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THE UNKINDEST BLOW
THE season of strikes seemed to have run itself to a
standstill。 Almost every trade and industry and calling
in which a dislocation could possibly be engineered had
indulged in that luxury。 The last and least successful
convulsion had been the strike of the World's Union of
Zoological Garden attendants； who； pending the settlement
of certain demands； refused to minister further to the
wants of the animals committed to their charge or to
allow any other keepers to take their place。 In this
case the threat of the Zoological Gardens authorities
that if the men 〃came out〃 the animals should come out
also had intensified and precipitated the crisis。 The
imminent prospect of the larger carnivores； to say
nothing of rhinoceroses and bull bison； roaming at large
and unfed in the heart of London； was not one which
permitted of prolonged conferences。 The Government of
the day； which from its tendency to be a few hours behind
the course of events had been nicknamed the Government of
the afternoon； was obliged to intervene with promptitude
and decision。 A strong force of Bluejackets was
despatched to Regent's Park to take over the temporarily
abandoned duties of the strikers。 Bluejackets were
chosen in preference to land forces； partly on account of
the traditional readiness of the British Navy to go
anywhere and do anything； partly by reason of the
familiarity of the average sailor with monkeys； parrots；
and other tropical fauna； but chiefly at the urgent
request of the First Lord of the Admiralty； who was
keenly desirous of an opportunity for performing some
personal act of unobtrusive public service within the
province of his department。
〃If he insists on feeding the infant jaguar himself；
in defiance of its mother's wishes； there may be another
by…election in the north；〃 said one of his colleagues；
with a hopeful inflection in his voice。 〃By…elections
are not very desirable at present； but we must not be
selfish。〃
As a matter of fact the strike collapsed peacefully
without any outside intervention。 The majority of the
keepers had become so attached to their charges that they
returned to work of their own accord。
And then the nation and the newspapers turned with a
sense of relief to happier things。 It seemed as if a new
era of contentment was about to dawn。 Everybody had
struck who could possibly want to strike or who could
possibly be cajoled or bullied into striking； whether
they wanted to or not。 The lighter and brighter side of
life might now claim some attention。 And conspicuous
among the other topics that sprang into sudden prominence
was the pending Falvertoon divorce suit。
The Duke of Falvertoon was one of those human HORS
D'OEUVRES that stimulate the public appetite for
sensation without giving it much to feed on。 As a mere
child he had been precociously brilliant； he had declined
the editorship of the ANGLIAN REVIEW at an age when most
boys are content to have declined MENSA； a table； and
though he could not claim to have originated the Futurist
movement in literature； his 〃Letters to a possible
Grandson；〃 written at the age of fourteen； had attracted
considerable notice。 In later days his brilliancy had
been less conspicuously displayed。 During a debate in
the House of Lords on affairs in Morocco； at a moment
when that country； for the fifth time in seven years； had
brought half Europe to the verge of war； he had
interpolated the remark 〃a little Moor and how much it
is；〃 but in spite of the encouraging reception accorded
to this one political utterance he was never tempted to a
further display in that direction。 It began to be
generally understood that he did not intend to supplement
his numerous town and country residences by living
overmuch in the public eye。
And then had come the unlooked…for tidings of the
imminent proceedings for divorce。 And such a divorce！
There were cross…suits and allegations and counter…
allegations； charges of cruelty and desertion； everything
in fact that was necessary to make the case one of the
most complicated and sensational of its kind。 And the
number of distinguished people involved or cited as
witnesses not only embraced both political parties in the
realm and several Colonial governors； but included an
exotic contingent from France； Hungary； the United States
of North America； and the Grand Duchy of Baden。 Hotel
accommodation of the more expensive sort began to
experience a strain on its resources。 〃It will be quite
like the Durbar without the elephants；〃 exclaimed an
enthusiastic lady who； to do her justice； had never seen
a Durbar。 The general feeling was one of thankfulness
that the last of the strikes had been got over before the
date fixed for the hearing of the great suit。
As a reaction from the season of gloom and
industrial strife that had just passed away the agencies
that purvey and stage…manage sensations laid themselves
out to do their level best on this momentous occasion。
Men who had made their reputations as special descriptive
writers were mobilised from distant corners of Europe and
the further side of the Atlantic in order to enrich with
their pens the daily printed records of the case； one
word…painter； who specialised in descriptions of how
witnesses turn pale under cross…examination； was summoned
hurriedly back from a famous and prolonged murder trial
in Sicily； where indeed his talents were being decidedly
wasted。 Thumb…nail artists and expert kodak manipulators
were retained at extravagant salaries； and special dress
reporters were in high demand。 An enterprising Paris
firm of costume builders presented the defendant Duchess
with three special creations； to be worn； marked；
learned； and extensively reported at various critical
stages of the trial； and as for the cinematograph agents；
their industry and persistence was untiring。 Films
representing the Duke saying good…bye to his favourite
canary on the eve of the trial were in readiness weeks
before the event was due to take place； other films
depicted the Duchess holding imaginary consultations with
fictitious lawyers or making a light repast off specially
advertised vegetarian sandwiches during a supposed
luncheon interval。 As far as human foresight and human
enterprise could go nothing was lacking to make the trial
a success。
Two days before the case was down for hearing the
advance reporter of an important syndicate obtained an
interview with the Duke for the purpose of gleaning some
final grains of information concerning his Grace's
personal arrangements during the trial。
〃I suppose I may say this will be one of the biggest
affairs of its kind during the lifetime of a generation；〃
began the reporter as an excuse for the unsparing