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Tarquin； the huge white Yorkshire boar…pig； had exchanged the narrow
limits of his stye for the wider range of the grass paddock。 The
discomfited Stossen expedition； returning in recriminatory but otherwise
orderly retreat from the unyielding obstacle of the locked door； came to
a sudden halt at the gate dividing the paddock from the gooseberry
garden。
〃What a villainous…looking animal；〃 exclaimed Mrs。 Stossen； 〃it
wasn't there when we came in。〃
〃It's there now； anyhow；〃 said her daughter。 〃What on earth are we
to do？ I wish we had never come。〃
The boar…pig had drawn nearer to the gate for a closer inspection of
the human intruders； and stood champing his jaws and blinking his small
red eyes in a manner that was doubtless intended to be disconcerting；
and； as far as the Stossens were concerned； thoroughly achieved that
result。
〃Shoo！ Hish！ Hish！ Shoo！〃 cried the ladies in chorus。
〃If they think they're going to drive him away by reciting lists of the
kings of Israel and Judah they're laying themselves out for
disappointment；〃 observed Matilda from her seat in the medlar tree。 As
she made the observation aloud Mrs。 Stossen became for the first time
aware of her presence。 A moment or two earlier she would have been
anything but pleased at the discovery that the garden was not as deserted
as it looked； but now she hailed the fact of the child's presence on the
scene with absolute relief。
〃Little girl； can you find some one to drive away … 〃 she began
hopefully。
〃COMMENT？ COMPRENDS PAS；〃 was the response。
〃Oh； are you French？ ETES VOUS FRANCAISE？〃
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BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
〃PAS DE TOUS。 'SUIS ANGLAISE。〃
〃Then why not talk English？ I want to know if … 〃
〃PERMETTEZ…MOI EXPLIQUER。 You see； I'm rather under a
cloud；〃 said Matilda。 〃I'm staying with my aunt； and I was told I must
behave particularly well to…day； as lots of people were coming for a
garden party； and I was told to imitate Claude； that's my young cousin；
who never does anything wrong except by accident； and then is always
apologetic about it。 It seems they thought I ate too much raspberry
trifle at lunch； and they said Claude never eats too much raspberry trifle。
Well； Claude always goes to sleep for half an hour after lunch； because
he's told to； and I waited till he was asleep； and tied his hands and started
forcible feeding with a whole bucketful of raspberry trifle that they were
keeping for the garden…party。 Lots of it went on to his sailor…suit and
some of it on to the bed； but a good deal went down Claude's throat； and
they can't say again that he has never been known to eat too much
raspberry trifle。 That is why I am not allowed to go to the party； and as
an additional punishment I must speak French all the afternoon。 I've
had to tell you all this in English； as there were words like ‘forcible
feeding' that I didn't know the French for； of course I could have
invented them； but if I had said NOURRITURE OBLIGATOIRE you
wouldn't have had the least idea what I was talking about。 MAIS
MAINTENANT； NOUS PARLONS FRANCAIS。〃
〃Oh； very well； TRES BIEN；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen reluctantly； in
moments of flurry such French as she knew was not under very good
control。 〃LA； A L'AUTRE COTE DE LA PORTE； EST UN COCHON
… 〃
〃UN COCHON？ AH； LE PETIT CHARMANT！〃 exclaimed Matilda
with enthusiasm。
〃MAIS NON； PAS DU TOUT PETIT； ET PAS DU TOUT
CHARMANT； UN BETE FEROCE … 〃
〃UNE BETE；〃 corrected Matilda； 〃a pig is masculine as long as you
call it a pig； but if you lose your temper with it and call it a ferocious
beast it becomes one of us at once。 French is a dreadfully unsexing
language。〃
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BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
〃For goodness' sake let us talk English then；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen。 〃Is
there any way out of this garden except through the paddock where the
pig is？〃
〃I always go over the wall； by way of the plum tree；〃 said Matilda。
〃Dressed as we are we could hardly do that；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen； it
was difficult to imagine her doing it in any costume。
〃Do you think you could go and get some one who would drive the
pig away？〃 asked Miss Stossen。
〃I promised my aunt I would stay here till five o'clock； it's not four
yet。〃
〃I am sure； under the circumstances； your aunt would permit … 〃
〃My conscience would not permit；〃 said Matilda with cold dignity。
〃We can't stay here till five o'clock；〃 exclaimed Mrs。 Stossen with
growing exasperation。
〃Shall I recite to you to make the time pass quicker？〃 asked Matilda
obligingly。 〃 ‘Belinda； the little Breadwinner；' is considered my best
piece； or； perhaps； it ought to be something in French。 Henri Quatre's
address to his soldiers is the only thing I really know in that language。〃
〃If you will go and fetch some one to drive that animal away I will
give you something to buy yourself a nice present；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen。
Matilda came several inches lower down the medlar tree。
〃That is the most practical suggestion you have made yet for getting
out of the garden；〃 she remarked cheerfully； 〃Claude and I are collecting
money for the Children's Fresh Air Fund； and we are seeing which of us
can collect the biggest sum。〃
〃I shall be very glad to contribute half a crown； very glad indeed；〃
said Mrs。 Stossen； digging that coin out of the depths of a receptacle
which formed a detached outwork of her toilet。
〃Claude is a long way ahead of me at present；〃 continued Matilda；
taking