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beasts and superbeasts-第30章

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the Union of Cooks and Kitchen Employees; and as soon as 

they heard of his summary dismissal at a moment's notice 

they struck work。  They demand his instant reinstatement 

and an apology to the union。  I may add; madame; that 

they are very firm; I've been obliged even to hand back 

the dinner rolls that were already on the table。〃



After the lapse of eighteen months Sophie Chattel…

Monkheim is beginning to go about again among her old 

haunts and associates; but she still has to be very 

careful。  The doctors will not let her attend anything at 

all exciting; such as a drawing…room meeting or a Fabian 

conference; it is doubtful; indeed; whether she wants to。





THE FEAST OF NEMESIS





〃IT'S a good thing that Saint Valentine's Day has 

dropped out of vogue;〃 said Mrs。 Thackenbury; 〃what with 

Christmas and New Year and Easter; not to speak of 

birthdays; there are quite enough remembrance days as it 

is。  I tried to save myself trouble at Christmas by just 

sending flowers to all my friends; but it wouldn't work; 

Gertrude has eleven hot…houses and about thirty 

gardeners; so it would have been ridiculous to send 

flowers to her; and Milly has just started a florist's 

shop; so it was equally out of the question there。  The 

stress of having to decide in a hurry what to give to 

Gertrude and Milly just when I thought I'd got the whole 

question nicely off my mind completely ruined my 

Christmas; and then the awful monotony of the letters of 

thanks: 'Thank you so much for your lovely flowers。  It 

was so good of you to think of me。'  Of course in the 

majority of cases I hadn't thought about the recipients 

at all; their names were down in my list of 'people who 

must not be left out。'  If I trusted to remembering them 

there would be some awful sins of omission。〃



〃The trouble is;〃 said Clovis to his aunt; 〃all 

these days of intrusive remembrance harp so persistently 

on one aspect of human nature and entirely ignore the 

other; that is why they become so perfunctory and 

artificial。  At Christmas and New Year you are emboldened 

and encouraged by convention to send gushing messages of 

optimistic goodwill and servile affection to people whom 

you would scarcely ask to lunch unless some one else had 

failed you at the last moment; if you are supping at a 

restaurant on New Year's Eve you are permitted and 

expected to join hands and sing 'For Auld Lang Syne' with 

strangers whom you have never seen before and never want 

to see again。  But no licence is allowed in the opposite 

direction。〃



〃Opposite direction; what opposite direction?〃  

queried Mrs。 Thackenbury。



〃There is no outlet for demonstrating your feelings 

towards people whom you simply loathe。  That is really 

the crying need of our modern civilisation。  Just think 

how jolly it would be if a recognised day were set apart 

for the paying off of old scores and grudges; a day when 

one could lay oneself out to be gracefully vindictive to 

a carefully treasured list of 'people who must not be let 

off。'  I remember when I was at a private school we had 

one day; the last Monday of the term I think it was; 

consecrated to the settlement of feuds and grudges; of 

course we did not appreciate it as much as it deserved; 

because; after all; any day of the term could be used for 

that purpose。  Still; if one had chastised a smaller boy 

for being cheeky weeks before; one was always permitted 

on that day to recall the episode to his memory by 

chastising him again。  That is what the French call 

reconstructing the crime。〃



〃I should call it reconstructing the punishment;〃 

said Mrs。 Thackenbury; 〃and; anyhow; I don't see how you 

could introduce a system of primitive schoolboy vengeance 

into civilised adult life。  We haven't outgrown our 

passions; but we are supposed to have learned how to keep 

them within strictly decorous limits。〃



〃Of course the thing would have to be done furtively 

and politely;〃 said Clovis; 〃the charm of it would be 

that it would never be perfunctory like the other thing。  

Now; for instance; you say to yourself: 'I must show the 

Webleys some attention at Christmas; they were kind to 

dear Bertie at Bournemouth;' and you send them a 

calendar; and daily for six days after Christmas the male 

Webley asks the female Webley if she has remembered to 

thank you for the calendar you sent them。  Well; 

transplant that idea to the other and more human side of 

your nature; and say to yourself: 'Next Thursday is 

Nemesis Day; what on earth can I do to those odious 

people next door who made such an absurd fuss when Ping 

Yang bit their youngest child?'  Then you'd get up 

awfully early on the allotted day and climb over into 

their garden and dig for truffles on their tennis court 

with a good gardening fork; choosing; of course; that 

part of the court that was screened from observation by 

the laurel bushes。  You wouldn't find any truffles but 

you would find a great peace; such as no amount of 

present…giving could ever bestow。〃



〃I shouldn't;〃 said Mrs。 Thackenbury; though her air 

of protest sounded a bit forced; 〃I should feel rather a 

worm for doing such a thing。〃



〃You exaggerate the power of upheaval which a worm 

would be able to bring into play in the limited time 

available;〃 said Clovis; 〃if you put in a strenuous ten 

minutes with a really useful fork; the result ought to 

suggest the operations of an unusually masterful mole or 

a badger in a hurry。〃



〃They might guess I had done it;〃 said Mrs。 

Thackenbury。



〃Of course they would;〃 said Clovis; 〃that would be 

half the satisfaction of the thing; just as you like 

people at Christmas to know what presents or cards you've 

sent them。  The thing would be much easier to manage; of 

course; when you were on outwardly friendly terms with 

the object of your dislike。  That greedy little Agnes 

Blaik; for instance; who thinks of nothing but her food; 

it would be quite simple to ask her to a picnic in some 

wild woodland spot and lose her just before lunch was 

served; when you found her again every morsel of food 

could have been eaten up。〃



〃It would require no ordinary human strategy to lose 

Agnes Blaik when luncheon was imminent: in fact; I don't 

believe it could be done。〃



〃Then have all the other guests; people whom you 

dislike; and lose the luncheon。  It could have been sent 

by accident in the wrong direction。〃



〃It would be a ghastly picnic;〃 said Mrs。 

Thackenbury。



〃For them; but not for you;〃 said Clovis; 〃you would 

have had an early and comforting lunch before you 

started; and you could improve the occasion by mentioning 

in detail the items of the missing banquet … the lobster 

Newburg and the egg mayonnaise; and the curry that was to 

have been heated in a chafing…dish。  Agnes Blaik would be 

delirious long before you got to the list of wine
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