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She did not need now to analyze her feelings。 They were only too
evident。 For she could translate what she had just seen as meaning only
one thingthat she had considered Philip's love so lightly that she had not
felt it passing away from her until her neglect had killed ituntil it was too
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late。 And now that it was too late she felt that without it her life could
not go on。 She tried to assure herself that only the fact that she had lost it
made it seem invaluable； but this thought did not comfort hershe was not
deceived by it； she knew that at last she cared for him deeply and entirely。
In her distress she blamed herself bitterly； but she also blamed Philip no
less bitterly for having failed to wait for her。 〃He might have known that
I must love him in time；〃 she repeated to herself again and again。 She
was so unhappy that her letter congratulating Philip on his good fortune in
having his comedy accepted seemed to him cold and unfeeling； and as his
success meant for him only what it meant to her； he was hurt and
grievously disappointed。
He accordingly turned the more readily to Marion； whose interests and
enthusiasm at the rehearsals of the piece seemed in contrast most friendly
and unselfish。 He could not help but compare the attitude of the two girls
at this time； when the failure or success of his best work was still
undecided。 He felt that as Helen took so little interest in his success he
could not dare to trouble her with his anxieties concerning it； and she
attributed his silence to his preoccupation and interest in Marion。 So the
two grew apart； each misunderstanding the other and each troubled in
spirit at the other's indifference。
The first night of the play justified all that Marion and Wimpole had
claimed for it； and was a great personal triumph for the new playwright。
The audience was the typical first…night audience of the class which
Charles Wimpole always commanded。 It was brilliant； intelligent； and
smart； and it came prepared to be pleased。
From one of the upper stage…boxes Helen and Lady Gower watched
the successful progress of the play with an anxiety almost as keen as that
of the author。 To Helen it seemed as though the giving of these lines to
the publicthese lines which he had so often read to her； and altered to her
likingwas a desecration。 It seemed as though she were losing him
indeedas though he now belonged to these strange people； all of whom
were laughing and applauding his words； from the German Princess in the
Royal box to the straight…backed Tommy in the pit。 Instead of the
painted scene before her； she saw the birch…trees by the river at home；
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where he had first read her the speech to which they were now listening so
intenselythe speech in which the hero tells the girl he loves her。 She
remembered that at the time she had thought how wonderful it would be if
some day some one made such a speech to hernot Philipbut a man she
loved。 And now？ If Philip would only make that speech to her now！
He came out at last； with Wimpole leading him； and bowed across a
glaring barrier of lights at a misty but vociferous audience that was
shouting the generous English bravo！ and standing up to applaud。 He
raised his eyes to the box where Helen sat； and saw her staring down at the
tumult； with her hands clasped under her chin。 Her face was colorless；
but lit with the excitement of the moment； and he saw that she was crying。
Lady Gower； from behind her； was clapping her hands delightedly。
〃But； my dear Helen；〃 she remonstrated breathlessly； 〃you never told
me he was so good…looking。〃
〃Yes；〃 said Helen； rising abruptly； 〃he isvery good…looking。〃
She crossed the box to where her cloak was hanging； but instead of
taking it down buried her face in its folds。
〃My dear child！〃 cried Lady Gower； in dismay。 〃What is it？ The
excitement has been too much for you。〃
〃No； I am just happy；〃 sobbed Helen。 〃I am just happy for him。〃
〃We will go and tell him so then；〃 said Lady Gower。 〃I am sure he
would like to hear it from you to…night。〃
Philip was standing in the centre of the stage； surrounded by many
pretty ladies and elderly men。 Wimpole was hovering over him as
though he had claims upon him by the right of discovery。
But when Philip saw Helen； he pushed his way toward her eagerly and
took her hand in both of his。
〃I am so glad； Phil；〃 she said。 She felt it all so deeply that she was
afraid to say more； but that meant so much to her that she was sure he
would understand。
He had planned it very differently。 For a year he had dreamed that；
on the first night of his play； there would be a supper； and that he would
rise and drink her health； and tell his friends and the world that she was the
woman he loved； and that she had agreed to marry him； and that at last he
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was able； through the success of his play； to make her his wife。
And now they met in a crowd to shake hands； and she went her way
with one of her grand ladies； and he was left among a group of chattering
strangers。 The great English playwright took him by the hand and in the
hearing of all； praised him gracefully and kindly。 It did not matter to
Philip whether the older playwright believed what he said or not； he knew
it was generously meant。
〃I envy you this；〃 the great man was saying。 〃Don't lose any of it；
stay and listen to all they have to say。 You will never live through the
first night of your first play but once。〃
〃Yes； I hear them；〃 said Philip； nervously； 〃they are all too kind。 But
I don't hear the voice I have been listening for；〃 he added in a whisper。
The older man pressed his hand again quickly。 〃My dear boy；〃 he said； 〃I
am sorry。〃
〃Thank you；〃 Philip answered。
Within a week he had forgotten the great man'