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for this earth！ In fact； it was only because I and my chimney
formed no part of his ancient burden； that that stout peddler；
Atlas of old； was enabled to stand up so bravely under his pack。
The dimensions given may； perhaps； seem fabulous。 But； like those
stones at Gilgal； which Joshua set up for a memorial of having
passed over Jordan； does not my chimney remain； even unto this
day？
Very often I go down into my cellar； and attentively survey that
vast square of masonry。 I stand long； and ponder over； and
wonder at it。 It has a druidical look； away down in the
umbrageous cellar there whose numerous vaulted passages； and far
glens of gloom； resemble the dark； damp depths of primeval woods。
So strongly did this conceit steal over me； so deeply was I
penetrated with wonder at the chimney； that one daywhen I was a
little out of my mind； I now thinkgetting a spade from the
garden； I set to work； digging round the foundation； especially
at the corners thereof； obscurely prompted by dreams of striking
upon some old； earthen…worn memorial of that by…gone day； when；
into all this gloom； the light of heaven entered； as the masons
laid the foundation…stones； peradventure sweltering under an
August sun； or pelted by a March storm。 Plying my blunted spade；
how vexed was I by that ungracious interruption of a neighbor
who； calling to see me upon some business； and being informed
that I was below said I need not be troubled to come up； but he
would go down to me； and so； without ceremony； and without my
having been forewarned； suddenly discovered me； digging in my
cellar。
〃Gold digging； sir？〃
〃Nay； sir；〃 answered I； starting； 〃I was merelyahem！merelyI
say I was merely digging…round my chimney。〃
〃Ah； loosening the soil； to make it grow。 Your chimney； sir； you
regard as too small； I suppose； needing further development；
especially at the top？〃
〃Sir！〃 said I； throwing down the spade； 〃do not be personal。 I
and my chimney〃
〃Personal？〃
〃Sir； I look upon this chimney less as a pile of masonry than as
a personage。 It is the king of the house。 I am but a suffered and
inferior subject。〃
In fact； I would permit no gibes to be cast at either myself or
my chimney； and never again did my visitor refer to it in my
hearing； without coupling some compliment with the mention。 It
well deserves a respectful consideration。 There it stands；
solitary and alonenot a councilof ten flues； but； like his
sacred majesty of Russia； a unit of an autocrat。
Even to me； its dimensions； at times； seem incredible。 It does
not look so bigno； not even in the cellar。 By the mere eye； its
magnitude can be but imperfectly comprehended； because only one
side can be received at one time； and said side can only present
twelve feet； linear measure。 But then； each other side also is
twelve feet long； and the whole obviously forms a square and
twelve times twelve is one hundred and forty…four。 And so； an
adequate conception of the magnitude of this chimney is only to
be got at by a sort of process in the higher mathematics by a
method somewhat akin to those whereby the surprising distances of
fixed stars are computed。
It need hardly be said； that the walls of my house are entirely
free from fireplaces。 These all congregate in the middlein the
one grand central chimney； upon all four sides of which are
hearthstwo tiers of hearthsso that when； in the various
chambers； my family and guests are warming themselves of a cold
winter's night； just before retiring； then； though at the time
they may not be thinking so； all their faces mutually look
towards each other； yea； all their feet point to one centre； and；
when they go to sleep in their beds； they all sleep round one
warm chimney； like so many Iroquois Indians； in the woods； round
their one heap of embers。 And just as the Indians' fire serves；
not only to keep them comfortable； but also to keep off wolves；
and other savage monsters； so my chimney； by its obvious smoke at
top； keeps off prowling burglars from the townsfor what burglar
or murderer would dare break into an abode from whose chimney
issues such a continual smokebetokening that if the inmates are
not stirring； at least fires are； and in case of an alarm；
candles may readily be lighted； to say nothing of muskets。
But stately as is the chimneyyea； grand high altar as it is；
right worthy for the celebration of high mass before the Pope of
Rome； and all his cardinalsyet what is there perfect in this
world？ Caius Julius Caesar； had he not been so inordinately
great； they say that Brutus； Cassius； Antony； and the rest； had
been greater。 My chimney； were it not so mighty in its magnitude；
my chambers had been larger。 How often has my wife ruefully told
me； that my chimney； like the English aristocracy； casts a
contracting shade all round it。 She avers that endless domestic
inconveniences arisemore particularly from the chimney's
stubborn central locality。 The grand objection with her is； that
it stands midway in the place where a fine entrance…hall ought to
be。 In truth； there is no hall whatever to the housenothing but
a sort of square landing…place； as you enter from the wide front
door。 A roomy enough landing…place； I admit； but not attaining to
the dignity of a hall。 Now； as the front door is precisely in the
middle of the front of the house； inwards it faces the chimney。
In fact； the opposite wall of the landing…place is formed solely
by the chimney； and hence…owing to the gradual tapering of the
chimneyis a little less than twelve feet in width。 Climbing the
chimney in this part； is the principal staircasewhich； by three
abrupt turns； and three minor landing…places； mounts to the
second floor； where； over the front door； runs a sort of narrow
gallery； something less than twelve feet long； leading to
chambers on either hand。 This gallery； of course； is railed； and
so； looking down upon the stairs； and all those landing…places
together； with the main one at bottom； resembles not a little a
balcony for musicians； in some jolly old abode； in times
Elizabethan。 Shall I tell a weakness？ I cherish the cobwebs
there； and many a time arrest Biddy in the act of brushing them
with her broom； and have many a quarrel with my wife and
daughters about it。
Now the ceiling； so to speak； of the place where you enter the
house； that ceiling is； in fact； the ceiling of the second floor；
not the first。 The two floors are made one here； so that
ascending this turning stairs； you seem going up into a kind of
soaring tower； or lighthouse。 At the second landing； midway up
the chimney； is a mysterious door； entering to a mysterious
closet； and here I keep mysterious cordials； of a choice；
mysterious flavor； made so by the constant nurturing and subtle
ripening of the chimney's gentle heat； distilled through that
warm mass of masonry。 Better for wines is it than voyages to the
Indias； my chimney itself