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most libellous remarks if Dora would take back the hen；
but Dora said that would be owning herself in the wrong；
and you know she'd as soon think of owning slum property
in Whitechapel as do that。〃
〃It's a most awkward situation；〃 said Mrs。 Sangrail。
〃Do you suppose they won't speak to one another？〃
〃On the contrary； the difficulty will be to get them
to leave off。 Their remarks on each other's conduct and
character have hitherto been governed by the fact that
only four ounces of plain speaking can be sent through
the post for a penny。〃
〃I can't put Dora off；〃 said Mrs。 Sangrail。 〃I've
already postponed her visit once； and nothing short of a
miracle would make Jane leave before her self…allotted
fortnight is over。〃
〃Miracles are rather in my line；〃 said Clovis。 〃I
don't pretend to be very hopeful in this case but I'll do
my best。〃
〃As long as you don't drag me into it … 〃 stipulated
his mother。
* * * *
〃Servants are a bit of a nuisance；〃 muttered Clovis；
as he sat in the smoking…room after lunch； talking
fitfully to Jane Martlet in the intervals of putting
together the materials of a cocktail； which he had
irreverently patented under the name of an Ella Wheeler
Wilcox。 It was partly compounded of old brandy and
partly of curacoa； there were other ingredients； but they
were never indiscriminately revealed。
〃Servants a nuisance！〃 exclaimed Jane； bounding into
the topic with the exuberant plunge of a hunter when it
leaves the high road and feels turf under its hoofs； 〃I
should think they were！ The trouble I've had in getting
suited this year you would hardly believe。 But I don't
see what you have to complain of … your mother is so
wonderfully lucky in her servants。 Sturridge； for
instance … he's been with you for years； and I'm sure
he's a paragon as butlers go。〃
〃That's just the trouble；〃 said Clovis。 〃It's when
servants have been with you for years that they become a
really serious nuisance。 The 'here to…day and gone to…
morrow' sort don't matter … you've simply got to replace
them； it's the stayers and the paragons that are the real
worry。〃
〃But if they give satisfaction … 〃
〃That doesn't prevent them from giving trouble。
Now； you've mentioned Sturridge … it was Sturridge I was
particularly thinking of when I made the observation
about servants being a nuisance。〃
〃The excellent Sturridge a nuisance！ I can't
believe it。〃
〃I know he's excellent； and we just couldn't get
along without him； he's the one reliable element in this
rather haphazard household。 But his very orderliness has
had an effect on him。 Have you ever considered what it
must be like to go on unceasingly doing the correct thing
in the correct manner in the same surroundings for the
greater part of a lifetime？ To know and ordain and
superintend exactly what silver and glass and table linen
shall be used and set out on what occasions； to have
cellar and pantry and plate…cupboard under a minutely
devised and undeviating administration； to be noiseless；
impalpable； omnipresent； and； as far as your own
department is concerned； omniscient？〃
〃I should go mad；〃 said Jane with conviction。
〃Exactly；〃 said Clovis thoughtfully； swallowing his
completed Ella Wheeler Wilcox。
〃But Sturridge hasn't gone mad；〃 said Jane with a
flutter of inquiry in her voice。
〃On most points he's thoroughly sane and reliable；〃
said Clovis； 〃but at times he is subject to the most
obstinate delusions； and on those occasions he becomes
not merely a nuisance but a decided embarrassment。〃
〃What sort of delusions？〃
〃Unfortunately they usually centre round one of the
guests of the house party； and that is where the
awkwardness comes in。 For instance； he took it into his
head that Matilda Sheringham was the Prophet Elijah； and
as all that he remembered about Elijah's history was the
episode of the ravens in the wilderness he absolutely
declined to interfere with what he imagined to be
Matilda's private catering arrangements； wouldn't allow
any tea to be sent up to her in the morning； and if he
was waiting at table he passed her over altogether in
handing round the dishes。〃
〃How very unpleasant。 Whatever did you do about
it？〃
〃Oh； Matilda got fed； after a fashion； but it was
judged to be best for her to cut her visit short。 It was
really the only thing to be done；〃 said Clovis with some
emphasis。
〃I shouldn't have done that；〃 said Jane； 〃I should
have humoured him in some way。 I certainly shouldn't
have gone away。〃
Clovis frowned。
〃It is not always wise to humour people when they
get these ideas into their heads。 There's no knowing to
what lengths they may go if you encourage them。〃
〃You don't mean to say he might be dangerous； do
you？〃 asked Jane with some anxiety。
〃One can never be certain；〃 said Clovis； 〃now and
then he gets some idea about a guest which might take an
unfortunate turn。 That is precisely what is worrying me
at the present moment。〃
〃What； has he taken a fancy about some one here
now？〃 asked Jane excitedly； 〃how thrilling！ Do tell me
who it is。〃
You；〃 said Clovis briefly。
〃Me？〃
Clovis nodded。
〃Who on earth does he think I am？〃
〃Queen Anne；〃 was the unexpected answer。
〃Queen Anne！ What an idea。 But； anyhow； there's
nothing dangerous about her； she's such a colourless
personality。〃
〃What does posterity chiefly say about Queen Anne？〃
asked Clovis rather sternly。
〃The only thing that I can remember about her；〃 said
Jane； 〃is the saying 'Queen Anne's dead。'〃
〃Exactly；〃 said Clovis； staring at the glass that
had held the Ella Wheeler Wilcox； 〃dead。〃
〃Do you mean he takes me for the ghost of Queen
Anne？〃 asked Jane。
〃Ghost？ Dear no。 No one ever heard of a ghost that
came down to breakfast and ate kidneys and toast and
honey with a healthy appetite。 No； it's the fact of you
being so very much alive and flourishing that perplexes
and annoys him。 All his life he has been accustomed to
look on Queen Anne as the personification of everything
that is dead and done with； 'as dead as Queen Anne；' you
know； and now he has to fill your glass at lunch and
dinner and listen to your accounts of the gay time you
had at the Dublin Horse Show； and naturally he feels that
something's very wrong with you。〃
〃But he wouldn't be downright hostile to me on that
account； would he？〃 Jane asked anxiously。
〃I didn't get really alarmed about it till lunch to…
day；〃 said Clovis； 〃I caught him glowering at you with a
very sinister look and muttering： 'Ought to be dead long
ago； she ought； and some one should see to it。' That's
why I mentioned the matter to you。〃
〃This is awful；〃 said Jane； 〃your mother must be
told about i