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presented with the gloomiest possible picture of their own
prospects before they came here； otherwise； they could hardly say
to one whom they are going to punish for an affection of the heart
or brain that it is all his own doing。 In practice they modify
their theory to a considerable extent； and seldom refer to the
birth formula except in extreme cases； for the force of habit； or
what not； gives many of them a kindly interest even in creatures
who have so much wronged them as the unborn have done； and though a
man generally hates the unwelcome little stranger for the first
twelve months； he is apt to mollify （according to his lights） as
time goes on； and sometimes he will become inordinately attached to
the beings whom he is pleased to call his children。
Of course； according to Erewhonian premises； it would serve people
right to be punished and scouted for moral and intellectual
diseases as much as for physical； and I cannot to this day
understand why they should have stopped short half way。 Neither；
again； can I understand why their having done so should have been；
as it certainly was； a matter of so much concern to myself。 What
could it matter to me how many absurdities the Erewhonians might
adopt？ Nevertheless I longed to make them think as I did； for the
wish to spread those opinions that we hold conducive to our own
welfare is so deeply rooted in the English character that few of us
can escape its influence。 But let this pass。
In spite of not a few modifications in practice of a theory which
is itself revolting； the relations between children and parents in
that country are less happy than in Europe。 It was rarely that I
saw cases of real hearty and intense affection between the old
people and the young ones。 Here and there I did so； and was quite
sure that the children； even at the age of twenty； were fonder of
their parents than they were of any one else； and that of their own
inclination； being free to choose what company they would； they
would often choose that of their father and mother。 The
straightener's carriage was rarely seen at the door of those
houses。 I saw two or three such cases during the time that I
remained in the country； and cannot express the pleasure which I
derived from a sight suggestive of so much goodness and wisdom and
forbearance； so richly rewarded； yet I firmly believe that the same
thing would happen in nine families out of ten if the parents were
merely to remember how they felt when they were young； and actually
to behave towards their children as they would have had their own
parents behave towards themselves。 But this； which would appear to
be so simple and obvious； seems also to be a thing which not one in
a hundred thousand is able to put in practice。 It is only the very
great and good who have any living faith in the simplest axioms；
and there are few who are so holy as to feel that 19 and 13 make 32
as certainly as 2 and 2 make 4。
I am quite sure that if this narrative should ever fall into
Erewhonian hands； it will be said that what I have written about
the relations between parents and children being seldom
satisfactory is an infamous perversion of facts； and that in truth
there are few young people who do not feel happier in the society
of their nearest relations ｛4｝ than in any other。 Mr。 Nosnibor
would be sure to say this。 Yet I cannot refrain from expressing an
opinion that he would be a good deal embarrassed if his deceased
parents were to reappear and propose to pay him a six months'
visit。 I doubt whether there are many things which he would regard
as a greater infliction。 They had died at a ripe old age some
twenty years before I came to know him； so the case is an extreme
one； but surely if they had treated him with what in his youth he
had felt to be true unselfishness； his face would brighten when he
thought of them to the end of his life。
In the one or two cases of true family affection which I met with；
I am sure that the young people who were so genuinely fond of their
fathers and mothers at eighteen； would at sixty be perfectly
delighted were they to get the chance of welcoming them as their
guests。 There is nothing which could please them better； except
perhaps to watch the happiness of their own children and
grandchildren。
This is how things should be。 It is not an impossible ideal； it is
one which actually does exist in some few cases； and might exist in
almost all； with a little more patience and forbearance upon the
parents' part； but it is rare at presentso rare that they have a
proverb which I can only translate in a very roundabout way； but
which says that the great happiness of some people in a future
state will consist in watching the distress of their parents on
returning to eternal companionship with their grandfathers and
grandmothers； whilst 〃compulsory affection〃 is the idea which lies
at the root of their word for the deepest anguish。
There is no talisman in the word 〃parent〃 which can generate
miracles of affection； and I can well believe that my own child
might find it less of a calamity to lose both Arowhena and myself
when he is six years old； than to find us again when he is sixtya
sentence which I would not pen did I not feel that by doing so I
was giving him something like a hostage； or at any rate putting a
weapon into his hands against me； should my selfishness exceed
reasonable limits。
Money is at the bottom of all this to a great extent。 If the
parents would put their children in the way of earning a competence
earlier than they do； the children would soon become self…
supporting and independent。 As it is； under the present system；
the young ones get old enough to have all manner of legitimate
wants （that is； if they have any 〃go〃 about them） before they have
learnt the means of earning money to pay for them； hence they must
either do without them； or take more money than the parents can be
expected to spare。 This is due chiefly to the schools of Unreason；
where a boy is taught upon hypothetical principles； as I will
explain hereafter； spending years in being incapacitated for doing
this； that； or the other （he hardly knows what）； during all which
time he ought to have been actually doing the thing itself；
beginning at the lowest grades； picking it up through actual
practice； and rising according to the energy which is in him。
These schools of Unreason surprised me much。 It would be easy to
fall into pseudo…utilitarianism； and I would fain believe that the
system may be good for the children of very rich parents； or for
those who show a natural instinct to acquire hypothetical lore； but
the misery was that their Ydgrun…worship required all people with
any pretence to respectability to send their children to some one
or other of these schools； mulcting them of years of money。 It
astonished me to see what sacrifices the parents would make in
order to render their children as nearly useless as possible； and
it was hard to say whether the old suffered most from the expense
which they were thus put to； or the young from being deliberately
swindled in some of the most important branches of human inquir