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before going to bed。 But all this is nonsense； dear！ only don't be
frightened by Miss Pole from being married。 I can fancy it may be a
very happy state； and a little credulity helps one on through life very
smoothly … better than always doubting and doubting and seeing
difficulties and disagreeables in everything。〃
If I had been inclined to be daunted from matrimony； it would not
have been Miss Pole to do it； it would have been the lot of poor Signor
Brunoni and his wife。 And yet again； it was an encouragement to see
how； through all their cares and sorrows； they thought of each other and
not of themselves； and how keen were their joys； if they only passed
through each other； or through the little Phoebe。
The signora told me； one day； a good deal about their lives up to this
period。 It began by my asking her whether Miss Pole's story of the
twin…brothers were true； it sounded so wonderful a likeness； that I should
have had my doubts； if Miss Pole had not been unmarried。 But the
signora； or （as we found out she preferred to be called） Mrs Brown； said
it was quite true； that her brother…in… law was by many taken for her
husband； which was of great assistance to them in their profession；
〃though；〃 she continued； 〃how people can mistake Thomas for the real
Signor Brunoni； I can't conceive； but he says they do； so I suppose I
must believe him。 Not but what he is a very good man； I am sure I don't
know how we should have paid our bill at the 'Rising Sun' but for the
money he sends； but people must know very little about art if they can
take him for my husband。 Why； Miss； in the ball trick； where my
husband spreads his fingers wide； and throws out his little finger with
quite an air and a grace； Thomas just clumps up his hand like a fist； and
might have ever so many balls hidden in it。 Besides； he has never been
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in India； and knows nothing of the proper sit of a turban。〃
〃Have you been in India？〃 said I； rather astonished。
〃Oh； yes！ many a year； ma'am。 Sam was a sergeant in the 31st； and
when the regiment was ordered to India； I drew a lot to go； and I was
more thankful than I can tell； for it seemed as if it would only be a slow
death to me to part from my husband。 But； indeed； ma'am； if I had
known all； I don't know whether I would not rather have died there and
then than gone through what I have done since。 To be sure； I've been
able to comfort Sam； and to be with him； but； ma'am； I've lost six
children；〃 said she； looking up at me with those strange eyes that I've
never noticed but in mothers of dead children … with a kind of wild look
in them； as if seeking for what they never more might find。 〃Yes！ Six
children died off； like little buds nipped untimely； in that cruel India。 I
thought； as each died； I never could … I never would … love a child again；
and when the next came； it had not only its own love； but the deeper
love that came from the thoughts of its little dead brothers and sisters。
And when Phoebe was coming； I said to my husband； 'Sam； when the
child is born； and I am strong； I shall leave you； it will cut my heart cruel；
but if this baby dies too； I shall go mad； the madness is in me now； but if
you let me go down to Calcutta； carrying my baby step by step； it will；
maybe； work itself off； and I will save； and I will hoard； and I will beg …
and I will die； to get a passage home to England； where our baby may
live？' God bless him！ he said I might go； and he saved up his pay； and I
saved every pice I could get for washing or any way； and when Phoebe
came； and I grew strong again； I set off。 It was very lonely； through the
thick forests； dark again with their heavy trees … along by the river's side
（but I had been brought up near the Avon in Warwickshire； so that
flowing noise sounded like home） … from station to station； from Indian
village to village； I went along； carrying my child。 I had seen one of
the officer's ladies with a little picture； ma'am … done by a Catholic
foreigner； ma'am … of the Virgin and the little Saviour； ma'am。 She had
him on her arm； and her form was softly curled round him； and their
cheeks touched。 Well； when I went to bid good…bye to this lady； for
whom I had washed； she cried sadly； for she； too； had lost her children；
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but she had not another to save； like me； and I was bold enough to ask
her would she give me that print。 And she cried the more； and said her
children were with that little blessed Jesus； and gave it me； and told me
that she had heard it had been painted on the bottom of a cask； which
made it have that round shape。 And when my body was very weary；
and my heart was sick （for there were times when I misdoubted if I
could ever reach my home； and there were times when I thought of my
husband； and one time when I thought my baby was dying）； I took out
that picture and looked at it； till I could have thought the mother spoke to
me； and comforted me。 And the natives were very kind。 We could
not understand one another； but they saw my baby on my breast； and
they came out to me； and brought me rice and milk； and sometimes
flowers … I have got some of the flowers dried。 Then； the next morning；
I was so tired； and they wanted me to stay with them … I could tell that …
and tried to frighten me from going into the deep woods； which； indeed；
looked