Perhaps no one less calm; and free
from the operation of excitement; could have been so successful in
suppressing it。

〃Ah!〃 said Euphra; one day; 〃your history is a little like mine
there; a tutor comes into them both。  Did you not fall dreadfully in
love with him?〃

〃I loved him very much。〃

〃Where is he now?〃

〃In London; I believe。〃

〃Do you never see him?〃

〃No。〃

〃Have you never seen him since he left your homewith the curious
name?〃

〃Yes; but not spoken to him。〃

〃Where?〃

Margaret was silent。  Euphra knew her well enough now not to repeat
the question。

〃I should have been in love with him; I know。〃

Margaret only smiled。

Another day; Euphra said:

〃What a good boy that Harry is!  And so clever too。  Ah!  Margaret;
I have behaved like the devil to that boy。  I wanted to have him all
to myself; and so kept him a child。  Need I confess all my ugliest
sins?〃

〃Not to me; certainly; dear Miss Cameron。  Tell God to look into
your heart; and take them all out of it。〃

〃I will。  I do。I even enticed Mr。 Sutherland away from him to me;
when he was the only real friend he had; that I might have them
both。〃

〃But you have done your best to make up for it since。〃

〃I have tried a little。  I cannot say I have done my best。  I have
been so peevish and irritable。〃

〃You could not quite help that。〃

〃How kind you are to excuse me so!  It makes me so much stronger to
try again。〃

〃My father used to say that God was always finding every excuse for
us that could be found; every true one; you know; not one false
one。〃

〃That does comfort one。〃

After a pause; Euphra resumed:

〃Mr。 Sutherland did me some good; Margaret。〃

〃I do not wonder at that。〃

〃He made me think less about Count Halkar; and that was something;
for he haunted me。  I did not know then how very wicked he was。  I
did love him once。  Oh; how I hate him now!〃

And she started up and paced the room like a tigress in its cage。

Margaret did not judge this the occasion to read her a lecture on
the duty of forgiveness。  She had enough to do to keep from hating
the man herself; I suspect。  But she tried to turn her thoughts into
another channel。

〃Mr。 Sutherland loved you very much; Miss Cameron。〃

〃He loved me once;〃 said poor Euphra; with a sigh。

〃I saw he did。  That was why I began to love you too。〃

Margaret had at last unwittingly opened the door of her secret。  She
had told the other reason for loving Euphra。  But; naturally enough;
Euphra could not understand what she meant。  Perhaps some of my
readers; understanding Margaret's words perfectly; and their
reference too; may be so far from understanding Margaret herself; as
to turn upon me and say:

〃Impossible!  You cannot have understood her or any other woman。〃

Well!

〃What do you mean; Margaret?〃

Margaret both blushed and laughed outright。

〃I must confess it;〃 said she; at once; 〃it cannot hurt him now: my
tutor and yours are the same。〃

〃Impossible!〃

〃True。〃

〃And you never spoke all the time you were both at Arnstead?〃

〃Not once。  He never knew I was in the house。〃

〃How strange!  And you saw he loved me?〃

〃Yes。〃

〃And you were not jealous?〃

〃I did not say that。  But I soon found that the only way to escape
from my jealousy; if the feeling I had was jealousy; was to love you
too。  I did。〃

〃You beautiful creature!  But you could not have loved him much。〃

〃I loved him enough to love you for his sake。  But why did he stop
loving you?  I fear I shall not be able to love him so much now。〃

〃He could not help it; Margaret。  I deserved it。〃

Euphra hid her face in her hands。

〃He could not have really loved you; then?〃

〃Which is better to believe; Margaret;〃 said Euphra; uncovering her
face; which two tears were lingering down; and looking up at
her〃that he never loved me; or that he stopped loving me?〃

〃For his sake; the first。〃

〃And for my sake; the second?〃

〃That depends。〃

〃So it does。  He must have found plenty of faults in me。  But I was
not so bad as he thought me when he stopped loving me。〃

Margaret's answer was one of her loving smiles; in which her eyes
had more share than her lips。

It would have been unendurable to Euphra; a little while before; to
find that she had a rival in a servant。  Now she scarcely regarded
that aspect of her position。  But she looked doubtfully at Margaret;
and then said:

〃How is it that you take it so quietly?for your love must have
been very different from mine。  Indeed; I am not sure that I loved
him at all; and after I had made up my mind to
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