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'Our Circumlocution place。'
'I cannot charge any part of my reverses upon that remarkable
establishment。'
Upon my life；' said the vivacious young Barnacle； 'I am heartily glad to
knoe to hear you say it。 I should have
so exceedingly regretted our place having had anything to do with your
difficulties。'
Clennam again assured him that he absolved it of the responsibility。
'That's right；' said Ferdinand。 'I am very happy to hear it。 I was
rather afraid in my own mind that we might have helped to floor you；
because there is no doubt that it is our misfortune to do that kind
of thing now and then。 We don't want to do it； but if men will be
gravelled； why……we can't help it。'
'Without giving an unqualified assent to what you say；' returned Arthur；
gloomily； 'I am much obliged to you for your interest in me。'
'No； but really！ Our place is；' said the easy young Barnacle； 'the most
inoffensive place possible。 You'll say we are a humbug。 I won't say
we are not； but all that sort of thing is intended to be； and must be。
Don't you see？'
'I do not；' said Clennam。
'You don't regard it from the right point of view。 It is the point of
view that is the essential thing。 Regard our place from the point of
view that we only ask you to leave us alone； and we are as capital a
Department as you'll find anywhere。'
'Is your place there to be left alone？' asked Clennam。
'You exactly hit it；' returned Ferdinand。 'It is there with the express
intention that everything shall be left alone。 That is what it means。
That is what it's for。 No doubt there's a certain form to be kept up
that it's for something else； but it's only a form。 Why； good Heaven；
we are nothing but forms！ Think what a lot of our forms you have gone
through。 And you have never got any nearer to an end？'
'Never；' said Clennam。
'Look at it from the right point of view； and there you have
us……official and effectual。 It's like a limited game of cricket。 A field
of outsiders are always going in to bowl at the Public Service； and we
block the balls。'
Clennam asked what became of the bowlers？ The airy young Barnacle
replied that they grew tired； got dead beat； got lamed； got their backs
broken； died off； gave it up； went in for other games。
'And this occasions me to congratulate myself again；' he pursued；
'on the circumstance that our place has had nothing to do with your
temporary retirement。 It very easily might have had a hand in it；
because it is undeniable that we are sometimes a most unlucky place； in
our effects upon people who will not leave us alone。 Mr Clennam； I am
quite unreserved with you。 As between yourself and myself； I know I may
be。 I was so； when I first saw you making the mistake of not leaving us
alone； because I perceived that you were inexperienced and sanguine； and
had……I hope you'll not object to my saying……some simplicity。'
'Not at all。'
'Some simplicity。 Therefore I felt what a pity it was； and I went out
of my way to hint to you （which really was not official； but I never am
official when I can help it） something to the effect that if I were you；
I wouldn't bother myself。 However； you did bother yourself； and you have
since bothered yourself。 Now； don't do it any more。'
'I am not likely to have the opportunity；' said Clennam。
'Oh yes； you are！ You'll leave here。 Everybody leaves here。 There are no
ends of ways of leaving here。 Now； don't e back to us。 That entreaty
is the second object of my call。 Pray； don't e back to us。 Upon my
honour；' said Ferdinand in a very friendly and confiding way； 'I shall
be greatly vexed if you don't take warning by the past and keep away
from us。'
'And the invention？' said Clennam。
'My good fellow；' returned Ferdinand； 'if you'll excuse the freedom of
that form of address； nobody wants to know of the invention； and nobody
cares twopence…halfpenny about it。'
'Nobody in the Office； that is to say？'
'Nor out of it。 Everybody is ready to dislike and ridicule any
invention。 You have no idea how many people want to be left alone。
You have no idea how the Genius of the country （overlook the
Parliamentary nature of the phrase； and don't be bored by it） tends
to being left alone。 Believe me； Mr Clennam；' said the sprightly young
Barnacle in his pleasantest manner； 'our place is not a wicked Giant to
be charged at full tilt； but only a windmill showing you； as it grinds
immense quantities of chaff； which way the country wind blows。'
'If I could believe that；' said Clennam； 'it would be a dismal prospect
for all of us。'
'Oh！ Don't say so！' returned Ferdinand。 'It's all right。 We must have
humbug； we all like humbug； we couldn't get on without humbug。
A little humbug； and a groove； and everything goes on admirably； if you
leave it alone。'
With this hopeful confession of his faith as the head of the rising
Barnacles who were born of woman； to be followed under a variety of
watchwords which they utterly repudiated and disbelieved； Ferdinand
rose。 Nothing could be more agreeable than his frank and courteous
bearing； or adapted with a more gentlemanly instinct to the
circumstances of his visit。
'Is it fair to ask；' he said； as Clennam gave him his hand with a real
feeling of thankfulness for his candour and good…humour； 'whether it
is true that our late lamented Merdle is the cause of this passing
inconvenience？'
'I am one of the many he has ruined。 Yes。'
'He must have been an exceedingly clever fellow；' said Ferdinand
Barnacle。
Arthur； not being in the mood to extol the memory of the deceased； was
silent。
'A consummate rascal； of course；' said Ferdinand； 'but remarkably
clever！ One cannot help admiring the fellow。 Must have been such a
master of humbug。 Knew people so well……got over them so pletely……did
so much with them！' In his easy way； he was really moved to genuine
admiration。
'I hope；' said Arthur； 'that he and his dupes may be a warning to people
not to have so much done with them again。'
'My dear Mr Clennam；' returned Ferdinand； laughing； 'have you really
such a verdant hope？ The next man who has as large a capacity and as
genuine a taste for swindling； will succeed as well。 Pardon me； but
I think you really have no idea how the human bees will swarm to the
beating of any old tin kettle； in that fact lies the plete manual of
governing them。 When they can be got to believe that the kettle is made
of the precious metals； in that fact lies the whole power of men like
our late lamented。 No doubt there are here and there；' said Ferdinand
politely； 'exceptional cases； where people have been taken in for what
appeared to them to be much better reasons； and I need not go far to
find such a case； but they don't invalidate the rule。 Good day！ I hope
that when I have the pleasure of seeing you； next； this passing cloud
will have given place to sunshine。 Don't e a step beyond the door。 I
know the way out perfectly。 Good day！'
With those words； the best and brightest of the Barnacles went
down…stairs； hummed his way through the Lodge； mounted his horse in the
front court…yard； and rode off to keep an appointment with his noble
kinsman； who wanted a little coaching before he