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dead。 Then I left the room without any remark。 It made it
worseif anything couldto hear that stale； worn…out old
phrase； still supposed by those dullards to have some efficacy。
To nature； as usual； I drifted by instinct； and there； out of the
track of humanity； under a friendly hedge…row had my black hour
unseen。 The world was a globe no longer； space was no more
filled with whirling circuses of spheres。 That day the old
beliefs rose up and asserted themselves； and the earth was flat
againditch…riddled； stagnant； and deadly flat。 The undeviating
roads crawled straight and white； elms dressed themselves stiffly
along inflexible hedges； all nature； centrifugal no longer；
sprawled flatly in lines out to its farthest edge； and I felt
just like walking out to that terminus； and dropping quietly
off。 Then； as I sat there； morosely chewing bits of stick； the
recollection came back to me of certain fascinating
advertisements I had spelled out in the papersadvertisements of
great and happy men； owning big ships of tonnage running into
four figures； who yet craved； to the extent of public
supplication； for the sympathetic co…operation of youths as
apprentices。 I did not rightly know what apprentices might be；
nor whether I was yet big enough to be styled a youth； but one
thing seemed clear； that； by some such means as this； whatever
the intervening hardships； I could eventually visit all the
circuses of the worldthe circuses of merry France and gaudy
Spain； of Holland and Bohemia； of China and Peru。 Here was a
plan worth thinking out in all its bearings； for something had
presently to be done to end this intolerable state of things。
Mid…day； and even feeding…time； passed by gloomily enough； till a
small disturbance occurred which had the effect of releasing some
of the electricity with which the air was charged。 Harold； it
should be explained； was of a very different mental mould； and
never brooded； moped； nor ate his heart out over any
disappointment。 One wild outburstone dissolution of a minute
into his original elements of air and water； of tears and
outcryso much insulted nature claimed。 Then he would pull
himself together； iron out his countenance with a smile； and
adjust himself to the new condition of things。
If the gods are ever grateful to man for anything； it is when he
is so good as to display a short memory。 The Olympians were
never slow to recognize this quality of Harold's； in which；
indeed； their salvation lay； and on this occasion their gratitude
had taken the practical form of a fine fat orange； tough…
rinded as oranges of those days were wont to be。 This he had
eviscerated in the good old…fashioned manner； by biting out a
hole in the shoulder； inserting a lump of sugar therein； and then
working it cannily till the whole soul and body of the orange
passed glorified through the sugar into his being。 Thereupon；
filled full of orange…juice and iniquity； he conceived a deadly
snare。 Having deftly patted and squeezed the orange…skin till it
resumed its original shape； he filled it up with water； inserted
a fresh lump of sugar in the orifice； and； issuing forth； blandly
proffered it to me as I sat moodily in the doorway dreaming of
strange wild circuses under tropic skies。
Such a stale old dodge as this would hardly have taken me in at
ordinary moments。 But Harold had reckoned rightly upon the
disturbing effect of ill…humour； and had guessed； perhaps； that I
thirsted for comfort and consolation； and would not criticise
too closely the source from which they came。 Unthinkingly I
grasped the golden fraud； which collapsed at my touch； and
squirted its contents into my eyes and over my collar； till the
nethermost parts of me were damp with the water that had run down
my neck。 In an instant I had Harold down； and； with all the
energy of which I was capable； devoted myself to grinding his
head into the gravel； while he； realizing that the closure was
applied； and that the time for discussion or argument was past；
sternly concentrated his powers on kicking me in the stomach。
Some people can never allow events to work themselves out
quietly。 At this juncture one of Them swooped down on the scene；
pouring shrill； misplaced abuse on both of us： on me for ill…
treating my younger brother； whereas it was distinctly I who was
the injured and the deceived； on him for the high offence of
assault and battery on a clean collara collar which I had
myself deflowered and defaced； shortly before； in sheer desperate
ill…temper。 Disgusted and defiant we fled in different
directions； rejoining each other later in the kitchen…garden； and
as we strolled along together； our short feud forgotten； Harold
observed； gloomily： 〃I should like to be a cave…man； like Uncle
George was tellin' us about： with a flint hatchet and no clothes；
and live in a cave and not know anybody！〃
〃And if anyone came to see us we didn't like；〃 I joined in；
catching on to the points of the idea； 〃we'd hit him on the head
with the hatchet till he dropped down dead。〃
〃And then；〃 said Harold； warming up； 〃we'd drag him into the cave
and SKIN HIM！〃
For a space we gloated silently over the fair scene our
imaginations had conjured up。 It was BLOOD we felt the
need of just then。 We wanted no luxuries； nothing dear…bought
nor far…fetched。 Just plain blood； and nothing else； and plenty
of it。
Blood； however； was not to be had。 The time was out of joint；
and we had been born too late。 So we went off to the greenhouse；
crawled into the heating arrangement underneath； and played at
the dark and dirty and unrestricted life of cave…men till we were
heartily sick of it。 Then we emerged once more into historic
times； and went off to the road to look for something living and
sentient to throw stones at。
Nature； so often a cheerful ally； sometimes sulks and refuses to
play。 When in this mood she passes the word to her underlings；
and all the little people of fur and feather take the hint and
slip home quietly by back streets。 In vain we scouted； lurked；
crept； and ambuscaded。 Everything that usually scurried； hopped；
or flutteredthe small society of the undergrowthseemed to
have engagements elsewhere。 The horrid thought that perhaps they
had all gone off to the circus occurred to us simultaneously； and
we humped ourselves up on the fence and felt bad。 Even the sound
of approaching wheels failed to stir any interest in us。 When
you are bent on throwing stones at something； humanity seems
obtrusive and better away。 Then suddenly we both jumped off the
fence together； our faces clearing。 For our educated ear had
told us that the approaching rattle could only proceed from a
dog…cart； and we felt sure it must be the funny man。
We called him the funny man because he was sad and serious； and
said little； but gazed right into our souls； and made us tell him
just what was on our minds at the time；