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and not be listening to him or the like of him。 Please your honour； it's
what he has brought me before your honour； because he had a spite against
me about some oats I sold your honour； which he was jealous of； and a
shawl his wife got at my shister's shop there without； and never paid for；
so I offered to set the shawl against the grazing； and give him a receipt in
full of all demands； but he wouldn't out of spite； please your honour； so he
brought me before your honour； expecting your honour was mad with me
for cutting down the tree in the horse park； which was none of my doing；
please your honourill…luck to them that went and belied me to your
honour behind my back！ So if your honour is pleasing； I'll tell you the
whole truth about the horse that he swopped against my mare out of the
face。 Last Shrove fair I met this man； Jemmy Duffy； please your honour；
just at the corner of the road； where the bridge is broken down； that your
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honour is to have the presentment for this yearlong life to you for it！
And he was at that time coming from the fair of Gurtishannon； and I the
same way。 〃How are you； Jemmy？〃 says I。 〃Very well； I thank ye
kindly； Bryan；〃 says he； 〃shall we turn back to Paddy Salmon's and take a
naggin of whisky to our better acquaintance？〃 〃I don't care if I did；
Jemmy；〃 says I； 〃only it is what I can't take the whisky； because I'm under
an oath against it for a month。〃 Ever since； please your honour； the day
your honour met me on the road； and observed to me I could hardly stand；
I had taken so much； though upon my conscience your honour wronged
me greatly that same timeill…luck to them that belied me behind my back
to your honour！ Well； please your honour； as I was telling you； as he was
taking the whisky； and we talking of one thing or t'other； he makes me an
offer to swop his mare that he couldn't sell at the fair of Gurtishannon；
because nobody would be troubled with the beast； please your honour；
against my horse； and to oblige him I took the maresorrow take her！
and him along with her！ She kicked me a new car； that was worth three
pounds ten； to tatters the first time I ever put her into it； and I expect your
honour will make him pay me the price of the car； anyhow； before I pay
the grazing； which I've no right to pay at…all…at…all； only to oblige him。
But I leave it all to your honour； and the whole grazing he ought to be
charging for the beast is but two and eightpence halfpenny； anyhow； please
your honour。 So I'll abide by what your honour says； good or bad。 I'll
leave it all to your honour。
I'll leave IT all to your honourliterally means； I'll leave all the trouble
to your honour。
The Editor knew a justice of the peace in Ireland who had such a dread
of HAVING IT ALL LEFT TO HIS HONOUR； that he frequently gave the
complainants the sum about which they were disputing； to make peace
between them； and to get rid of the trouble of hearing their stories OUT
OF THE FACE。 But he was soon cured of this method of buying off
disputes； by the increasing multitude of those who； out of pure regard to
his honour； came 'to get justice from him； because they would sooner
come before him than before any man in all Ireland。'
GLOSSARY 25。 A RAKING POT OF TEA。we should observe； this
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custom has long since been banished from the higher orders of Irish gentry。
The mysteries of a raking pot of tea； like those of the Bona Dea； are
supposed to be sacred to females； but now and then it has happened that
some of the male species； who were either more audacious； or more highly
favoured than the rest of their sex； have been admitted by stealth to these
orgies。 The time when the festive ceremony begins varies according to
circumstances； but it is never earlier than twelve o'clock at night； the joys
of a raking pot of tea depending on its being made in secret； and at an
unseasonable hour。 After a ball； when the more discreet part of the
company has departed to rest； a few chosen female spirits； who have
footed it till they can foot it no longer； and till the sleepy notes expire
under the slurring hand of the musician； retire to a bedchamber； call the
favourite maid； who alone is admitted； bid her PUT DOWN THE
KETTLE； lock the door； and amidst as much giggling and scrambling as
possible； they get round a tea…table； on which all manner of things are
huddled together。 Then begin mutual railleries and mutual confidences
amongst the young ladies； and the faint scream and the loud laugh is heard；
and the romping for letters and pocket…books begins； and gentlemen are
called by their surnames； or by the general name of fellows！ pleasant
fellows！ charming fellows！ odious fellows！ abominable fellows！ and
then all prudish decorums are forgotten； and then we might be convinced
how much the satirical poet was mistaken when he said
There is no woman where there's no reserve。
The merit of the original idea of a raking pot of tea evidently belongs
to the washerwoman and the laundry…maid。 But why should not we have
LOW LIFE ABOVE STAIRS as well as HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS？
GLOSSARY 26。 WE GAINED THE DAY BY THIS PIECE OF
HONESTY。In a dispute which occurred some years ago in Ireland；
between Mr。 E。 and Mr。 M。； about the boundaries of a farm； an old tenant
of Mr。 M。's cut a SOD from Mr。 M。's land； and inserted it in a spot
prepared for its reception in Mr。 E。's land； so nicely was it inserted； that no
eye could detect the junction of the grass。 The old man； who was to give
his evidence as to the property； stood upon the inserted sod when the
VIEWERS came； and swore that the ground he THEN STOOD UPON
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belonged to his landlord； Mr。 M。
The Editor had flattered himsel